


Years In The Making

by kittenofdoomage



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/M, Pining, Pregnancy, Smut, Violence, Witches, complicated pregnancy, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-12 16:27:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21479377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenofdoomage/pseuds/kittenofdoomage
Summary: A tale written from three first-person perspectives - Dean, an Alpha who never thought he wanted an Omega; Sam, an Alpha who lost his Omega; and Y/N, the Omega who runs a safe-house for hunters. Their lives are about to change.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Sam Winchester/Original Female Character
Comments: 66
Kudos: 209
Collections: SPN Favorites





	1. January

**Reader**

It was snowing heavily on the first morning I met the Winchesters for the first time in ten years. The phone call out of the blue on a freezing January morning meant I had two house guests for at least a week and I wasn’t really able to hide my shock at the state of them when they turned up in a somewhat worse for wear Impala.

Sam was black and blue, his bottom lip swollen and split, a nice jagged wound across his eyebrow. Dean wasn’t any better, with six broken fingers and a few broken ribs to go with the purple eye he was sporting. Both of them were covered in blood and gore, and I thanked whatever power was listening that I had two bathrooms.

Directing a brother to each, I left clean towels for them, and pulled their things in from the car, sorting through to find fresh clothing and to dump their dirty stuff in the laundry. Weapons were my second point of call when I returned to the vehicle, making a mental note to clean her as soon as I got the chance. Dean would have to fix the dents and bumps but I could at least give the poor thing a vacuum.

Once upon a time, I was cleaning up after an entirely different person, and it was half the reason I did this now. Dad was a hunter and he’d hunted with John Winchester several times - that was how I knew these two lumbering piles of flannel. Personally, I never had the stomach for killing things, but I found my niche in the “family business” - care-taking. My home was a safe-house, and I made it a point that I could always be counted on for a warm place to sleep and help with research. Living in the middle of nowhere had its perks; I’ve lived here my whole life, keeping house and helping hunters that passed through.

This was the first time I’d seen the Winchesters in nearly ten years. Things had changed.

Coming from a long line of Alphas, I managed to surprise the hell outta my dad when I, the headstrong and stubborn little girl of the family, who’d had to grow up too quickly after the death of her mother and brother, presented as an Omega a couple days shy of my eighteenth birthday. After that, Dad had been careful to help me mask my status, not that I’m ashamed of it. He claimed it was to keep me safe, but I always suspected that he hated I wasn’t an Alpha.

When he’d died, I’d been a few months past twenty two, and I was alone for the first time in my life. Not completely, because Ms. Wethers down the road keeps, and she’s a lovely old lady who had two Omega sons and knew exactly how to help. She showed me how to suppress the heats with medicinal herbs, ignore the biological needs my body demanded - it made for a much easier life.

So when January brought two injured Alpha hunters to my door, I panicked a little. Distracting myself with cleaning was helpful, in the short term. Sam asked for help first, when I knocked on the door to check on him. He was having trouble stitching up the cut across his eyebrow and I realized quickly that he was actually making a complete hash of it.

His lopsided grin was adorable and made me laugh. "I thought you were good at this stuff?"

He shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub so he was more my height. "I am normally. On other people. Or if it’s my stomach or arm, leg’s the easiest. I think it’s harder when you’re technically having to do it backwards in a mirror." I smiled, trying not to wince as I slowly eased out the two wonky stitches he’d already put in, before rethreading the needle and starting again. He hissed loudly when I made the first stitch.

"Oh shut up, you big baby. You’ve had worse than this." The scolding made him laugh quietly and he sat patiently as I finished the short job. "So, what got hold of you and your brother?"

"Werewolf," he sighed, "well, technically three of 'em. Little pack of psychos running around enjoying the taste of human flesh. I’m surprised we got 'em."

"You and your brother will find the hardest hunts." I finished sewing up his eyebrow, leaving a neat little knot at the end and cutting the thread with the nail scissors. "All done. Good thing there isn’t much you can’t kill huh?"

Sam nodded, picking up a cotton wool pad and standing to clean around the area. "Hey, Y/N?" He asked, making me look up from the kit I was packing away. "Are you sure we’re okay to stay here? I’d get on the move quickly but Dean’s in bad shape and he needs to stop and let this one mend."

I wasn’t about to say no. But I knew exactly why he was worried. "Of course it’s okay, Sam,” I assured him, “I’m not due a heat for another two weeks. Plenty of time for your brother to heal." He nodded, smiling in gratitude. Both Winchesters knew I was an Omega, although they hadn’t seen me since I presented. Mostly I stuck to helping via email although my relationship with Sam was closer than with Dean, on an intellectual front.

Leaving the younger brother be, I headed downstairs to the other bathroom, knocking on the door gently. Dean yelped from the other side and then followed with permission to enter. As I pushed the door open, he was stood with his jeans slung low on his hips, the fly open, just teasing the top of his groin, the v-shaped lines slanting down into his pelvis. 

Huh.

I never realized he was quite so… built.

Or that he smelled so good. My sensitive nose was picking up a variety of scents underneath the blood and dirt that filled the room.

The only thing that stopped me staring was the horrific looking splotches of purple, blue and black staining the right side of his abdomen. Dean looked up, pain written across his handsome face as I moved forward, quickly bending down to retrieve the medical kit I kept under the sink that he hadn’t found yet, trying to ignore the fact that he smelled like everything delicious in the world.

"T-think these might need some t-time." His teeth chattered even though he wore a pained grin.

"Did you manage to shower okay?" I asked, straightening with the kit in hand before opening it and rummaging through.

"Had a bit of trouble washing my hair. Couldn’t raise my arm. Think I got all the blood out though." I nodded absently, locating the thick bandages in the kit, turning to inspect his wounds. There were cuts and scrapes all over his arms, which I could only assume were caused by claw marks and the bruising on his right went all the way round his back. 

Drawing closer, I was forced to breathe through my mouth, desperate to ignore the smell of Alpha coming off of him. His scent was stronger than his brother’s. "I’m gonna check, okay? It’s gonna hurt."

"I thought as much." He grit his teeth, closing his bright green eyes, although the bruised one didn’t quite shut all the way. When my hands met his skin, he winced at the first touch and outright cried out when I located the first broken rib. On the second, he cried out again; when I found the third, he’d obviously regained his composure and the anticipated cry came out a strangled groan.

"You’ve got three broken ribs." I walked around the back of him, taking stock of his injuries. Thankfully, I didn’t spot a single bite mark but there was a large gash on his shoulder blade. "This needs stitches and good clean out." My forehead crinkled as I frowned, seeing another gash across the back of his head, easily visible under the short hair. "Did you fall during the fight?"

"Yeah. I’ve cut my head open, right?" Dean turned a little, groaning with the effort - I raised a hand to hold him still, knowing he was in worse shape than I initially thought.

"More stitches," I sighed. It was going to be a long night. These boys couldn’t do anything by half. "I’ll get your ribs bandaged up and you can come into the kitchen for me to clean the rest of those cuts. How the hell did you get so banged up? Sam wasn’t this bad." It was harder than I thought to keep the hysteria out of my voice.

Dean shrugged, then groaned at the pain the automatic gesture caused. His pupils were blown - there was a good chance he had a concussion, which would explain his muted responses. "Maybe because I tend to be a bit more reckless than my baby bro." He raised his unbruised eyebrow to my expression, which I knew must have looked pretty awful. "Hey, you’re getting to see me with my top off. Isn’t that worth a few bruises?"

"This isn’t a few bruises, Dean." I started to wind the bandage around his midsection, ignoring his pained grunts as I did what needed to be done. It didn’t take long to wrap his ribs and I knew he’d be here for at least a week before he could move properly.

When I was done, he smiled, taking my hand in his undamaged one. His fingers were soft from the shower. "Your dad was right."

The comment took me off guard. "Huh?"

"Your dad always said you were best damn hunter’s nurse in the world. He was right." His smile, despite the bruising on his face, was charming as ever and I smiled back before tapping him on the butt.

Only because I was certain that it wouldn’t hurt him there.

"Kitchen, now."

*****

**Dean**

Broken ribs hurt like a bitch. Granted, Y/N’s wrap job with the bandages was ace, but it still hurt. There wasn’t any amount of aspirin that could ease the agony that coursed my nerves when I so much as cleared my throat.

Beer helped. Vodka would have been better, but Y/N didn’t keep it in the house. And she’d hidden the whiskey from me, insisting that getting drunk was not the answer.

It’s a good thing she’s cute.

The Alpha in me loves her. I think I did from the second I laid eyes on her when we were practically kids. I’d already presented then, Alpha, just like my dad thought I would. It seems like she gets hotter every time I look at her. Sam assured me there’s no danger of me going into rut or anything – she was in heat and finished way before we got here. He isn’t lying either; I can still smell it in the house. He doesn’t seem nearly as affected by her proximity as I am.

Of course, Y/N is a great cook as well as a top class medic. I’m starting to think she’s trying to fatten us up. There’s these burgers she makes, with bacon, cheese and mushrooms ...jeez, even Mr-Health-Freak-Sam can’t resist them. And she makes the best pie. The woman is a miracle in the kitchen.

She’s perfect.

Which is why I had to get healed and out of there as quickly as possible. Me being in love with anyone is a bad idea – only had to look at my past to know that.  _ Dean Winchester is a curse.  _ Used to think it was the family line, but no, it’s just me. Sometimes I wonder why Sam sticks around.

Another four days and I can get out of here, he says. She’s not letting me leave easily either, despite my protests. I don’t think she sees it. That being around her is a temptation I’m barely resisting.

"Dean?"

Sam’s voice disturbs my train of thought, and he grins as he walks into the room.

"Daydreaming about Y/N again?" Trust him to pick up on exactly what I’m feeling. Downside to spending every waking moment together.

"Shut up, Sam. What do you want?"

"Ribs still bad?"

"Yeah," I grunt at him, just to make it clear that I’m in a mood. He scowls, picking up wifi on his forehead again. The internal joke usually makes me laugh but that would hurt too much.

"Impala needs fixing. Thought we could start on it."

I blink in surprise at the offer. Sam and I haven’t worked on the car together in ages. And now he’s suggesting it? Strange. "Yeah, er, sure. Just let me grab some more painkillers and I’ll be with you." He nods and leave the study, the front door opening and shutting. I stand up, heading for the kitchen to grab some painkillers. And of course, Y/N is in there, doing the dishes.

How could someone look so sexy with their arms elbow deep in suds?

"Hey, Dean." She smiles and I have to swallow down the urge to take her right there. I’m not an animal, but she’s just so fucking gorgeous. She’s like every sin on a platter in front of me, and I wonder if she fucking knows it. "You going out to help Sam?"

"Yeah." Why is my throat so dry?

"Fresh air will do you good. Don’t go hurting yourself though." She nods to the packet of painkillers on the side. "I’m guessing you want those?" I nod, and swipe them, turning away quickly. Okay, so maybe she doesn’t know the effect she has on me, but I’m not gonna stick around and find out.

Swallowing down the pills dry is almost as hard as swallowing down the fact that I’m falling hard and fast for someone I hadn’t seen in ten years. I’m not sure whether that hurts more than the ribs or not.

*****

**Reader**

The Impala was pretty much brand new again, thanks to my dad’s habit of hoarding tools and car parts in the shed. Dean had managed to find a couple of old machetes that he’d cleaned until they were new again. I had no problem letting him have them, knowing they’d go to good use stopping the evil out there.

I had insisted that they stay until Dean was able to move without grimacing. He was trying to hide it – I’m not stupid – but I knew Sam wouldn’t want to leave until the snow had passed. A storm had started the previous evening and whilst Dean was getting antsy to hunt again, the Impala wouldn’t stand up to snow that deep.

Leaning out on the porch, a cup of hot cocoa in hand, I watched the wind play with the white flakes on the lawn. There was a good foot of the white stuff, and I always loved it, ever since I was a kid. When it snowed, everything was quieter, cleaner…just the way I liked things.

"Hey." Dean’s voice echoed over the wooden porch, and I turned my head to smile at him. I’d been aware of him as soon as he’d got within ten feet. He was walking better now; he stopped at the opposite side of the front door, leaning against the wooden barrier like I did.

"Everything okay?" I asked, curling my fingers around the mug, enjoying the warmth seeping through it.

He nodded. "Sam’s just doing a final weapons check. Snow should be clear enough in the morning for Baby to make it." He grinned. "He found a ghost a state over. Salt and burn. Start slow."

"I don’t think you even know the meaning of that phrase, Dean Winchester." I smiled, returning my attention to the white blanket of the yard in front of the house. He chuckled at my innuendo and then sighed heavily.

"You ever get lonely out here on your own?"

Did I? I shrugged, unsure of the answer. No. Not unsure. Conflicted. Sometimes I was lonely but mostly, I enjoyed the solitude. "Sometimes. But then…I prefer that to the alternative."

"Alternative?" He turned his body to face me, the whiteness of the snow making him seem paler than usual. "What alternative?"

"Living in town. Around people. Alphas, Betas, other Omegas. I’m happy on my own." I was lying through my teeth about being happy but he didn’t need to know that. I never had the desire to be around other people but drawing closer and closer to thirty was driving my body clock insane. Every time my heat hit, I felt like I was going to die and I knew it was only a matter of time before that became a real possibility. 

But Dean didn’t need to know that. 

"I like being the safe-house for everyone. Helping however I can. Can’t exactly do that if I follow the normal code." That wasn’t a lie. I did enjoy the life, or at least the little of it I participated in.

"What’s normal about anything?" Dean huffed, looking away, picking at the wooden trellis he was leaning on.   
  
My shoulders dropped a little, and I looked down into the bubbles on the top of my cocoa. "A mate. Pups….the things hunters don’t get."

He didn’t reply to that and I couldn’t look at him. I wasn’t even sure what he felt in regards to my statement and after a few moments I felt him turn and heard his footsteps retreat back into the house.

The next day, they left, and I watched the Impala leave tracks in the snow down the driveway.   
  
Maybe I’d see them again. But in the long run, it was probably better if I didn’t.


	2. February

** _Dean_ **

I didn’t think we’d be on that road again so soon. Of course, it was white the last time I had my foot on the gas, and now it was pouring with rain. The sky was practically black, despite the early afternoon, and I could barely see through the windscreen wipers trying to push the flow of water away.

The phone call wasn’t unexpected. Sam and I parted ways a week before, needing to cover more ground searching for the monster cutting a bloody swathe through middle America. I’d found nothing on my end, but Sam had found something, and he needed help researching it. And wouldn’t you know, the book he needed was in the possession of someone whose doorstep I’d hoped to never darken again, and the same person I wanted to see every day.

Y/N was expecting us and after picking Sam up from where he’d ditched the truck he’d been using, we’d started the four hour drive to her house. Driving up this road only conjured back the feelings I’d been pushing down for so long.

One part of me wanted a brief visit.

The other part wanted to stay forever.

“So, this book might take a few days to clear up the translation.” Sam said, typing away on his laptop. “Y/N says she’s got some kind of translation program that might help, but she’s unsure. The text has been sitting in her dad’s study for about twenty years. We’re lucky she had it.”

I pulled a smile from out of nowhere, flashing it at Sam. He had to know I was apprehensive about seeing her again, but I couldn’t let him see it on the outside. After thirty odd years, putting on that brave face for my kid brother was too hard a habit to break.

“You and Y/N will have it cracked in no time.”

“It’s not like you’re gonna be no help, Dean.”

“I’m not the book type, Sammy.” I kept my tone playful. I hated research. It was necessary, and when I put my mind to it, I could do it. Hell, I could find vague references in any lore. But I’d rather find the bottle of whiskey that Y/N hid last month.

“We’re gonna need everyone to pitch in on this, Dean. Garth’s already there.”

My hands tightened on the steering wheel, and I had to reprimand myself. Garth was a Beta and one of the sweetest, goofiest guys in the world. No way there was any competition there.

_Shouldn’t be any competition anyway, Dean. She’s never going to be yours._

I hate that voice in the back of my head some days. Even if it was right.

Sam’s phone rang, and I kept my eyes on the road as he answered, cursing under my breath as the rain got heavier.

“Hey Y/N. Yeah. Not a problem. Dean can help with that.” Sam laughed. “No, I don’t think so. We’ll be there soon. Hang tight.”

He hung up and I looked over at him, curious as to what I could help with. My brother seemed to know the question before I spoke and smiled at me.

“There’s a leak in the roof. Garth tried to get up the ladder, but he’s not a fan of heights.”

I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up from my chest. “Reduced to handyman.” My eyes went back to the road. “At least it gets me away from the books.”

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

“Garth, you hungry?” I kept my back to the kitchen door as I yelled for the hunter, busying myself with cutting up the fresh bread I picked up in town this morning. The trip hadn’t been fun, with three out of the four roads flooded, but the old pick up I had just about made the journey. Then I got home to find the roof leaking into the den, enough for a small paddling pool to form. Garth tried to fix it, but he’d gotten up two steps of the ladder and skedaddled back down, apologizing profusely.

Thank god for the Winchesters.

“I could use something to eat, yeah, thanks Y/N!” Garth was such a sweetheart. He was an old friend and I kept in touch with him as much as possible. It had even come to the point that he had his own set of bedclothes for when he stayed and he was the only one who used the box room. If he had anything close to a home, it was here.

“Cheese do ya?”

“Sounds delightful!” he yelled back, cheerily and I smiled, starting on the filling for the sandwiches and quickly finishing them off. As I plated up and carried the food through to the study, the doorbell rang, prompting me to rush to put the platter down.

Dean’s scent was already thick in the air and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Looks like the boys are here.”

“Want me to get that?” Garth asked, his still-wet hair clinging to his forehead. It had been raining for three days now, and even venturing out onto the porch left everything soaked.

“No, it’s okay.” I smiled, knowing he sensed my concern about seeing Dean again. He was very perceptive for a hunter, and very sensitive to other people’s emotions. Which was probably why he hung around so much – he knew I was lonely, no matter how much I lied about it. Unlike anyone else, he refrained from bringing up the “mate” subject.

Garth grinned and took his food as I headed to the front door, opening it to two very soaked Winchesters, both of them smiling. Sam’s long hair was stuck to his face and Dean had a large drop of water hanging off of the end of his nose.

“Wow. Still coming down, huh?” I deadpanned, standing back as both of them squished their way into the house, toeing their boots off.

“Just a bit,” Dean grunted despite the grin on his face. “But it’s good to see you.” His tone was warming and I had to ignore the shiver that ran up my spine like a herd of fucking spiders. Even though it was raining and February, it was like a nuclear blast of hormones in my face; I couldn’t stop tensing when Sam hugged me.

“It’s really good to see you,” he said, pulling back quickly. I shared his sentiments - seeing them alive was a relief if I was being truthful. But I didn’t miss the glance Sam threw at his brother, the apologetic nature making me clench my jaw.

Throwing my arm toward the study, I forced a smile onto my face. “I just made lunch. Garth is in there.” They both nodded and headed into the room where Garth was stuffing his sandwich into his mouth. Releasing the sigh that was burning through my veins, I moved to the kitchen.

The scent of two powerful Alphas in my house was almost too much - this was my territory. Had been forever. And knowing Sam was worried about even touching me in front of Dean was enough to put me on edge.

Focusing on a task was what I need. Anything to get my mind off of the almost possessive anger coming off Dean when his brother hugged me. It was easy to see it was because Sam was an Alpha too but even though biology dictated I should be attracted, I wasn’t. Whenever Dean was around, it was like his presence swallowed in every other feeling in the room, leaving me focused on him like a fucking laser beam.

This was gonna be a long ass week.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

This was actually killing me.  
  
Sammy said we weren’t finished by the end of the week and we had to stay to get the text translated before we could do anything else. I’d been desperately searching for a hunt, anything local, but apparently we were stuck in the middle of dullsville. Nothing. Even Garth couldn’t help.

I took my leave, needing out of the house. Headed out to find a bar in town. Y/N didn’t say anything, but I know she’s blaming herself for my mood. I wish I didn’t have to be this way but when I’m frustrated, I tend to take it out on everyone else. With nothing to kill, I’m useless. I wasn’t any help with the research either.

The dive I came across was on the other side of town. Dark, dingy with just the right amount of cigarette stench and stale beer in the air. Rock tunes playing on the jukebox and some rough looking guys playing pool that I could try and hustle later. But for now, I just wanted to drown myself in alcohol and take the edge off.

And it wasn’t long before I had company.

Her name was Sandra, and she was pretty as they came. Long blonde hair, great rack, wearing that little black dress that apparently every woman owned. She was a… well, I didn’t exactly listen to the stimulating conversation. All that was running through my head was a million different ways to rid myself of the boner I’d had for about a month. What better way than with a nice little Beta number like Sandra?

Then she kissed me and I nearly vomited with disgust at myself.

She left after that, with some guy that had clearly skipped leg day, and I found myself another whiskey. When my eyes were sore, and I knew it was a danger to drive the Impala home, I left, wondering if Sam would notice I’d been gone for a while. A motel was up ahead and I pulled in, slapping a fake credit card on the desk and booking myself in for the night.

The bed was cold, and the room smelt like layers of uncaring sex, and I couldn’t sleep. Relieving the ache in my cock didn’t help the issue. My fingers were like ice; all I could think about was Y/N, wondering what she’d feel like wrapped around me, calling for me, begging me to knot her. Fuck, just knowing that she’d be the perfect Omega… the perfect lover… the perfect mate… everything in me was screaming to go home to her.

For years, Baby had been my home. Now it seemed like my soul had found somewhere else to reside.

Problem was, staying there would end up with her dead.

We needed to get that book translated and get the fuck out of dodge.

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

I’d finished translating and I think we were all relieved that it was over. Dean hadn’t come back the night before and Sam paced the study, constantly looking out the window. Offering my truck to go find him had only made the younger Winchester shake his head.

“He’s probably drunk in a bar with some Beta, making mistakes he’ll regret,” he muttered; I felt a lance of pain in my chest at his words, like someone sticking a pin right into my heart. Dean was the type to go off and find comfort elsewhere. He’d never seek it with me and despite the pain at the thought of him with another woman…

I knew that he’d never be mine. It was too dangerous for the both of us.

“I’m gonna make some coffee. You guys want some?” Garth asked, almost as if he knew what I was thinking.

With all the fake smiling, I was getting jawache. “Actually, I’m gonna…go lay down. I’ve got a headache. Probably from all the reading.” My stupid voice was cracking, I could hear it - no doubt they could too. Mostly, I just wanted out of the room. “Dean’ll be back soon, Sam. Then you guys can get out of here and go get your monster.”

Sam looked stricken as if he’d just realized what he’d said. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean…I know that…” He sighed, dropping his chin. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.” _Not intentionally_, I thought, still making myself smile. Reaching out, I squeezed his elbow, giving him a look that was meant to convey that he wasn’t at fault. “I know what’s on the cards here, Sam. And I’ve accepted it.” _Liar_. “Just get your monster ganked, and call me to let me know you’re both alive, yeah?” He nodded and I had to turn away before I fucking cried, meeting Garth’s eyes as I walked past him.

It was hard not to cry even when I was in the privacy of my own room. Laying in bed, I could hear everything downstairs, the muted conversation between Sam and Garth. I could only catch the odd word but I heard them say Dean’s name a few times.

I was staring at the ceiling about an hour later when Dean returned. Sam chewed him out, loudly, and I pulled the covers over my head, closing my eyes as tightly as I could. 

Obviously he’d gone and spent the night elsewhere, and the thought of what he’d probably gotten up to was excruciating.

Eventually, they’d stopped shouting at each other, and I heard the front door slam, shortly followed by the roar of the Impala. As the noise of the engine faded into the distance, I let myself cry, still keeping it quiet.

Garth knocked at the door gently, peering in. The tears had left me with a throat like sandpaper and swollen eyes, so I didn’t say anything. Approaching slowly, the skinny hunter came to the side of the bed, pulling me into his skinny arms and hugging me tightly. 

“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t beat yourself up over this.”

My body shook, the strength of my emotions getting the better of me. It probably didn’t help that I was close to that time of the month; with PMS everything always seemed worse.

But right now, Dean spending the night with some random woman seemed like the end of the world.


	3. March

** _Reader_ **

The heavy rain in February was always somewhat cathartic, clearing away the freezing winter and leaving behind a fresh spring in March, with morning frost slowly giving way to dew covered lawns and trees. I liked walking in the morning, usually traversing the couple of miles into town for fresh milk and fruit, the odd loaf of fresh bread. Ms Wethers would be outside her little cottage, watering the new plants she’d put in for the year, and occasionally she’d stop me to chat. Her eldest son had just become a father for the first time and she was always over excited to show me the latest picture on the smartphone she could barely use.

I tried to ignore how much the thought of never having that hurt.

No one in town really paid much attention to me. I was just the odd Omega that lived on the outskirts of town, not doing anyone harm. Most of them gave me a nod or a smile when I walked past, and I returned the gesture out of social obligation. There wasn’t any need to be rude, after all.

It was nearing the end of March, approaching the Easter holidays, when I popped into the family run bakers to pick up some fresh bread. Garth was back at the house, recovering from a vampire almost taking his leg off, and I’d been running low on supplies for a few days. 

The bell above the door tinkled merrily to announce my entrance to the shop; Mrs. Dobson, the baker’s wife, smiled widely at me, a tiny lipstick stain on her top teeth distracting me for all of a second.

“Y/N!”

I was unaware she even knew my name but I covered my shock and replied quickly. “Mrs. Dobson.” Punctuating the greeting with a quick nod of my head, I approached the till.

“How are you?” she asked, sweetly.

“I’m fine,” I replied, puzzled by her friendliness. Honestly, I couldn’t remember when she’d ever struck up conversation before. “Can I get a loaf and some of those iced pastries?”

“Another house guest?” she enquired, not looking at me as she prepared the order. I wasn’t sure what to make of that question. The woman had barely said two words to me my entire life and now she was asking about my visitors?

“Yeah. A friend. He’s not well and needs a bit of nursing.”

Mrs. Dobson looked up, grinning widely. “Ah, just like your father. He was always having problems with his friends and hunting accidents. If you ask me, these men and their guns… all very primal.” I nodded, tapping my fingers against my thigh and hoping she’d hurry up. “Ms. Wethers worries about you, up there all on your own. And Mr. Mackley said he saw a couple of Alpha boys sniffing around last month.”

Nerves clogged my throat, so I swallowed them down, fixing a smile onto my face. I could understand Ms. Wethers making a passing comment – she’d said she was worried about me being on my own before at least once. But Mr. Mackley was a curtain-twitching old bastard who had always poked his nose where it wasn’t wanted.

“Just friends, Mrs. Dobson.” She nodded, placing the bags with my order on the side, just within reach.

“That’ll be five dollars, Y/N.” Handing her the money, I scooped up the bag. “He just thought it was odd, you know. With your pa gone, you might have wanted a nice Alpha male around to help out.”

“I manage on my own,” I replied, keeping my tone polite despite the indignation I could feel bubbling away. It always bugged me - I wasn’t some helpless pup, I was a grown woman and Dad had been gone a long time. “It is okay for Omegas to have friends that are Alphas, despite what Mr. Mackley says.”

Mrs. Dobson shook her head, clearly realizing she’d offended me. “Oh I know, sweetheart, I know,” she smiled and I knew whatever was about to come out of her mouth would leave me fuming, “still, you are nearing thirty. Don’t want to leave it too long for babies!”

My mouth set into a thin line and I suddenly decided to use the supermarket bakery from now on, even if their bread wasn’t quite as nice. Dropping the bag to my side, I forwent politeness and turned on my heel, not wanting to discuss things with the woman any further. “Thank you for the baked goods, Mrs. Dobson.” I didn’t wait for her reply, leaving the shop and stomping along the pavement, anger simmering low in my veins.

Some people seriously had a nerve. Just because I happened to have a genetic structure that put me on the lowest rung of the social hierarchy, they thought they had a right to stick their goddamn noses in. It was about time that society woke up and realized they weren’t cavemen anymore.

Garth picked up on my foul mood as soon as I walked into the house, looking up from where he was laying on the sofa, his leg propped up and wrapped in bandages, a frown on his face. “You okay?”

“Mrs. Dobson. Nosey old bitch in the bakery.” I couldn’t keep the scowl off my face as I dropped the bag on the hallway table. A sigh escaped me without my permission and I felt a need to explain my dislike of the woman, even though Garth probably didn’t give two shits. “I don’t like thinking badly of people but why do I get all the shit comments about being single just because I happen to be Omega? I don’t need a fucking Alpha to run my life.”

Garth smiled, clearly amused at my irritation. “We know you don’t. Isn’t that what matters?”

“Just a bit sick of it,” I replied with a grunt, flopping onto the second sofa opposite his makeshift bed. “Being judged is….”

“Shit,” he finished, his smile not wavering. Of course he understood how I felt. “At least you have options. I’m a skinny Beta with no chance.”

“I thought you had the corner market on the ladies, Garth?” It was irresistible to tease him, returning his affectionate smile - he always was good at cheering me up. “You were seeing that one girl… er… what’s her name? Miranda? Melinda?”

“Melissa,” he corrected with a dreamy sigh. “She was…way too good for me. Besides, she was Alpha. And Alpha girls are… a little hot to handle.” He winked. “Couldn’t keep up.”

As much as I love the guy, hearing about his sex life was an instant ‘_no thanks_’. “Eww Garth, too much information. What about a nice Omega girl? We aren’t as bad as everyone says.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Like you?” I barked a laugh at that one but he seemed to take it with a pinch of salt, grinning at me. “All it takes is for a true mate, the real Alpha to turn up and bam! Garth on the curb. I mean, could you seriously tell me that you wouldn’t ditch anyone if Dean -”

I held up a hand, not willing to discuss my love life. "Gonna stop you there. For one, I’m not a nice Omega girl. I’m a social recluse with an Internet problem and a creepy second life. Not cut out for pups or any of that stuff. And secondly…” God, it hurt to admit it out loud and it was everything I could do not to sound depressed as hell. “Dean would never claim me.”

“He’s your Alpha, you know,” Garth murmured, reaching over for his phone. "The signs are there.”

“No. He’s not. I’m… not.” I shook my head, unable to even vocalize a denial because there was still a part of me clinging to a stupid dream. “Even if it were true, Dean and me…’

"Do I need to retrieve Mr Fizzles?” he interrupted; I glared at him and he gave me that stupid puppy dog look he’d mastered over years of dealing with grumpy hunters. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear it worked on monsters. Maybe that was how he managed to survive. 

“Y/N, I know you and Dean is a touchy subject, hell I’m not stupid, but I’m not blind either. Maybe it’s gonna take some time, but you’ll both realise. You’re not gonna be happy as long as you evade the truth.”

“He’s a hunter. I’m just… me. Nothing exciting. Dean doesn’t want to settle down; he couldn’t.”

“Why not?” Garth frowned. “Who says hunters can’t have lives?”

“Because that’s what gets them killed,” I replied simply, shrugging. There wasn’t any more to it than that.

“So others say. If it’s meant to be, then there’s a way.”

“How are you so optimistic about life?” Petty anger welled in my chest and I felt a need to lash out, something I probably should have ignored before I drove my only real friend away. “You aren’t exactly starting the new Brady Bunch.”

Garth’s smile faded a little before he looked me square in the eye. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try if I met the right girl. If you don’t ever try for the happiness, how can you say absolutely that it’s not possible?” I had to admit, the response had me pressed back into the cushions, unable to come up with a single damn counterpoint.

Still… 

It didn’t matter even if he was right. Because even if I changed my mind, if I wanted those things, if Dean was my Alpha… he was halfway across America and he wouldn’t be thinking of me at all. He wouldn’t want those things, so what did it matter if I did?

*****

** _Dean_ **

It was raining outside. I wasn’t sure if it would be raining where she was, but of course I thought that whether it was rain, sun, or friggin’ hurricane. Wherever I was, my thoughts inevitably drifted back to Y/N, wondering if she was helping another hunter, if she was alone again, or if she’d…

God, even thinking about her meeting someone was like a knife to the heart that wouldn’t kill me but shredded me to pieces. A thousand times I’d typed her name into my cell, intending on texting her, calling her… and every time I put the phone away, too afraid of being shot down to even try.

Sam had picked up on it, and he’d only brought it up a handful of times. I told him to cram it every single time, when in reality I wanted nothing more than to pour my heart out. But I couldn’t tell him. Couldn’t say the words.

I didn’t want to hunt.

I didn’t want to fight monsters.

I wanted to be at her side, with her every second of the day. I wanted to make love to her and claim her as my own, like my goddamn instincts told me to. Wanted to see her belly full of my pups, the radiant glow of motherhood around her.

Whatever Sam would say in response, I’d feel like nothing but a sap. This was just my stupid biology talking, wanting to take the Impala halfway across the world to her side. I could ignore this. No matter how painful it got.

March was closing off when Sam finally broached the subject with me again. We were driving down a long stretch of wet highway, heading to another boring salt and burn. The monster we’d been hunting the month before, the ghoul pack as it turned out to be, had been slaughtered by another group of hunters, although Y/N’s work had come in handy.

“How you feeling?” I tried to ignore the question but Sam, stubborn as anything, continued to talk. “You seem a little tense. Especially since we left…” He trailed off. "And that little fight you had with Joe? He was only making a comment about how helpful Y/N had been.”

“Wasn’t that.” I grumbled. Joe Thompson - a green as hell Cali hunter - was a cocky little Alpha mutt. I’d clashed with him instantly and when he’d made a comment about Y/N helping him and his father out on a hunt, and how she was fantastic with her hands… I saw red. In my defence, I only punched the little shit because I’d heard his comment about how he’d like to make her beg for his knot.

“No, I know. He was being a dick,” Sam chuckled. “I’d have done the same thing if someone talked about my Omega like that.”

Sometimes I forgot that Sam had lost his Omega. Jess had been the world to him, so long ago now, but he’d never fully gotten over it. What everyone else saw was miles from the nights he spent screaming out her name in his sleep, the constant nightmares that still plagued him now. Ever since then, he’d not been the same, his instincts muted. He could chat any woman up but it wasn’t likely he’d ever take a mate again. 

It made me feel even worse.

“She’s not my Omega,” I replied, my hands flexing on the wheel of the Impala. “She never will be.”

Sam frowned. “Why?”

I glanced over at him, before returning my eyes to the road. “What do you mean, ‘_why_’?”

“Why wouldn’t she ever be your Omega?”

I sighed, trying to ignore how much the thought pained me. “Because I’m a hunter, Sam. Everyone I love usually dies. The curse was never on our family - it was just on me.” He was silent for a moment when I said that and I wondered if he would speak again. 

The car ate up the road underneath us and I tried not to let my thoughts drift back to Y/N. I failed, naturally.

“You’re an idiot.” Sam finally spoke; I blinked, glared at him sideways. “Seriously, Dean… the tension between you two is so… it’s starting to drive me nuts, so God knows how it’s affecting you. Or her.” He shook his head, leaning against the window with his shoulder. “Both of you. You’re as stubborn as each other.”

I didn’t reply. Truth is, I knew he was right. But Y/N wouldn’t wanna be tied to someone like me. I’m a danger, I live a terrifying life and not one I wanna drag her into any further than she already was. 

Dragging children into it, too?

It’d just be easier if I stopped thinking about her.

But I wouldn’t.


	4. April

** _Dean_ **

I honestly hadn’t intended to return. Even after all Sam’s talk, and his constant prodding, I was going to keep my distance.

Then Garth called, and I damn near destroyed Baby’s engine gunning it down the highway, making a six hour trip in four just to get to her quicker. Sam sat beside me the whole time, his jaw tight, his hands curled into fists on his knees, his eyes focused on the road much like mine.

Demons had tracked down Y/N through a hunter that she’d helped. They’d put out a hit on her… not to kill, but to make all of us aware that she was a prime target. She’s managed to stay hidden all these years, and then they’d found her.

And I couldn’t help but think it was my fault.

Garth had been staying with her, a fracture in his lower leg rendering him unable to hunt for a while. I managed to push aside the gnawing jealousy in the pit of my stomach to be thankful he was there, otherwise they might have gone all the way and murdered her. As it was, he was injured and she was worse.

He said that she’d put up a hell of a fight, and killed two of the demons before the remaining three pinned her. The scrawny Beta had tried to stop them but he’d been knocked clean out, unable to do much more than hobble threateningly at them in the first place.

The Impala skidded to a halt in the driveway and the engine had barely even turned off before I was out of the car, not caring if Sam was following or not. Garth was at the door, obviously waiting for us anxiously, a shotgun in his hands and too much blood on his shirt.

I knew without asking that it was hers.

“Where is she?” I demanded and Garth saw straight past my menacing exterior to how panicked and torn up I was inside. He pointed to the bedroom he usually used, on the first floor by the staircase, where the door was slightly ajar. Without thanking him, I pushed past, only stopping when the door creaked open.

On the old blue bedspread she’d once told me belonged to her grandmother, Y/N was curled up in the fetal position, her arm wrapped poorly in bandages, her white tank top soaked with blood. Her face was a mess, her bottom lip swollen and split, her right eye the same, and it looked like one of the demons had almost slit her throat; a long gash spread from just underneath her left ear round to the middle of her chin.

She cracked her undamaged eye open and looked up at me, relief in her gaze. I stumbled forward, collapsing to my knees at the side of the bed, feeling as broken as she looked and a second later, feeling guilty for even thinking like that.

This was my fault.

“I’m so sorry.” My voice was a choked whisper, and I reached out to take her hand, noticing that it was free of injury but still spattered with blood. As I met her gaze again, she frowned, before wincing at the pain in her face.

“Sorry for what?” she asked, clearly confused.

I shook my head, not realizing that she never laid the blame at my door for this. I could do that all on my own right now. “I led them here. We should never have come to you for help.”

Her laughter was still bright, despite her agony, but it quickly turned into a racking cough that left fresh tears coursing down her face, leaving a trail in the dirt and crimson on her skin. “Dean, you’re not the only hunters I help. This isn’t your fault.”

She wasn’t going to convince me of that for a while. “I should have been here,” I insisted.

“You were working a case. How is any of this your fault?” She didn’t let me speak to argue. “Stop being an idjit and get me a drink of water. Feel like my throat is on fire here.” There was no need to explain why. She’d screamed - of course she’d screamed; they’d made a fucking canvas out of her body for their amusement.

I turned, picking up the pitcher on the bedside table, noticing the dressings and blood covered antiseptic pads that Garth had left. He’d tried his best, bless him, but he wasn’t skilled in the art of patching up. He’d gone to dental school, I recalled him mentioning it once, but he’d obviously never learned the finer points of stitching a wound.

“Everything okay?” Sam’s voice made me look up, and I nodded, not daring to speak to my baby brother as I poured Y/N a glass of water, my instincts screaming at me to get the other Alpha out of the room, that I had to protect Y/N - I’d already let her down.

It just reminded me, again, of why she was better off not being my Omega.

Sam crept across the room, taking a seat at the other side of the bed. He started to check Y/N’s wounds, frowning at the extensive cuts and gashes across her shoulders and stomach. She allowed him to touch her freely, which made my hackles rise; I tried to focus on getting her to drink some of the water without hurting her more. My brother carried on checking her over, muttering to himself, before standing again.

“I’m gonna go get the medical kit from the bathroom. These wounds need stitching and cleaning.” He didn’t wait for an answer, and I didn’t watch him leave, keeping all of my attention on Y/N. I heard him talking to Garth in the corridor, checking to see if he was injured, which he wasn’t really, and hearing the other hunter apologize for his awful medical skills. I didn’t blame him for this.

I’d always blame myself.

“Dean, you need to stop.” Y/N’s voice brought me out of my downward spiral, her fingers clenching around my wrist. God, she was almost fucking gray. “This is not your fault.” She shifted on the bed, yelping quietly in pain as she moved her leg. I looked down, seeing several deep slashes through her jeans. Garth had missed them and fresh blood was soaking into the material. “That… really hurts…” she whimpered, crying hard, clinging to me as I tried to inspect the wound.

The denim was stuck to some of her leg and I knew it was going to hurt even to cut the pants off of her. And she was already in enough pain. Barking out Garth’s name, I asked him to go into the Impala’s trunk and pull out the medical we kept. Y/N only had painkillers in the house, and I carried much stronger stuff. You never knew when you needed to knock someone out.

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

When I woke up, the house was silent and night had fallen, leaving me with a moment of disorientation. The room was lit only by a dim lamp by the window and turning my head was painful as hell, so I kept my eyes on the ceiling. Trying to grasp what had happened was hard, the details hazy, and I ignored it in favor of figuring out what was going on now.

I was still at home, in the room Garth normally used when he didn’t have fractured bones, that much was clear. And the strong scent of Alpha was in the air, which usually indicated hunters were nearby. Garth was watching something in the living room; I could hear the telltale tones of a soap opera, which he’d admitted were a guilty pleasure before. His laughter rang out and he was joined by another. 

Sam. 

Sam was here.

A soft snore to the other side of the bed made me turn, wincing as I was reminded of the agony thumping through my skull. Dean was asleep in a battered old armchair I usually kept in the den, his sleeves rolled up and his jeans bloodied.

I remembered.

The demons.

Everything they’d done to me over the course of god-knows how many hours.

_Filthy little Omega bitch. Want your master back here? Tail between his legs?_

I closed my eyes tightly, anger simmering in my chest, pain exploding through every single one of the bruises they’d left and a whimper escaped my throat. Immediately, Dean was awake, concern plastered across his features as he fell out of the chair and to his knees at my side.

"Y/N? You okay?”

“I-I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head lightly so I didn’t make the migraine worse. “I’m sore but…you knocked me out -”

"Me and Sam fixed you up,” he said quietly, starting to check me over again. My clothes were clean now, although I was sans bra and one of them had found the little shorts I normally wore as pajamas.

At some point, I’d been naked in front of both of the Winchesters.

That probably shouldn’t be what worried me most, but there’s logic and then there’s reality.

“You were pretty banged up,” Dean continued. “They worked you over good. Enough to hurt, but not to -” He didn’t appear to be able to say it.

_To kill._

I wanted something strong. Whiskey. Morphine. Fucking anything to take the edge off the pain.

“Yeah. They… they wanted to know where you were. Thought that you’d come straight back.” I wished I hadn’t said that when I saw my physical pain reflected in his eyes. Now he’d step up the blame game - honestly, I’d never met anyone as self-deprecating as that damn Alpha.

“Garth said you killed a couple of them.”

“There were too many.” All I could manage was a whisper. If I spoke any louder, I was worried I might cry. “The three that were left… I don’t know… I don’t know what happened to them… or if they’ll come back… I don’t…”

"Sssh.” Dean slipped his hand over my stomach, avoiding the injuries, offering comfort with his touch. It was warm, soothing… I wanted him to stop it but only because it was a tease of something I could never have. “Garth took them out. He woke up when -” His green eyes dropped to the bedspread. It wasn’t my grandmother’s one, in fact, it looked brand new. No doubt the blood had destroyed the old one. “When he heard you screaming,” Dean managed to finish. “You passed out and he exorcised them. He called us, and tried to patch you up but -”

"Garth is good at a lot of things. Being a medic is not on that list.” I laughed a little, despite the pain, although it wasn’t worth it. “I’m glad you came. As long as they won’t come back for you.”

Dean shook his head. “Me and Sam can handle it. We’re not going anywhere for a while.” His fingers slid between mine and the warmth was suddenly overwhelming, mixed with the relief that he’d come for me. “If we can get hold of Cas, he’ll help heal you.” I remembered Castiel; only met him once but he’d left an impression. “And we’ll stay. Stop this from happening.”

“They won’t force me out of my home, Dean.” Stubbornness was my superpower and even though I was shaking like a leaf, I was determined not to let it beat me. “Not ever.”

“I know.” He smiled, pulling my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles in a way that made my stomach do this little flip-flop thing. Wasn’t sure if I was going to grin like a lunatic or puke.

I opted for keeping a straight face as I looked at him, hoping I didn’t hurt him with what I said next.

“You can’t stay.” The sudden statement made him frown in confusion, and he sat back a little, waiting for an explanation which I rushed to provide. “Bad timing. It’ll only be a few days before… before I go into heat. We both know that it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to be around.”

I was so looking forward to being in absolute agony this time around.

Dean’s face remained impassive for a moment before he slowly untangled his fingers from mine. “Okay. Not a problem. We’ll call a couple of other hunters - we know a few Betas. And Garth will be here. We’ll make sure you’re not alone.” His expression was accepting, his tone even, but I didn’t believe it for a second. 

He was so damn transparent.

Dean believed I wanted him to leave because I didn’t want him. 

Garth was right. I was so in friggin’ love with Dean Winchester, thinking about sending him away hurt more than the gashes and bruises covering my skin.

I’d still do it though. He couldn’t be tied to me. Not when I couldn’t protect myself from a couple of hench demons.

“I know you won’t,” I said quietly; he smiled, squeezing my hand once more before standing up.

“You need to eat. I’m gonna go sort some food out.” Unable to look him in the face, I replied with a nod, watching him leave before trying to shift into a comfortable position. The boys had left me laying on my back while they’d patched up the wounds but I was never comfortable sleeping like that.

Dean’s voice caught my attention again, and I stopped moving, listening intently.

“Oh, you’re telling me you had no idea? That your demons were out doing this without you being aware?” A silent pause and I frowned, wondering who he was talking to. He was in the kitchen - I could hear the coffee maker running and Sam was still laughing along with Garth in the living room. “I don’t give a fuck. You find out who decided it would be a good idea to fuck with my… to fuck with her… you find out and you deal with it. Before I come find you and find a nice cosy spot to shove you in Lucifer’s cage with him!”

The venom in his voice made me shiver. I heard him slam his phone on the table, then he growled and Sam’s heavy footsteps padded along the corridor.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked. Dean who huffed loudly.

“Crowley.” I knew that name. “Says he doesn’t know who decided Y/N was a good target.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. Resting.” Dean’s sigh was clear over the sound of Garth’s chuckling. “I’m gonna kill him if he knew anything about this.”

I pulled myself up a little, seeking some form of comfort despite the injuries. Sam spoke again and I continued to listen - I’d never been ashamed of eavesdropping and it was my damn house. “I don’t know whether he did or not. But it’s not just that bugging you.”

“No,” Dean’s voice was quieter now but still clear, “Y/N said we should leave. She’s gonna be in heat soon and… she doesn’t want me around. Or you. I know, I know, it won’t affect you cos you’re just not…”

Sam had never been attracted to me. I was strangely okay with that, even though I could recognize his aesthetic appeal. He was just… too brotherly.

"No, I’m not. But I don’t know if it’s such a good idea we should leave.”

“She doesn’t want me here, Sammy.” The dejection in his words, confirming my earlier assumption, was enough to make my heart clench painfully in my chest.

“That’s bull. She does want you here. She just doesn’t… fuck, I’m gonna bang your heads together. Even if she _is_ in heat, Dean, you’re not some teenage Alpha that would knot a fucking wall if it looked at you the right way. You’re an adult, and you can control yourself.”

“I know that,” Dean huffed, “but she asked me to leave.”

“So you roll over and show your belly?” Sam chuckled. “Never thought I’d see the day that Dean Winchester did as he was told.”

I couldn’t help but smile at that. Dean wasn’t famous for his compliance.

“Shut up.”

“We’re staying,” Sam said, the kitchen door squeaking as he moved it. I’d been meaning to oil that damn joint for weeks. “Put your foot down, tell her straight. She needs you, Dean. Not me, not Garth, not anyone else. You.”

Silence fell and Sam’s footsteps moved back past my door to the living room, the shadow of his large frame filling the small gap of where the door was open for just a second. Moments later, Dean stepped back into the room; I rolled my head to look at him, wondering if he actually knew how thin the walls of the house were.

“I’m gonna order pizza,” he said, smiling. He had no clue. “Any preference?”

“Pepperoni.” I answered automatically, despite not being hungry in the slightest. Nodding, Dean turned and I knew I couldn’t lie to him about what I’d heard. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” He looked back, one hand on the doorframe.

“I heard… I heard what you said to Sam. And what Sam said to you.” He paled and I couldn’t help but smile. “Walls in this house are really thin. And you guys don’t seem to be able to master hushed tones.” I frowned for a second, pondering that fact. “How the hell do you hunt so well when you’re so damn loud?”

Dean stepped back towards the bed. “Y/N -”

"No.” I held up a hand, trying to ignore all the cuts that pulled as I did - I needed to tell him before I pussied out. “Sam was right. We’re both being idiots here and I wanna get this out. Need to lay it all on the table, right?” He nodded but I could tell he was nervous as hell. “Fuck, Dean, I’ve been in love with you since I was a teenager. It’s wrong and dangerous and…”

"Who said it was wrong?” he muttered, confusion dipping his eyebrows.

“Well, maybe not wrong but… I never in a million years thought you’d want me. Especially after I presented as… well, let’s face it, the bottom rung of the hierarchy.” He scoffed and I smiled; Dean was never one to believe in Omegas being the lesser of the species. “But you don’t wanna be tied down, and I don’t wanna tie you down. I’m… I’m good with it. I don’t wanna put you in a position you don’t wanna be in.”

Dean was silent, his eyes on the floor as he absorbed my words, and I felt a chill settle in my stomach as I waited for him to agree with what I said. His teeth grabbed his bottom lip and his hand left the door as he slowly raised his green eyes to look right at me.

I shivered. It felt like he was looking right into me.

“We’re both idiots,” he confessed quietly, moving to sit on the bed. “Real idjits,” he chuckled. “Bobby would be kicking my ass right now.” His hand sought out mine and the chill in my belly eased. “You’d never tie me down. But this… with the demons… this is my fault -”

"No, it isn’t,” I insisted firmly, scowling at him. “I knew what I was getting into when I continued after Dad died. When I help hunters out. Hell, I’m lucky I went this long without an ass-kicking.”

“Even so, I live a dangerous life,” Dean grunted, his thumb grazing over the back of my hand, leaving tiny threads of electricity that seemed to dance up my arm. “But these days, I’m finding it difficult to see a reason to keep living it.” I tensed at that but he smiled. “Since January… I guess I haven’t found it so hard.”

“Dean?” I asked, the expression of his name light as a breeze, making me sound like some Disney princess with a dark secret to confess.

“Yeah?”

_Take the plunge, Y/N_. It was now or never.

I couldn’t watch him walk away again.

“Just fucking kiss me.”

He smiled, leaning down. “Okay.”


	5. May

** _Reader_ **

It was three days before I felt it start.

Three days of sleeplessness because of the wounds on my back, or knees, or whichever ones decided they were going to hurt more. Of course, the first clue to any heat is being unable to sleep, feeling constantly hungry and thirsty, and feeling the temperature hook up a few notches.

When the cramps started, I wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball on the bed, underneath the blankets, preferably with a massive chocolate gateau. I wouldn’t even need a spoon.

Sometimes, and it was mostly at this time of the month, I seriously hated being an Omega. Beta females didn’t have this agony – they were lucky enough to have regular cycles, and they never had to deal with the sweating and the constant _need_ for sex.

And not just a passing fancy for a good dicking down. I needed cock like I needed air.

Of course, my body was only telling me that I was fertile, that I needed to mate, that I needed an Alpha knot and _fuck_, there were two _fucking_ Alphas in the house, and neither of them would come near me.

Dean tried. The first day, he came in, and my scent knocked him for six. His conversation was disjointed like he was drunk, his pupils blown, and he kept a hand over his crotch the entire time. When Sam knocked and tried to enter the room, Dean practically flew at him, tackling him out of the room and into the den.

After that, Garth was left to bring me anything I needed, since walking was too damn painful.

Bed-rest was still the order of the day, since my injuries were taking time to heal and Castiel hadn’t been answering any form of call. I wasn’t able to do much beyond going to the bathroom and having quick prison-style showers. It wasn’t hard to admit I was becoming frustrated with the entire situation.

Garth did his best to keep me company, and I appreciated that. But it wasn’t what I wanted or needed. With Dean so close, my hormones were going haywire, demanding the attention of the Alpha I truly wanted but the most I could get out of him was when he wandered past the bedroom door. Even on the one occasion I escaped, limping out of my room to the kitchen in search of something really naughty to eat, Dean had bolted the second he saw me, and it had been up to Sam to escort me back to bed.

Sam didn’t have any effect on me. It was odd, really, not that I wanted to think too much into it. And it didn’t appear like he was affected by me in the slightest either. One night, halfway through, when I was struggling to sleep again, I called out for him as he walked by my room, his shadow giving him away.

“Sam?” He stopped at the sound of his name, poking his head through the small gap.

“Yeah?”

“Can I talk to you?”

He nodded, walking inside, checking behind him quickly, just in case Dean saw him. While his brother was being stubborn about his own feelings, he wasn’t happy for me to be around Sam, even if neither of us had any attraction to the other.

“What’s wrong?” he asked; I somehow got the feeling he was expecting a talk about Dean.

“You’re not affected by this.” Sam sighed at my statement, shaking his head. "Why not? I didn’t think it was something you could… you know… ignore.”

“It’s not. When I was younger,” he made it sound like he was fucking ancient, which made me smile, “if I got so much as a whiff of an Omega in heat, I’d… well, I’d be panting like a literal dog.” He grinned, but it was so sad it almost broke my heart. “Then I met Jess. I was young, and I didn’t think beyond the physical really. All I’d had up to that point was a family of Alphas and hunting. I went to college thinking I’d probably bed a few Betas, and then the first week…” His smile was wistful, his eyes glazing over as he remembered. "She was drop dead gorgeous. An art student. Always had her head in the clouds when she was on her own. But when she was with me… I never felt that way about anyone. She knew, of course, she knew straight away.”

“Knew what?”

Sam smiled, looking down at his hands. “That I was hers. And that she was mine.”

I frowned. “You were…?” Easier to let the question hang - he knew what I meant. It just always sounded so corny to say it out loud.

He chuckled. “It’s such a romantic notion. Jess loved it, naturally. She was an artist. The gentlest, kindest, most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I’d have loved her even if she wasn’t an Omega.” He sighed, and I saw tears gathering in the corners of his eyes that made my chest tighten. “We barely had any time together. I wish I’d made the most of it.”

“You never… I mean, wouldn’t you have had kids?”

Sam shook his head. “Jess was on birth control. She wanted to finish college first. But she talked about it all the time. If she hadn’t… if she hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have gone with Dean. I’d have gone back to school, finished becoming what I’d planned. I’d have given Jess all the kids she wanted. I’d have given her the stars if it made her happy." 

The tears were escaping down his cheeks now, and I felt so bad for him, the empathy making me want to cry with him. 

"Ever since I lost her, I’ve never found that feeling again. Someone one told me that you only get one chance at finding your Omega. And I lost mine because I couldn’t protect her. Sure, there have been other people in my life, other lovers… but none like Jess was.”

“So you don’t think you’ll ever find another Omega?”

Sam reached out to take my hand, a gesture of comfort because I knew I was probably looking pretty cut up over his story. My skin was practically boiling under his touch and he frowned, but not from any effect it was having on him. 

“You’re really warm. I’m gonna get you a cold drink.” He stood up before hesitating. “Y/N… don’t let Dean walk away. I know he’s hiding and I know he’s stubborn… but I can’t watch him go through what I’ve been through. Half my life died with Jess. I never recovered from that. I don’t think I ever will. The least I can do is make sure my brother finds his happiness.” His eyes met mine for a split second, his dimples a little more pronounced as he smiled. “And that you find yours.”

I stared as he left, the truth of his words settling heavily in my soul.

Could I really let Dean walk away?

*****

Four days in, and I was unbearably uncomfortable. Garth and Dean had gone out on a supply run, and Sam was mending a broken drainpipe in the backyard, leaving me alone in the house, desperate for some sort of relief.

Creeping out of my temporary room, I managed to sneak upstairs, ignoring the protests from every single part of my body. I’d been begging the boys to let me sleep in my own room with more familiar scents, but they were concerned about me using the less accessible bathroom up there, and after a while, I just relented. Garth was happy on the sofa and both Winchesters were using the bedroom they usually occupied when they stayed.

The bedroom door was shut, and I opened it to darkness, the black out blinds I used still shut tightly. Silently padding across the room, I felt for the side of the bed and located the small lamp, flicking it on.

Immediately, I saw Dean’s face, his head buried in my favorite pillow as he slept fitfully on the bed. The light made him open his eyes, just as I jumped in shock, falling backwards onto my ass, a groan of pain leaving me as I caught every healing injury on the way down.

“Y/N!” he cried out, leaping from the bed, and my brain slowly registered that he was only wearing his boxers. He’d been practically naked in my bed. “Shit, are you okay?”  
  
“Dean, what the fuck are you doing in here?” I demanded, unsure what I was mad about, and if I had the ability to retain the irritation. Very quickly, my hormones were overriding any feelings of anger, and replacing everything with a single thought. 

_Dean’s almost naked. Dean’s almost naked. Dean’s almost naked._  
  
It was like I was sixteen all over again, flicking my bean to a poster of Nick Carter or one of the Jonas brothers.

“I was driving Sam nuts and Garth said he was gonna shoot me,” Dean mumbled, helping me up, checking over my injuries to make sure I hadn’t pulled any stitches. He probably could have just asked, although I wasn’t sure how coherent I’d be. I tried to ignore the tent in his underwear. “Your heat has… it’s making me a little stir crazy.”

I couldn’t help it. My entire body was reacting to his proximity - I was certain there’d be a massive wet patch on the front of my shorts. “There is something we could do about that,” I purred, a little shocked at how slutty I sounded.

Dean went on the offensive, stepping back and releasing my hand. “No. No. Not a good idea.”  
  
“You kissed me the other day!” I protested. “Now you won’t come near me? But it’s okay to sleep in my bed, in my sheets, which I’m fairly certain stink of me.”

“It was… it was comforting.” He backed away, hands raised - he knew he’d encroached on my territory. It was slightly hilarious to be arguing to someone with a boner making an impressive tent in their boxers, but I tried to stifle the giggles along with the inappropriate thoughts. “I was out of the way.”

“I didn’t even think anyone was in the house!” I yelled, desperately clinging to my anger. Dean was blushing bright red, but I wasn’t sure if that was from embarrassment or arousal. He was within touching distance; I _itched_ to physically feel him and it was torture to restrain myself.

“What are you doing up here anyway?” he demanded, turning the tables. I stiffened, not about to admit that there was a sex toy in the top drawer of my dresser than I was intending on using. “You’re not supposed to get out of bed.”

“I’ve been in that bed for over a week. I’m gonna fucking kill someone if… if…”

Dean narrowed his eyes. "If what?”

I sighed, knowing I’d have to own up. “If I don’t get some relief from this -” I gestured to myself. "That isn’t my room and all my… things… are up here.” Were my cheeks on fire? It felt like it. He raised an eyebrow, clearly looking for elaboration. “I have some… toys that help.” The last few words rushed out and Dean’s other eyebrow hit the roof.

“Toys?“ He swallowed, shifting on the balls of his feet. "As in… fake knots and shit they sell for Omegas?” I nodded, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me. Dean moved backwards, his calves hitting the edge of the bed. “I really shouldn’t know that sort of thing.”

“Why not?” I asked, letting out the spite I was feeling. “You’re not gonna do anything to help.”

He had the grace to look hurt by the remark. “I’ve got good reasons for that.”

“Save it.”

There must have been case studies on Omegas murdering for orgasms somewhere.

His hurt expression turned to anger. “Fuck it,” he growled, eyes blazing, “you wanna play with fire?” He stood up again, pointing violently at the bed. “Lay down.”

“What?” Couldn’t say I was expecting that.

“I said, lay down. I’m gonna help you.” His voice was little more than a growl and I sidled around him to scoot onto the bed, suddenly unsure of his intentions. I didn’t lay down, opting to sit with my legs crossed on the bedspread, keeping my eyes on him. “I’m not gonna knot you. But I can help. If that’s all you need.”

“You know what I need, Dean,” I replied quietly and he shook his head with an irritated growl. With a heavy exhale, I motioned to the dresser’s top drawer across the room. “In there.”

Dean bent down, drawing my attention to his cock as it bobbed underneath his boxers, a small patch of wetness on the fabric from his tip. I swallowed hard, feeling my body respond to the sight; my head fell back, mostly so I couldn’t fixate on his dick for a few minutes.

Which was a hefty failure when my brain instantly provided some visuals from my imagination.

“Whoa.” Dean’s voice was quiet, and he stood up with my illicit shoebox in hand. “How many you got?”

“Depends how bad it gets,” I admitted, fixing my eyes on anything but him.

"How bad is it now?” he asked, taking the lid off, and my mouth became dryer than a nun’s vagina. “I mean, do you need this little purple one?” He held up the smallest of the toys, one with a vibrating knot. I shook my head and he grinned, picking up the smooth white one next. This one had a clitoral attachment that usually got me off in about thirty seconds.

Second thoughts started to make me shake and I met his darkened gaze. “Dean… you don’t have to…”

"Quiet.” The simple order made me shiver. An Alpha could utilize a specific tone that would make an Omega feel compelled to obey - in any other instance, I’d tell him fuck off but I wasn’t feeling much inclination to fight back. Dean put the box on the side, keeping the white toy in his hand. “This one will do for now. If you need more, you’ll have to ask nicely.”

_Bastard._

I kept quiet. 

He tugged at my sleep shorts with one hand and I shifted, reclining a little more and stretching my legs out with a wince. “We’re gonna have to take these off without aggravating your wounds.”

“Okay,” I whispered, utterly compliant. Closing my eyes, I lifted my hips off the bed as Dean pulled the shorts down my legs. Instincts warred with each other - half of me wanted to conceal myself from his gaze, and the other half was about three seconds from flinging my legs apart and begging him to fuck me senseless.

He held up my shorts, inspecting the huge wet spot on the front of the crotch. "Someone’s definitely eager.” He growled under his breath and I couldn’t help the pathetic whimpering sound I made.

“Dean… please… I don’t…” Words wouldn’t come and I panted, already too close to the edge to fight anymore.

"You wanna know why I won’t knot you, Y/N?” he asked and I nodded, even though I knew I wouldn’t like the answer. He touched the tip of the toy to my slit and I stiffened, the cool plastic not feeling quite right. Dean didn’t speak as he applied the tiniest amount of pressure to slip the plastic between my pussy lips, allowing an inch or so to penetrate me before pulling back. 

I retracted the ‘_bastard_’ and replaced it with ‘_asshole_’, my entire body quivering with the need for more.

“You’re hurt,” he said quietly; I could feel his hand shaking where he held the toy. Pushing it into me again, he allowed two or so inches before stopping once more. “And that’s my fault.” I opened my mouth to protest, but Dean silenced me by pushing at the toy again, flicking the little button to activate the vibrating rabbit ears as they came into contact with my clit.

The moan that left me was completely involuntary - my hands clenched into fists at my sides, catching some of the covers in my fingers

I wanted to cum. I’d never felt such a bone-deep desire for an orgasm before in my life.

Dean didn’t move.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

It was hell. I was putting myself through hell.

But I had to touch her. Even if just to help her, to ease the symptoms of her heat, I had to do it. Watching her writhe under my hands though, my cock hard in my pants, that toy buried in her slick, warm pussy…it was almost too much. I had to pause, to give myself a minute to breathe before I lost all control.

“I can’t,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “I can’t knot you when you’re hurt, Y/N.”

“D-Dean…” She shuddered and I could almost taste her orgasm. She was so fucking close. A thin sheen of sweat covered her skin; I could feel the heat of her though my hand. She felt like the fucking sun and I wanted to burn.

Biting my lip, I pushed the toy in further, and she cried out. I twisted it a little, watching the changes flutter across her face, the progression of her mouth from an open-mouthed cry to a tiny o-shape when her first climax took her crashing into waves of pleasure, her juices coating the toy and my fingers.

My free hand slid underneath my boxers, and I gripped my cock, pumping it a few times, feeling the knot at the bottom, the tension in my own flesh almost painful. My mind, of course, provided vivid imagery of what it would be like to sink into her, to take her as mine, even though I had no experience of that. I’d never had an Omega.

Never thought I would.

Y/N made a little keening noise and I had to tighten my grip on my cock, almost as if jerking myself off would prevent me from losing control. The hand holding the toy inside her pressed it further in until it would go no more, and her pelvis started to thrust, and I realized she was fucking herself onto the toy. She needed more friction.

With a rough twist, I gave her what she needed, timing the strokes of the toy inside her along to the pace of my hand on my cock. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came but I wouldn’t knot. It didn’t work that way. I’d be left with the same empty feeling I’d had for five months, and Y/N would be just as empty.

"Dean… please… I need… I need…” She couldn’t say it, she was panting and sweating so hard. But I knew what she needed and I flicked the other button on the toy, triggering the fake knot to expand. The toy lodged inside her and she came with a scream, drowning out the grunt I gave as I came into my boxers, staining the front of them with cum, my hand sticky as I released myself.

For a few moments I stayed there with my hand between her legs, watching her body shake, her chest rising and falling in a fast rhythm, and I was almost mesmerized by it. She looked sated… for now.

Slowly, I let go, knowing that removing the toy now would probably only aggravate the situation. It should have been my knot giving her what she needed, not some fake piece of plastic.

But I couldn’t hurt her. Not any more than she’d already been hurt.

"Y/N?” I whispered, wiping my hand on a dry part of my boxers discreetly. Y/N nodded slowly - she was falling asleep. Obviously whatever I’d done here had eased her discomfort for a little while. “I’m gonna go downstairs okay?”

She nodded again but her eyes were shut, her entire body relaxed. I pulled the covers from underneath her, tucking her into the bed, before leaning down and kissing her forehead. She was out cold before I stood straight.

Heading out of the room, and to the bathroom, I fired off a quick text to Sam, letting him know that Y/N was asleep back in her room and I was getting a shower. He’d know something had happened, and I’d be facing question time later, but right now, I needed to ease my own discomfort a little.


	6. June

** _Reader_ **

After the encounter with Dean during my heat, he’d made excuses to leave the house. Although he was still technically staying there, I didn’t see him for the rest of May. Sam had kept up a constant vigil but once the heat was over and I was back on my feet, I told him to go and find a case. 

I was used to being alone and having three men around the house crowding me was a bit much.

Especially when I was head over heels in love with one of them. His actions during my neediest time had only confirmed that feeling - he’d taken care of me, eased that discomfort without taking advantage. 

Any other Alpha (with the exception of Sam) would have lost control. Dean gave me exactly what I needed without compromising his position.

In one way, it was sweet and endearing.

In another, I felt rejected as hell, even if he swore his only reason for not losing control was because I was injured.

Of course, even after I sent them away again, I knew it wouldn’t be long before they were back. I just wasn’t expecting to be the one to make the call this time.

They were in Illinois, so not a million miles away but I still had to try and take care of the problem myself. This was my town, it always had been, even if I lived on the fringes and didn’t partake in community activity. I prided myself on the quiet here, the safety, and having demons in the midst of people I’d known my whole life?

Not on my watch.

So, I found myself hunting through town at midnight, following the omens. Dean had been in contact with Crowley, who’d insisted they weren’t his. Apparently, some rogue factions had split off from Hell’s main quarter and started claiming souls for themselves. They’d already killed four people in town and I was intending they wouldn’t kill any more.

Dean had told me to wait.

I didn’t listen.

Naturally.

An abandoned house, not a mile from my place, had flickering candlelight in the windows. I parked a good few hundred yards away before checking my gun and sliding a machete in the thigh holster I’d made over one long and boring teenage summer. Garth joked it made me look a little bit like Lara Croft, which had made me laugh.

My tits weren’t pointy enough.

Creeping towards the house, I kept myself on full alert. The sounds of sobs and then a high pitched scream, had me hiding in the bushes near the front door as it opened. Light spilled out onto the porch and a tall man with jet black hair stepped out.

“She’s gonna be dead before long if you keep that up,” he drawled as another demon, a woman, stepped out beside him, cleaning her hands of blood with a small towel. “And we need her alive.”

“No, we don’t. All we gotta do is keep killing these itty-bitty town folk until that bitch turns up. We can’t attack her place again. Winchesters might be there. But if we make it look like a random thing, she’ll come after us herself. She’s done it before.”

How long had they been watching me before they’d attacked last time? My throat itched and my fingers automatically went to the thick scar still lingering on my skin, where the demons had unsuccessfully tried to slit my throat.

I was thankful I hadn’t been awake for that part.

The female on the steps laughed. “We’re just taking out their support system. Crowley will thank us when we tell him what we’ve been up to all these months. Make him realize that those goddamn hunters are nothing but a pain.” I scowled. Maybe Crowley wasn’t lying to Dean but these demons were working for him in some way or another. “That stupid bitch was out cold when I smoked out. Made that idiot staying with her think that he’d killed me.”

“Either way, she might be angry enough to beat us if she finds out what you’ve been doing to these people.”

The female demon waved her hand dismissively. A sound from inside the house had her and her companion turning around and I watched them retreat into the house. Stepping from the shadows, I moved around the side into the darkness, intending on gathering intel.

There was at least eight of them scattered throughout the rooms I could see into. Didn’t mean there weren’t more elsewhere. I couldn’t take them by myself, no matter how much I wanted to.

I’d have to wait for Dean.

I knew he’d have my back whatever went down.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

For a second, as I walked into Y/N’s house, I’d actually believed she’d waited for me, finding her sat in the kitchen. But of course, she hadn’t, and she’d been to find out what we were facing.

Sam’s laughter had only worsened my mood.

“You shouldn’t have gone out there.”

“I’m not completely incapable, Dean.” She’d scowled deeply at me and I’d only gotten more pissed. Sam’s hand on my shoulder made me turn on him.

“She’s right, Dean. She did recon and came back. It was smart.”

“She could have been caught.”

“And that’s stopped you when?” Stupid overgrown little brother was right. But I wasn’t going to let him win so easily. I copied Y/N’s scowl and then shook my head.

She was still glaring at me, and I threw my hands in the air in surrender “Fine. So what did you get?”

“There’s at least eight of them. I already called Garth. He’s with some hunter called Brian. They’re on their way.” She opened the fridge, handing me and then Sam a beer. I took it, suppressing the shudder I felt as our fingers connecting for less than a second.

“So we’ve got back up.” Sam said, and she nodded. I grimaced, unsure of the odds still.

“Only one knife.”

“We can make devil’s trap bullets. Five of us, trap them and find out what they want. Although, I think I already know.” Y/N folded her arms over her chest, and I’m not ashamed to admit I admired the way her breasts strained against her tight tank top. “They’re brown nosing. They think killing me, drawing me out, will put you off kilter and allow them to kill you. They think it’ll make Crowley happy.”

Mild irritation turned into full blown rage at the threat to her. I couldn’t give two shits if someone tried to kill me but knowing someone was actively hunting my -

No.

_Don’t do that now. _

“I knew he was behind this,” I growled and Y/N shook her head.

“No. I don’t think he has any idea. These are just…radicalists or something? Killing me won’t do anything. It’ll only make you more dangerous. So they’re stupid to boot.”

“You’re not going,” I said, dropping my beer to the table. “If it’s you they want dead, you aren’t going.”

“Dean -”

"I’m not arguing with you about this,” I snapped, knowing she’d try and fight me. Sam was seconds away from joining her but all I could think about in my mind was her getting hurt again, seeing her covered in too much blood, too many cuts and wounds… but not breathing this time.

It cut me to my core, where I built walls so long ago to protect myself. Cracks had appeared over time, and there were always places where pain existed constantly, but this? Thinking about losing her when she’d never really been mine?

It would break me.

“Dean, I’m not staying here,” she whispered. “I can’t. This is my town. People are dying because of me. I’m not letting you go without me.”

I stepped closer to her, completely forgetting Sam’s presence behind me. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes and knew she might see, but I couldn’t care less. Raising my hand, I cupped her cheek - it was warm, her skin smooth under my palm. “I can’t lose you,” I pleaded, and her eyes went wide at the admission, her pupils black and expanding to wipe out the color. “I can’t…”

“You won’t.” Her words were quiet, barely reassuring, although she held my hand in place against her cheek, leaning into it slightly. “But I can’t stay here, Dean.”

“She’s right,” Sam interjected, and I closed my eyes, hating that this was happening. “She has to come with us. We can’t leave her here alone. Only takes a second for a demon to get across town and do what they came here to do. We take her with us. We protect her. We can be smart about this, Dean.”

“Sam’s got a point,” Y/N said, pulling my hand from her face but keeping hold of it, squeezing gently. I opened my eyes again, looking down at her, still feeling hopeless despite the confidence of both my brother and the smaller Omega in front of me.

I nodded, not willing to speak in case I gave in to the threatening terror inside me. I’d stayed strong and fought the odds my entire life. It wasn’t the first time I’d had a bad feeling about something. It wouldn’t be the last time either. The only thing I could do is go with it.

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

Sometimes it was frustrating that Dean had little to no faith in me or it seemed that way. I knew that he had a lot of baggage from the past and I definitely didn’t have any wish to distract him from the fight at hand. But I wasn’t gonna to sit down and be protected. Okay, I wasn’t a proper hunter and I didn’t like shooting things, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t know how or that I wasn’t good at it. 

These things were taking lives - maybe I found it hard to fight but it was harder to sit back and do nothing.

Dean gave in eventually, and plans were made when Garth and Brian arrived. They’d literally only turned up because I asked, and I was grateful for their assistance. It didn’t stop Dean from grumbling the entire time.

The assault on the house was quick and brutal; the Winchester brothers took the front, killing three demons before I even got through the door. The hostage inside was in a bad way but alive, and Brian quickly freed her before smuggling her out through the fights.

Once all but two of the demons were dispatched and the two left were trapped by carved bullets, Brian and Garth left, taking the survivor to the hospital. To my dismay, there were two mutilated bodies in the house that I discovered - they’d been there a day or so. I never noticed any other captives on my little reconnaissance mission and I immediately felt heavy guilt at their deaths.

Sam had one of the demons in his grasp and was demanding details. He refused to talk but the female I’d seen the night before was turning to jelly in the face of Dean Winchester’s interrogation skills. He had the demon knife to her throat, and she kept glancing to me.

The scar on my neck itched and I scowled as I scratched at it, knowing exactly who she was when she smirked at the action.

“So your plan was to crawl up Crowley’s ass, huh? By killing her?” Dean was seething as he spoke.

“He was distracted!” the demon wailed, ignoring the hissed request to shut up from her comrade. Sam dragged the other demon from the room, and I heard a whispered exorcism, followed by a roar of black smoke. “You and your brother….you’re liabilities. We’re only trying to show the king who his real friends are!”

“We’re not friends with Crowley, you douchebag.” Dean spat, sliding the knife into the demon’s side, prompting her to cry out. “And you tried to kill someone I care about.”

“We knew she was your Omega.” She struggled but it was hopeless, and her black eyes came back to me. “We were… we weren’t going to kill her at first. But then she killed ours, and…”

"And it became revenge?” Dean shook the demon, the knife sliding through her flesh like butter to coax another scream. It was becoming more torture for the pettiness of it rather than information gathering and I was beginning to get uncomfortable.

“Dean -” I slipped my hand over his shoulder, reminding him that I was fine. "Just kill her. We know there aren’t any others.” His eyes moved to me, seeing the scar on my neck once more. “Can we just go home?” I asked; he nodded, ignoring the demon’s cries as he killed her, the body flashing with orange light before dropping to the floor.

Dean turned to me then, his chest heaving, his hand taking hold of mine and squeezing it. “You’re okay?” he murmured, nostrils flaring as he tried to control his emotions.

“I’m fine. No injuries.” I checked him over, seeing no visible wounds. “It went fine. We’re both okay.”

He nodded, inhaling deeply. “I need…” He let out the breath he’d taken and I found myself crushed against his chest, both his hands cradling my face desperately. "I need to get you home.”

“I know. There’s not exactly anything -”

"No.” Dean shook his head, his eyes darkened as he pulled me closer. The hard length of his arousal was pressing into my belly, making me gasp in realization of what exactly he needed. “I can’t fight this anymore, Y/N. I need you.”

“I thought you said -”

His entire body shuddered and he released a breath so ragged, it almost tore through my soul. "Forget what I said. Knowing you’re…” He seemed to be struggling with words. "We need to go.”

Sam appeared in the doorway, and he frowned at Dean’s possessive hold on me. I glanced at him, mildly panicked but shaking my head to tell him it was okay. 

Dean threw him the keys. “You need to drive,” he ordered, his tone giving no leeway for arguing. His hold on my waist didn’t lessen as we followed Sam out to the car and I slid into the backseat with Dean close to me, his face nuzzling at my throat. The movement only made me aware of my own arousal and I groaned quietly, noticing that Sam was breaking a few speed limits to get back to the house.

“I’m gonna grab a motel,” he mumbled, catching my eye in the rearview mirror. Dean didn’t acknowledge the sound of his brother speaking, but I nodded, all too aware that the Alpha pressing himself against me had crossed a line he wouldn’t be going back from and I was jumping right over it with him.

I needed to text Garth and tell him to give the house a wide berth for a few days.

True to his word, Sam left us at the doorstep, speeding off in the Impala without even a word of protest from her owner. He was too busy pulling at my sweater, his hips plastered against mine. "Baby, we need to be inside. Now,” he grunted, rutting into my leg.

I didn’t get a chance to answer him, feeling his thumb press into my crotch through my jeans, managing to find my clit through the fabric. “Fuck, Dean, hold on.” Fumbled with the keys, I finally managed to unlock the door, only to get pushed into the house by the horniest Alpha I’d ever seen.

Dean nipped at my neck, pressing me against the nearest hard surface, which happened to be a wall. I reached out to shut the door, managing to knock over a table with a vase on it at the same time. Water splashed onto the floor but I didn’t have time to think as Dean pulled me with him along the hallway, straight into the room I used when I was hurt.

“What about my room?” I whispered, not wanting to break the atmosphere with loud noises. Dean shook his head.

“Need you now. We can go up there later but…. fuck, now, Y/N.” He pulled at my jeans, and I grabbed his hands, attempting to slow him a little.

“Dean, calm down!” I pleaded, giving him pause, his flushed cheeks darkening as his eyes met mine. The green was almost obliterated by his pupils and he was panting heavily. “Shit. You’re in rut.”

“Don’t give a fuck,” he said.

“Well I do!” Pushing him back, I allowed my indignation to overrule my arousal and glared at him. He was a mess; sweating hard enough that his hair was plastered to his skin, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I could be any piece of tail right now and you’d be like this.” Hurt flooded my emotions, causing a physical pain in my chest. I shook my head, pushing him away again as he tried to reach out to me. “No.”

“Y/N, please. Please, don’t leave me.”

“I’m not leaving. But you just want to fuck. That’s all. I’m not gonna be used.”

“I’d never use you,” he begged and I let him grasp my hands. “You know why I’m in rut?” he asked and I shook my head, unsure what was going on with him. “Because you were in danger. Maybe not bad danger but you… you got hurt. And then I helped with your… your heat and ever since… fuck, I can’t get the smell of you out of my head. The taste of you on my fingers." 

He pulled me closer, surrounding me with his arms and I didn’t resist. His scent was thicker and richer than it had been before and the things he was saying were only serving to reignite the fire in my belly.

"I had to fucking jerk off in the shower about a thousand times because I dared stick my fingers in my mouth after they’d barely touched your pussy.”

“Dean…” Shit, I sounded as wrecked as I felt. Dean pressed himself against me like we couldn’t be close enough, his lips seeking mine out for a deep kiss that was over too soon. "I don’t -” I wasn’t even close to in heat but I was slick for him, I could feel it; my entire body vibrating with him so close.

He was shaking too, his fingers unsure where to settle on my skin. I didn’t care, so long as he didn’t stop touching me. "I’m in rut for my mate,” he growled, the sound low in his throat, becoming almost indistinguishable as words. “My Omega.”

I couldn’t fight it anymore. Had I even tried? “Alpha.” The word sounded like permission to me and obviously did to him too. The sheer exhaustion of fighting it for so long was mind numbing, possibly for both of us, and the relief of realizing what the universe had been trying to tell me was almost too much. Dean’s presence settled against me and I held onto him like my life depended on it.

“Need you now, baby. So bad.” His teeth grazed my throat as he pulled my pants undone, roughly thrusting a hand into my underwear, seeking out his prize. When he found my clit, slippery slick under his fingertips, I forced a whine from my mouth, loud enough to let him know that he was definitely in the right place.

“You don’t…Dean, just please, I need you.”

Foreplay seemed like a chore after months of dancing around this. I just wanted him inside me.

“And I need to make sure I don’t hurt you,” he exhaled, the words a rush. As much as he wanted me, he wanted to not hurt me more - I wasn’t going to begrudge him that. My pants pooled around my ankles and Dean guided me back towards the bed, pushing me backward gently until I was flat on my back with my legs hanging over the edge.

I wanted to complain that he was wearing too many clothes but then his hands were spreading my thighs and I forgot how to speak.

The first touch of his tongue against my clit sent me spiraling but not quite to orgasm. It was sensitive as hell down there and it wouldn’t take long but Dean was insistent on doing a thorough job - I wasn’t about to stop him. For a few seconds, he paid agonizingly close attention to my clit, his tongue applying just the right amount of pressure to have me biting my lower lip to hold back the literal gush I could feel burning in my stomach.

He trailed downwards, thrusting his tongue in and out of my hole, then burying his face in my cunt, fucking me with his mouth. I arched, clutching the blankets as I cried out, begging for more, and Dean obliged. One finger penetrated me, pressing up against my inner wall and I was completely fucking lost.

It felt like he was exploring me, teasing out all the little reactions for later use and by the time he added a second finger, stretching me out, I was already gone. I repeated his name like a prayer, reaching down to grab at his short hair, desperate to reach that peak over and over. When I finally came down, I needed a second to catch my breath, but that didn’t stop me whining in protest when he pulled his fingers free of my body.

Somehow, he’d managed to remove his pants without me even noticing. Dean flashed me a grin, sucking his digits clean - I couldn’t tear my eyes off of the action.

Both of us moved like a firecracker had gone off, stripping down the remainder of our clothes before meeting again with a searing kiss. I didn’t bother complaining when he practically scooped me up to drop me into the middle of the bed, covering my body with his.

I forgot how goddamn big and strong he was at times.

“Dean -” I started before finding myself with a mouthful of Winchester. It took both my hands on his shoulders to push him back so I could beg in a pathetically broken voice: "I’m ready. Please.”

His cock nudged at my thigh, making my insides clench with anticipation. I couldn’t help biting at his chest and neck, desperate to mark him, which made his dick twitch against me. It wasn’t like he didn’t return the favor, meeting me mark for mark.

“You wanna be on top or bottom?” I could barely get the question out through my panting, trying to focus with his shaft grinding into my sex.  
  
“I wanna be on top.” He pressed into me, letting his cock slide through my folds. My vision tinged with black when my eyes fluttered closed at the way the tip caught inside me, teasing the thick rim of his cockhead. “Wanna kiss you when I knot you, sweetheart.”

I managed a mumbled ‘_fuck_’. How could he be romantic when he was about to fuck me into the mattress? Was it some unique talent he’d picked up somewhere? “Dean just…”

"Yeah, I got ya.” He grabbed my hips with a bruising touch, pulling me down the bed a little way. Moving closer, Dean’s hips forced his cock flush against my pussy lips and I arched, trying to get what I wanted. His tongue thrust into my mouth, silencing my cry when he finally started to push inside. When his cock was fully sheathed inside me, he pulled his head back, sweat dripping from his skin to mix with mine.

The sound I made was vaguely skin to “Oh fuck….”

“You curse a lot,” he pointed out; I scowled, hitting him in the shoulder.

“Way to kill the mood,” I snapped playfully - he only shrugged with a wide shit-eating grin.

“I’m trying to distract myself,” he admitted, lowering his mouth to mine again. “You’re so fucking hot and wet… I might not last long.”

I’d gone into this with very low expectations of sex. It wasn’t like my love life had a stellar history. “Isn’t it supposed to be like that the first time?”

Dean raised an eyebrow at the question, his cheeks still bright red. “I don’t wanna be a disappointment,” he murmured, rubbing the tip of his nose against mine and I couldn’t help but giggle.

“After the way you just licked me out?” The vibrations of my laughter made him groan, his jaw clenching as he tried to keep control. “Not possible.” I moved my hands to the small of his back, pulling him closer, rocking my own hips to try and get him to do _anything_. “Dean, just knot me. Please.”

The last whispered word seemed to set him off. Dean growled, covering my mouth with his, his hips moving at a hard and steady pace, withdrawing almost all of the way before slamming back in. With each stroke, I couldn’t help but squeak, feeling his tip find its mark every time, making me almost incoherent as I started to cum. 

Dean’s cock swelled, his knot slowly restricting his movements until he gave in, shuddering his release into me.

I’d felt guys cum before. It wouldn’t be a long shot to say I enjoyed it, which was why I’d always stayed on birth control. But an Alpha? Specifically, an Alpha like Dean?

I had never felt anything like it. The toys were a poor substitute for the real thing filling me to the brim with cum, his knot tying us together. His teeth found my shoulder and bit hard, enough to slightly break the skin and I cried out as pain tinged my pleasure in a really, _really_ good way.  
  
“Shit, Y/N,” he panted, pulling back a little to look down at me. I smiled dopily back, hormones lulling me into that beautiful little haze that always came after amazing sex. My skin was just as sweaty as his and both of us were breathing heavily. “I had no choice. Couldn’t keep control.”

“Practice makes perfect,” I grinned, running a hand through his mussed up hair, “and we’ve got all night.”


	7. June (Continued)

** _Reader_ **

There were several things I noticed about Dean as the weeks drew on with him and Sam taking up a sort of semi-residence in my house, leaving occasionally to hunt or return to their bunker. The younger Winchester had been sleeping in the room he and Dean used to share when they stayed while Dean had practically moved into my room.

The first thing I noticed was his unwillingness to leave my side. After bonding, the first week was pretty much food, showering and copious amounts of time being lost in a tangle of limbs and bedsheets. Normally, being with someone twenty four hours a day, seven days a week could become overbearing quickly but Dean was adorably possessive even though he knew when to back off and give me some personal time.

Not that I was too fussed about having personal time lately. I was quite happy to be by his side, ignoring the outside world in favor of imprinting every inch of my Alpha onto my memory, while he did the same to me. Within three days, I cataloged every scar on him and by the end of the week, I could describe him in perfect detail to anyone who asked, down to the freckles on his nose.

The second thing I became aware of was his sleeping habits. Years of sleeping in shared beds with his brother or his father, and he’d become very accustomed to keeping to his own space. With me around, I guess I thought that might change but Dean wasn’t much for hugging or spooning; after about ten minutes, he’d kiss me on the nose, wish me goodnight and then roll over. 

But he’d never stay put. 

He moved, often ending up with his hand possessively placed on my ass, almost like he was just checking I was still there and proclaiming to the world that I was his.

It made me smile the first time I noticed and when I pointed it out to him, he’d gone bright red and run to the shower.

Dean didn’t like to show weakness. This was a part of his personality that I’d seen before, and prepared myself for, as much as I could. Except around me, the walls crumbled and there wasn’t a single part of himself that he didn’t share. It was so easy to open up to him in return and in those small sections of time where neither of us had the energy to move, when the covers had been thrown to the floor as we enjoyed the warmth of each other, we talked about growing up. Me, I talked about seeing hunting from the outskirts of the life. He told me about his life before, what he remembered of his mother and things he’d possibly never uttered to another human being.

Sam spent a lot of time avoiding the both of us and I couldn’t blame him. He was being reminded of what he’d lost and while he insisted that he was happy for his brother, that he wanted nothing but the best for him, we both acknowledged this was haunting him.

Mentioning it to Dean one night in bed had made him silent, and after a long while, he’d finally spoken, holding me close with my head tucked under his chin as he talked.

“I can’t imagine what Sammy is going through,” he admitted. “I couldn’t…just the thought of losing you after so little time hurts. How he manages that ache after so long…” He trailed off then, preferring to show me with actions rather than words.

The month rolled along with a sudden unseasonable heatwave, the sun beating down on the ground relentlessly, the grass turning yellow within a few days. When the mercury was practically boiling, on an early June afternoon, Dean had pulled me from the bed, stirring me from a long sleep.

"What are you doing?” I asked, sleepily grinning at him, and he returned the expression, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We’re taking a shower,” he informed me, pointing towards the bathroom, and my eyes widened.

“Dean, it’s the middle of the afternoon.”

“And?” He laughed at my distress before using his grip on my arm to propel me towards him, pressing against me gently, his excitement already in evidence against my belly. My own arousal seemed to be in a constant state of hyperactivity. “It’s too hot,” he muttered, running his lips along his jaw. “And I’ve got an entire day with Sammy in Baby to look forward to.”

“I forgot you were leaving for a hunt.” I pouted, allowing him to guide me from the bed and into the bathroom. Stepping into the cubicle, he slapped his hand to my already naked ass, squeezing gently on impact. I shrieked and turned the water on, letting the spray hit the both of us, leaving the temperature on low but not freezing.

“I can’t get over how damn lucky I am,” he whispered, in a tone that made me smile and push my ass back into his crotch. Kissing a path down my neck, he pressed his chest to my back. I moaned, tipping my head back under the spray so it hit my throat, cascading over my bare breasts. It was relieving in the heat of summer and one of Dean’s better ideas.

His last thought of using Nutella in a sexy way hadn’t been so great.

His lips caressed down the line of my backbone, leaving shivers in their wake, until he was kneeling in the shower cubicle, his hands cupping my ass and massaging. I held my hands out, palms against the cool tile as he pushed gently on my lower back, making me bend over so I was exposed to him.

“Seriously…you’re fucking beautiful,” he breathed, nuzzling his nose against me.

“Dean, shut up,” I hummed against the tile, leaning my forehead into the chilly surface. “You’re blind.”

“Twenty twenty vision, baby.” His hand slid from my ass around to cup my sex, his index finger teasing at the top of my folds to stroke my clit from behind. I couldn’t help but moan and arch a little more, giving him better access.

I wondered yesterday why I hadn’t gone into heat yet. A little Google search had shown that my body was already getting what it needed and I didn’t need that helpful little push towards finding a mate. Apparently one of the perks of having an Alpha was that heats would never be as bad as they were again and while I would still have them, they’d be simply an excessive need to have him with me rather than a full blown, humping-the-bedsheets desperation.

Dean’s tongue teased at my hole and I gasped, the simple touch wiping my mind of all coherent thought. Leaning forward, he buried his face in my pussy, feasting on me while using his spare hand to hold me steady, knowing I was likely to collapse when he brought me to the brink. I briefly pondered how he could hold his breath for so long, with his face drenched in the water from the shower, as well as being pressed between my thighs.

“Come for me, baby,” he muttered, pulling back a little before redoubling his efforts, his tongue providing an effective rhythm as his fingers rubbed around my sensitive clit. I cried out, bracing myself against the wall as I rode out my high on his talented mouth.

When I was done, he stood up, cock jutting out proudly from his body. I panted heavily, turning to face him, wrapping my hand around his thick shaft.

“Turnabout is fair play,” I teased, dropping to my knees in the water, not giving him a second of warning before I engulfed his cock with my mouth. The clean taste of water mixed with the saltiness of his precum; Dean yelped, clinging to the top of the shower door while I went to town on him, bobbing enthusiastically. I couldn’t help noticing how he angled his body to stop the water showering over me. My ability to hold my breath was nowhere as good as his, but I could manage well enough to get him begging for release.

Swirling my tongue underneath his length, I pressed it into the veins that ran along his cock and he grit his teeth, his jaw ticking as I kept up the pace. His knuckles were white where he held onto the shower, his head arched back as the sensation of my mouth drove him crazy.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m not gonna last, I can’t…. fuck…. fuck….”

One of the things I love most about Dean is when he curses. He sounds so filthy and decadent when he does; I make it a game to see how many times and variations I could get out of him. Apparently ‘_fuck_’ was the curse word of the day.

Hell, he practically screamed it as he came down my throat, his hand leaving the wall to tangle in my wet hair almost painfully, hips jerking the last vestiges of his orgasm into my mouth. Before I let go, I scraped my teeth over the small swell of his knot and he hissed, pulling me up roughly to kiss me hard. “You wait until later,” he promised. “I’m going to fuck you until you’re seeing stars.”

“I already do,” I replied cheekily, kissing him again.

The shower finished with Dean washing my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp decadently, and I lost myself in just feeling him for a few moments. It wasn’t a particularly erotic act but it was intimate enough to leave me as nothing more than a pile of mush.

Between kisses, we dried up and got back into bed, feeling much cooler thanks to the shower. Curling into the thin sheets, I felt his hand lay on my ass, fingers spreading to try and cover as much surface area as possible. 

I was pretty sure I fell asleep smiling.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

I loved waking up next to her. Seeing her hair fanned out over the pillow, the warmth of her skin filling the bed…I’d seen heaven and it was nowhere near this good.

When she’d pointed out that I tended to lay a hand on her ass when she slept, I brushed it off. But then I’d keep waking up, finding my hand in the same place. I’ve never been into cuddling, preferring my own space but feeling her by my side? I guess I needed reassurance that this was real – that I could be this happy without anything going wrong.

It haunted me. The possibility of the future, the worry that something was going to happen and take her from me. There were two ways the future could go - we could live out our lives happy, hunting without anyone getting hurt, white picket fence and kids, a puppy for Sam or whatever bliss came along. I’d have to paint the fence outside Y/N’s house because it was currently a weather-worn grey, but fuck it, whatever you have to do right?

Or the future didn’t happen.

My curse hits again.

After over thirty years of being a hell bound pessimist, it was difficult to keep myself focused on the lighter side of life. Even if it was easier when I could forget the world and hunting existed and that was damn easy when I was rolling my girl in the sheets, making her scream my name like some sort of heavenly prayer.

It didn’t stop me waiting for the other shoe to drop. Sam kept telling me to relax. I was basically living on the ‘fake it til you make it’ motto. I was happy, I had never been happier, but being a Winchester wasn’t the key to an easy life.

Something was coming.

Something was always coming

June was relentlessly hot and by the second week, I had the idea for a cold shower. Of course, I knew it wouldn’t be such a great idea to knot her in there, one of the downsides to being an Alpha. At the moment, every time I took her I couldn’t stop myself, probably because it was all so damn new, but I’d take the second best option, which was making her cum screaming on my tongue. I love the sounds she made, from that little whimper when I’m just teasing her, to the full of scream of my name when I pushed her over the edge, watching her entire body shake with the intensity of her orgasm.

She was beautiful when she came. Even more so than when she was sleeping next to me.

I could die happy right now.

After the first time we showered together, I’d put on a film, knowing it would be a while before I was ready to go again, and knowing she must be sore after the copious amounts of sex we’d been having. I was due to leave for a hunt with Sam soon, a werewolf pack ten hours away, and I didn’t want to go, but it wasn’t like I could drop the job. Y/N understood that, thankfully, even if I was struggling to accept it myself.

I was gonna make sure she knew she was mine before I left, that she knew I was hers too. This was equal to me. Fuck all that social hierarchy shit. I wasn’t any better than her because I was an Alpha; I was less if anything. I wasn’t worthy of her. I was so damn lucky that she even glanced at me.

Waking her up gently, when the film had finished and she was snoozing, curled up into my side, she wiped her mouth for non-existent drool before smiling at me sleepily.

“Dean?”

“I gotta go soon, sweetheart,” I whispered and she nodded sadly, her fingers curling around my arm. “But I wanted to…” I didn’t even need to finish the sentence as she climbed over my body, rubbing herself against me. She slept naked, as did I, and it made for easier access when the need was fresh like this.

"Dean…” She whimpered, thrusting her tongue into my mouth, pinning my arms with her hands as she ground her hips into me. My cock was harder than steel, twitching against the length of her wet slit, desperate to be inside her as she moved on top of me, breaking the kiss to sit up.

I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, looking up at her. "Ride me, Y/N. Wanna watch you.” She nodded, raising her hips so that the tip of my dick slid inside her, and slowly she sat back, groaning as I bottomed out, stretching her again, before starting to move. I let her have full control, my hands roaming from her thighs up to her breasts, tweaking her nipples as she gyrated her hips to get herself off on my cock.

I rocked a little, trying to help her, but she tisked at me, using her hands to place mine fully over her breasts, encouraging me to knead them with my fingers as she groaned and rode me like a prized fucking stallion. I could feel her walls fluttering around me as she approached her peak, her pace quickening until she tightened and came hard, her fingers digging into my hands as she threw her head back and closed her eyes.

It was amazing to see her like this. She was so fucking beautiful. I could worship her if she’d let me, but I knew she wasn’t that type of girl. I would have to settle for admiring the curve of her hip into her waist, the small amount of puppy fat that she hated and I loved around her midriff. She’d often complain about the size of her thighs but I’d shush her, because feeling those legs clamped around me was better than anything I’d ever feel. The way the line of her neck sloped down to her tits, and the scattered tan lines from where she spent the summer months wearing little vests and no sunscreen.

I didn’t deserve it.

She collapsed forward as she finished, and I considered flipping her over and fucking her til she couldn’t walk straight. Instead, I held her close, blessing her skin with peppered kisses as I continued to move inside her, letting her relax. She moaned into my chest, raising her head to kiss my lips, but I held her tightly, feeling my own orgasm stir at the closeness of her touch.

“Dean….” Her voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear her. “I love you.”

It wasn’t the first time she’d said it.

I wasn’t sure how to reply.

I loved her. There wasn’t any way I couldn’t love her. But I struggled to say the words. Saying it out loud meant it was real, meant the world knew it and that meant the world could take it away and I didn’t want to lose her because I couldn’t control myself. I never wanted to lose her.

She knew it. She knew I couldn’t say it.

She accepted it and I only loved her more.

With a grunt, I came hard, my knot swelling and pulsing inside her as I filled her with hot spunk, and she cried out, clinging to me, her body slick with sweat as we rode out our mutual orgasms. My lips pressed to her forehead and my eyes closed and I wished so hard that I didn’t have to leave her side.

By midnight, I was watching her house get smaller in the rear view mirror, and I knew I’d left part of myself behind for a stupid hunt. Sam knew it too, and kept quiet in the passenger seat.

I’d be home soon.


	8. July

** _Reader_ **

Dean returned quickly from his hunt - Sam complained they may not have made it back alive if he’d carried on abusing Baby’s gas pedal. The older Winchester had brushed it off and taken me straight upstairs, ignoring his brother’s moaning.

It was nice, having him home again, close again. Despite it being less than four days since I’d last seen him, everything was so new, so fresh, it was a relief to be with him. Dean felt it too and it wasn’t long before he had me naked and screaming his name on the bed. I heard the front door slam at some point and felt badly for Sam.

But then Dean made me forget everything but his name again and it wasn’t long before we were both asleep in post-coital bliss, Dean’s hand on my ass where it belonged.

July came, hotter than June had even thought of being, and as the weeks rolled by, the Winchester brothers and I fell into a comfortable routine. Garth was around more often than not, and we (being me and Dean) tried to keep our public displays of affection to a minimum around Sam. He constantly said he didn’t mind, but we knew it would remind him of everything he’d lost.

I wished he could find someone to try and ease that pain.

It was coming up to mid-July when Dean and Sam had to go four states over for a case. I’d pouted, hating that he was going so far, but not standing in his way. This was the life, this was the way it went, and while it scared me every single time, I knew he’d come back to me.

He told me enough.

I gave him something to live for.

Two weeks was a long stretch without Dean, but I wasn’t due a heat and Garth was staying, not at Dean’s insistence in the slightest. I’d have company and there were a few research issues that were needed for other hunters around the States. Garth had taken to doing Bobby’s job, and he was using my house as home base a lot of the time. I quite frequently heard him answering calls, pretending to be an FBI agent, or head of department or something else, and his professionalism made me smile. He was such a sweet guy and took his work so seriously.

The night before Dean left, he’d asked if I’d go out with him, and I was hesitant at first. He booked a table at a restaurant in town, and I was very reluctant, knowing the small community would gossip. But eventually, he’d convinced me, even getting me to put on that little black dress I had bought in an internet sale forever ago and never worn.

As I walked down the staircase, Dean was standing at the bottom, wearing his best black button down, freshly ironed if I wasn’t mistaken. Clean boots adorned his feet for a change although I could see the scuffs that indicated he’d just polished his usual size elevens. He’d done something with his hair and had a shave, and I smiled, running my hand down his smooth cheek as soon as I was within reach.

“I think I preferred the scruff,” I commented and he shrugged.

“It’ll grow back soon enough,” he muttered, smiling and catching my hand on his jaw, sliding my palm to his lips for a soft kiss. “I’ll have a five o'clock shadow by the time the night is out.” His grin was wide and his arm slipped around my waist to pull me in for a proper kiss. It held all the promise of the night to come and I shivered, resisting the urge to just pull him back up the stairs.

A flash made us break apart and we both glared over at Garth in the doorway, a Polaroid camera in his hands, and a goofy smile on his face. “Sorry, I just had to capture the moment. You two are the sweetest, ya know that?”

“Shut up, Garth.” Dean growled, and I slapped his shoulder.

“It’s nice. I like photos. Proper ones, not all the crap you upload to Instagram.”

“Insta-what?” Dean asked, frowning as Garth snapped another photo, pulling the slip of paper from the camera to shake it as it developed.

An idea struck me, my fingers tightening on Dean’s elbow. “Can we get a nice one? Where we’re not eating face or making faces?” I asked and Dean rolled his eyes before he nodded, turning to face Garth, his arm hooked around my waist and my cheek laid on his shoulder. Garth was more than happy to play cameraman for a few more seconds, and snapped us, pulling the photo out and shaking it.

He held it up and smiled as I snatched it from his hands eagerly enough that he chuckled. “You look adorable.”

Dean grumbled in protest at the choice of description but I barely acknowledged it, staring at the photo with a grin. He peered over my shoulder, making a noise of agreement in his throat. “We do make a pretty hot couple,” he muttered, before taking the photo from me and tilting my chin upwards with one finger. “We’re gonna miss our reservations.”

“Okay. Put this somewhere safe, Garth.” I took the photo back from Dean and handed it to the other hunter with a smile. “We’ll see you in the morning.”

“Not a worry. You two have fun!”

*****

“This is weird,” I said quietly, spooning a forkful of lasagna into my mouth. I was convinced everyone was watching us but Dean just laughed at me and quietly picked at his fries. “I’ve never eaten in here before. I know half these people.”

“They don’t care that you’re here, Y/N.”

“What if they do? Everyone gossips in this town. I’m the unmated Omega from outside of the town limits. The weird one that has people turning up covered in blood at her house all the time.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, reaching across the table to take my hand; the comforting gesture worked and I smiled. “You’re not unmated anymore, are you sweetheart?”

“No. No, I’m not.”

He smirked, letting go of my hand to spear his steak, chowing down on it with great enthusiasm. “I tell you what though, this steak is awesome. I’m surprised you’ve never been here.”

I shrugged, pushing a piece of ground beef across my plate. “I don’t spend a whole lot of time in town. I get what I need and leave.” A shudder ran through me when I recalled the moments I’d spent more time among people than I liked. “Having to go to school here was a nightmare. With what my dad did…” I shook my head, trying to suppress those horrible memories of high school. "I was always the freak with the knife collection.” Dean froze, his fork hitting the plate, making me look up with a frown. “What?”

For a second, he was silent and I panicked internally, worried I’d said something wrong. “Nothing,” he finally sighed, picking up his cutlery again. “Just… I knew someone else that said that once. She was a lot like you. Brave. Stupid in the end.”

Was he insulting me? I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, so I kept my cool, cutting up another piece of my meal. “What do you mean?” I asked, shoveling the food in. It was pretty good - nice not to have cooked my own dinner for a change.

Dean didn’t look me in the eye as he spoke, slicing a neat line through the last piece of his steak. “She followed me into a fight I knew we wouldn’t win. Got herself ripped apart by a hellhound. My fault.”

He’d told me this one. Not in much detail, but I’d known Ellen Harvelle for a time when I was small. Bill and my dad had been friends once. “Jo,” I whispered and he nodded. “You’re talking about Jo Harvelle.” He didn’t speak again but I felt compelled to. “I knew her. A little. Both hunters kids. We talked some, back in the day. I heard when she died and…” The breath I took was shuddering, filling my lungs with tasteless oxygen that only seemed to stimulate the tears gathering in my eyes. 

“Dean, it wasn’t your fault. She chose to go into that fight. She was doing it for the right reasons.” I reached out, offering my hand as he had done moments ago. “You can’t keep blaming yourself for all the things that happened in the past.”

He didn’t reply, pushing his plate back, before squeezing my hand gently. “You see too much good in me, Y/N.”

“You don’t see enough,” I replied simply, shrugging at him, before leaning forward to change the subject. “How about we get the dessert to go?”

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

I don’t know how she brings it out of me, but Y/N has this way of…making me feel like I’m not at fault any more. She makes me a better person. Which makes me feel worse somehow because I’m dragging her down. I’m not worthy of her. Never will be.

I’m lucky enough that she doesn’t believe that. And selfish enough to stay.

Her suggestion of getting dessert to go was the best thing she could have said at the moment. Sometimes, when I’m sad, being with her…being intimate with her makes it better, as bad as that sounds. Right now, all I wanted to do was be wrapped up in my Omega’s arms, safe from the world. Everyone always says that the Alpha is the protective one, that the Alpha is the strongest…but she’s so much stronger than me. She’s my safe-house. Without her…fuck, I’d have nothing to live for at this rate.

I’d always have Sam, but it’s different. He knows that.

Baby wasn’t going fast enough as Y/N nibbled on my ear from the passenger seat, her heat palpable in the car. My cock was straining against the buttons of my dress pants, and I was half ready to park the car up and take her right there.

Back seat wasn’t the most comfortable place to be stuck in a knot though, and I didn’t want that for her. Despite the warm night, I wanted her in her - our - bed, safe and cosy.

When we eventually pulled up to the driveway of her house, I couldn’t get her out of the car quick enough. I scooped her up in my arms, carrying her bridal style over the threshold and up to the bedroom. She’s tell me later on that it was romantic, and I’d reply that I’d do it again when we were properly married. I’d never see shock on her face like that.

But I did want to marry her. Hell, I’d already mated her, so marriage was the next logical step. We’d worry about what came next later on.

At that point, all I cared about was losing myself in her and letting her do the same.

She was already wet when I pulled that little dress off her body, her panties soaked through with slick. She was handsy too, grabbing at my shirt, breaking a few buttons in her eagerness to remove it from my body. Not that I was going to complain; it was sexy as hell when she was demanding like that.

We skipped the foreplay, neither of us in the mood to do anything but fuck, and she screamed when I pushed into her wet cunt, her mouth forming a perfect “o” of pleasure. I wasn’t even sure I could last more than five seconds, the way she was bearing down on me, squeezing my cock with her walls.

Within moments, I’d brought her off, my lips swallowing down her cries of pleasure as I kept rocking into her, my thumb teasing her clit. I love making her come, watching her writhe underneath me. Or on top. I had no preference as long as it was always her. She was beautiful when she lost control.

“Y/N.” I gasped, feeling my own climax approaching and I pounded into her harder, desperate for those last moments of friction before my cock swelled and I wasn’t able to move. I still hadn’t gotten used to the sensation of that happening – she was the first and last Omega I’d ever knot – but fuck, it felt good to be so connected to someone I loved.

Y/N came again as I did, clutching at my shoulders, leaving nail marks on my skin, and I took everything she had to give, biting at her neck, hard enough to leave marks. It only made her whimper more, and when I was finally finished pumping into her, she relaxed, letting me roll with her and pull her into my arms.

I had to leave in the morning.

And there was a pit of dread in my stomach.

“I love you.” I whispered, knowing she was already asleep.

I’m such a fucking coward.

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

He was coming home early. Another six hours and he’d be home, and I couldn’t wait. I was practically bouncing with excitement at the news I had to share with him.

Garth had popped out to get some supplies for dinner, and he was just as happy to have the guys home. He didn’t quite know why I was so excited, or why I’d cleaned the house from top to bottom, seeing as neither Dean nor Sam gave a flying fuck about that sort of thing but he wasn’t going to argue with it. The only reason I hadn’t said anything was because I wanted Dean to be the first to know, so you could guess what my news was.

At about four in the afternoon, there was a knock at the door I wasn’t expecting - both the Winchesters and Garth had keys. Unless Garth was carrying so much he couldn’t unlock the door. Skipping over to it, I opened it, pausing when I saw a brunette woman I didn’t recognize on the other side.

She smiled sweetly. “Hi. Y/N, right?” Her accent was crisp and more European than American.

Call me xenophobic but we don’t get a whole lot of tourists around here. And this woman was very… clean. “Yeah. Can I help you?” I probably sounded so suspicious.

I really should learn to listen to my instincts, I suppose.

“I’m a friend of Dean and Sam’s. Hunters.” I looked her over again. She wasn’t dressed like a hunter - in fact, she looked more like she was into selling real estate. “I’m a clairvoyant, honey, I don’t get my hands dirty." 

Knowing a few psychics myself, I could accept that explanation, but it didn’t mean I trusted her. Not all psychics were good people. 

"I’ve got some information for them and the grapevine suggested he might be here? With you?” The way she said it made my insides curl.

Mostly, I wanted to know why people were talking about me. I hated it when people assumed my business, like any hunter, I was private as hell. “Grapevine?”

She laughed, not an unpleasant sound and I relaxed a little, the noise almost calming. In hindsight, I probably should have picked up even more of the wrongness of the woman. “Oh sweetheart, when Dean Winchester is in love, the cosmos knows it. And I knew it too. Besides, every hunter points to you as a safehouse. You’re quite the well known party.”

“That’s probably not a good thing,” I muttered, opening the door a little wider, against my better judgement. People of the extra-sensory persuasion were usual creepy as hell; maybe I was just being paranoid. “Well, if you’re as up on the information as you say you are, you won’t mind going through the usual drill.”

She nodded, her saccharine smile still firmly in place. “Of course not.”

Reaching behind the door, I picked up a vial of holy water kept there for this very reason and she held out her arm. I splashed her with the water, satisfied with the lack of steam when it hit her skin. “You can come in but I’ve got more than enough weapons and I will use them.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Not here to hurt you.” If her smile got any wider, I was worried her head would split open. “I’m Natalia, by the way.”

“Y/N,” I replied, frowning at myself when I realized she already knew my name so I didn’t know why I offered it. Natalia walked into the house, her pursed clutched delicately in one hand. “But…you already knew that. Can I get you a coffee or anything?” I closed the door and she fixed that too-wide grin right back on me.

“That would be lovely. I’m assuming Dean’s not going to be long then?” she asked, following me through into the kitchen.

“No, he’s on his way home.” Was I blushing? The simple thought of this being Dean’s actual home made my throat tighten. “Should be back soon. He doesn’t tend to hang around on cases any more.”

Natalia smiled warmly. “Ah, the bonded Alpha male. They’re sweet, aren’t they?”

I grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and placed them on the side, beaming at her comment. “Yeah. Dean’s a bit of a softy underneath all that bravado. So -” Everything felt a touch warmer, like someone had filled my head with cotton candy. Maybe it was the chocolate granola bar I’d grabbed for breakfast? "What was the information you had?”

“It’s about that monster he was fighting a while ago. It had company and I know where to find them.” She seemed legit, I had to say that. And she’d certainly worked my defenses right down. “We need to get the boys to take out the other parties before they try and finish what the original started.”

“Oh right.” I didn’t have a goddamn clue what she was talking about. It didn’t seem too important though, when I didn’t know whether she took sugar in her coffee and I always liked to be a good host. “Well, that’s good then, that you knew that.” Pouring the hot coffee into the two cups, I stopped, realizing that I couldn’t actually friggin’ drink it. “Sugar?”

“One, please.”

I stirred in the sweetener, before handing her the drink, pushing my own to the back of the counter.

Natalia noticed the action, tilted her head as she accepted the coffee from me. “Are you not having one?”

“No…er….I gave up,” I replied, thinking quickly. “Keep forgetting I’m supposed to be avoiding caffeine. Sinus issue.” A knowing look passed over her face as I rambled on but I ignored it. It wasn’t her business, so she could let it go.

“I’ve been meaning to. Sometimes I can’t function without it though!” That tittering laugh was just as pleasant as the first time, and for a second, I could have sworn my vision was tinged with pink. Ignoring it, I smiled, before gesturing to the living room.

“How about we sit somewhere a little more comfortable?”

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

That dread in the pit of my stomach never moved, the entire time was I away from her. When we finished the case early, I’d been more than eager to get home.

It was getting dark as we drove down the long road toward Y/N’s, and I frowned when I saw a car in the ditch up ahead, lights flashing. Sam saw it too and we quickly stopped, not ones to pass someone in trouble.

When we saw it was Garth, unconscious at the wheel of his battered old pick up, the dread in my stomach turned to all consuming fear.

With the smaller man safely in the backseat, his car locked up to be retrieved later, we sped back to Y/N’s house. From the outside it seemed clear; the lights were on downstairs, casting an eerie glow across the lawn. Leaving Sam to deal with Garth, I sprinted across the driveway, bursting in through the front door to find Y/N sat on the sofa with a taller brunette, who smiled up at me as I walked in.

“Dean!” Y/N got up, smiling as she approached me. I was relieved to see she was fine, but still on edge with a stranger in the room and Garth unconscious outside. “This is Natalia. She’s been waiting for you to get back.”

“Natalia?” he said. “Never heard of ya.”

“Oh, but I’ve heard of you, Dean Winchester. Too much, one might say.” She winked, standing from her seat, putting down the coffee mug she’d held in her hand. Y/N planted a kiss on my cheek but I was too distracted by the woman invading my territory. She wasn’t Alpha; that would have had me attacking her on sight.

Y/N was practically cooing in my ear now and I wondered briefly if she was drunk. “She’s got some information about that monster you and Sam were chasing a few months ago,” my Omega purred. “The Lin…Lin…dammit what was the name of that thing?” She shook her head, still smiling. “Anyway, she said it wasn’t working alone and -”

"That is quite enough of that,” Natalia interrupted, holding up her hand and Y/N froze, her words cutting off as pink colored the side of her eyes. I immediately went on the attack, drawing my gun, reaching out to pull Y/N away to safety but she was frozen on the spot. 

Natalia laughed, a clipped and irritating noise. 

“Y/N is sweet. She’s been very accommodating.”

I growled, the threat of violence sharp in the air. I was going to tear the bitch apart. “Let her go.”

“No.” She smiled, her too-big eyes fixated on me. “I’ve got some business with you, Dean, and she’s now an integral part of it.” The woman walked forward and my eyes slid to Y/N. Aside from her chest moving with rapid breaths, not a single part of her twitched. I could see the terror in her wide eyes, reflecting my own fear back at me.

Sam and Garth were approaching the house, visible through the open door and Natalia heard it too. Her other hand came up and the door slammed shut. “They, however, are not.”

“Who the fuck are you?” I snarled, my finger itchy on the trigger. The bullets wouldn’t kill her but they might be enough to wound her and get Y/N free.

Or flat out kill my mate on the spot.

“You fire that gun, and I’ll be the woman who murdered your mate.” Suspicions confirmed - I forced myself to calm down. Natalia grinned, her gleaming white teeth giving her an almost ethereal look. Her dark hair fanned around her face, and I narrowed my eyes further, my target in my sights. “And my name is Natalia. She already told you that.”

The way she pointed at Y/N like she was a bag of trash made rage curl in my belly. “Means nothing to me.” My voice was raw with anger and she smiled even wider. I didn’t recognize her at all and I didn’t usually leave witches alive.

“You never met me,” the bitch continued, flicking her hair back. “But you met my sister. About six years ago.” Her eyes flashed. “You killed her.”

“It’s what I do, sweetheart.” My front was all bravado but my chest was in an icy tight grip. If she was here for revenge, there was no telling what she would do. Sam was slamming his fists against the front door now, Garth’s voice echoing in the background. “What do you want?”

“Oh, sweet Dean. I want you to feel like I felt.” She moved a little closer, her fingers clenching the air as Y/N gave a small moan. “I loved my sister. Dearly. But when she died, it hurt so much, because I couldn’t stop loving her, you see.” Natalia grinned wickedly. “I’m not going to hurt Y/N. But you are going to suffer.” Y/N’s eyes drifted closed and I started to panic. The witch said she wouldn’t hurt her, but I wasn’t going to believe her for a second.

“Let her go. Do what you want with me.” I sounded desperate and was fully aware of that fact.

So was Natalia. She laughed loudly. “She’s going to sleep, Dean. For a very long time. Nothing will help her.”

“So you’re pulling a Sleeping Beauty?” I scoffed, my reflexive humor coming out to cover up the bone chilling fear I felt. “Original.”

“Oh, no,” she tittered. “No true loves kiss or anything quite so poetic or easy to break.” Natalia’s grin was demonic now, her lips stretched back so far I could see her gums. Her skin had taken on an almost bluish grey tone, as if whatever glamour she’d used to appear normal was fading. “In order for Y/N to wake up, you’ll have to stop loving her, Dean. And being her Alpha, that’s almost impossible isn’t it? You couldn’t ever love anyone more than her." 

My blood froze in my veins.

"Don’t…” I whispered. "Please…” MY fault. This was all my fault. I wanted to beg, I’d drop down to my knees if I wasn’t so focused on staying upright. Please don’t take her.

Natalia laughed again; I felt sick. "I waited so long, Dean. So long for you to fall in love so I could hurt you. Your brother wasn’t quite enough - you two seem to survive without each other, so I knew it would make you angry but this? Seeing your mate, the one being you would be nothing without, locked in sleep where she can’t even dream?” She threw her head back, cackling like the witch she was. “It was perfect. And then I got here and it was more than I had ever imagined. The mate…." 

She lowered her voice, her eyes driving into mine like a drill into my skull. I felt a cold sweat drip down the back of my neck, that little pool of dread growing into a system wide panic. 

"And the pup.”

The weight that had been suffocating my chest dropped into my stomach and I wanted to vomit. Y/N had been so excited on the phone when I spoke to her. So happy, saying she had something to tell me but wanted to tell me when I got home.

She was pregnant.

And I hadn’t protected her.

“Remember, Dean. If you ever want her to open her eyes again…” Natalia smirked. "You’d better start killing off those feelings. Of course…” She released her hold on Y/N, letting her fall to the floor in a crumpled heap before I could reach her. "I wouldn’t expect you to manage it. You can suffer like I have.”

My thin control snapped and I pulled the trigger. 

The bullet hit air before slamming into a painting the other side of the room.

Y/N hit the floor with a thud, her eyes closed. The front door burst open, Sam and Garth tumbling in. Both of them skidded to a halt in the living room doorway, horror on their faces.

I wasn’t even aware of the tears streaming down my face as I held her close. She was breathing, but she was cold and so still. Sam’s hand on my shoulder went unregistered in my mind.

I had done this.

This was my fault.


	9. August

** _Dean_ **

For a week, we stayed at the house, trying to wake her. Eventually, we knew she’d need medical intervention, just to keep her body alive. The specifics of the spell were still buried in the books Sam had been digging through, so we weren’t sure if she’d deteriorate without food or drink. 

I’ll admit, I’d tried to kiss her once or twice. Just in case.

We didn’t use the closest hospital, instead leaving Garth at the house to keep it running, heading back to Kansas. The hospital we chose was close to the bunker, not that I had any intention of going home, and enabled us to keep… working.

Sam thought it would stop me going crazy.

I didn’t care.

The minute she’d hit the ground, I’d felt bereft and broken. And guilty. I should never have gotten close, never mated her. This was my fault. The witch wanted revenge on me and Y/N had just been a pawn.

Now our child was her pawn as well.

The doctors were puzzled but of course we couldn’t tell them the truth. After days of waiting for her to wake up, they had concluded that she was in a coma and she needed to be kept under constant watch. There were things I couldn’t do for her that a hospital could.

They tested her a million different ways; no brain damage, no wounds, no injuries beyond the old scars she bore. They asked me a thousand questions about her health, her history, the scar on her neck. I gave them everything they wanted and more. Anything to try and help.

It didn’t do anything. A week into August and it was raining hard outside. I couldn’t help but feel like it was reflecting my feelings. It’d never be sunny again as far as I was concerned.

The only way to save her was to stop loving her.

And I couldn’t do that.

Charlie turned up a few days into her stay at the hospital, just as they were preparing to do an ultrasound to check on the status of the baby. They’d been informed she was an Omega, and even though we weren’t married, as her Alpha, I was her next of kin, and allowed to stay at all hours. Sam left on occasion, bringing me clean clothes and food - not that I ate more than enough to keep my stomach from growling - and he had called the redhead as back up to keep me company. I managed a few grunts at her but I was grateful and I hope she knew it.

She was there four weeks later when the nice nurse from OBGYN did the ultrasound. She gasped as I sat in stunned silence when the nurse delivered the news that Y/N wasn’t just carrying one baby. That I was gonna have two pups.

I couldn’t stop crying after that.

She’d given me the most precious gift I could ever imagine and I sat there, guilty of bringing death to her doorstep. Y/N might still be breathing but she wouldn’t wake up. She couldn’t experience the things she’d wanted to experience. She didn’t even know of the precious extra cargo she was carrying.

Sixteen weeks gone. She wasn’t showing. The nurse explained that the babies were healthy but they couldn’t tell the sex yet. She told me her name and that she’d been handling Y/N’s case, as she’d had experience with difficult pregnancies before, especially with Omega mothers. I think she might have been an Omega, but my senses were dulled.

Charlie thanked her, and the only thing I noticed was the look of pity she gave me.

** _*****_ **

** _Sam_ **

It was the middle of August when I convinced Dean to take a trip back to the bunker with Charlie. He was losing weight, losing interest in anything. He was lost, and I knew that the only way to help him was to force him back into life. It was a fight, but he finally relented, on my promise to not leave Y/N’s side.

I was there for a few hours when the nurse came in, almost falling asleep in the armchair by the bed, the steady beep-beep of the monitors and Y/N’s soft breathing sending me right off.

The nurse creeped in but I woke immediately, years of training too much to ignore. She smiled at me, and I stared, a little dumbfounded. I think she assumed I was just a little sloppy from having just woken up.

It wasn’t my tired state making me stare like that.

“I’m Sam,” I managed, stuttering a little.

"Ah, Dean’s brother? Yeah, he’s talked about you.” She smiled again, registering the stats on the chart. Pulling out a stethoscope, she started to check Y/N over, paying special attention to her barely visible baby bump under the hospital gown. “I’m Caitlin, by the way. The OBGYN nurse assigned to Y/N’s case.”

I nodded, watching as she worked. “Did you need me to leave?”

“No, no. Just checking her over for the evening. Did Dean leave?”

“He went home for a rest.”

Caitlin threw her head back, shifting a cascade of dark blonde over her shoulder. The movement sent a waft of her scent my way and I froze in the chair, my fingers gripping the arms until they were white at the knuckles. She didn’t seem to notice, carrying on with her duties.

“About time,” she said quietly. “He’s very… broody. Mind you, I can’t blame him. It’s sweet to see an Alpha so devoted. You’d be surprised how many I’ve seen completely abandon their mates in their time of need.”

I nodded, gritting my teeth. “Yeah, he’s…. he blames himself.” Caitlin frowned, and I realized how that sounded. “He feels like he should have been there to stop whatever caused this. Even though… sometimes it doesn’t work that way.”

“No. It doesn’t,” she sighed. “Sometimes nature is cruel. But there’s hope. No one’s written her off.” She finished scribbling on the notes at the bottom of Y/N’s bed before flashing a reassuring smile in my direction. I tried to ignore the growing arousal in my lower belly. 

How did she not feel this? 

“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you again, Sam.” She left the room and I sighed, sinking down into the chair.

How the hell could this happen? After all this time, and in this place, right here… I hadn’t felt like this since I’d seen Jess across the quad at Stanford.

Caitlin, the nice OBGYN nurse assigned to my brother’s mate, was an Omega. And I was fairly certain she was mine.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

“So, twins huh?” Charlie tried to break the tension in the car and I blinked, looking over at her. I wasn’t even sure if I was paying attention to the road at this point.

“Yeah. Twins,” I muttered and she smiled, reaching over to touch my knee. My body recoiled at any other human touching me, even though logically I knew that Charlie was a Beta, a lesbian Beta at that. 

Still… it made me feel wrong.

She pulled her hand back, almost as if she sensed my discomfort at the contact. “She’s gonna pull through this, Dean.”

“The witch -” I spat the words, feeling rage boil in my veins. It was the first time I’d felt anything but numb for days. I couldn’t even be happy at the thought of the pups growing. Because she wasn’t awake to experience it. "She said that the only way that will happen is to stop loving her.”

“Sam said as much,” Charlie replied quietly. “That’s not going to happen, is it? I mean, I’m only a Beta but… it’s written all over you, Dean.”

“Then I’ll have to kill the bitch,” I growled.

Charlie didn’t argue with me. “Well, there’s something I can help with. I can track her down. We’ll gank the bitch and reverse the spell, right?” I nodded, wishing it were that easy, but who could tell if that would work. 

Capturing Natalia and torturing her for a bit definitely would help if killing her wouldn’t work.

“I’m planning on it,” I said quietly, pulling the car into the driveway of the bunker, making my mind up as Charlie climbed from Baby’s front seat. Following her into the bunker, I dropped my duffel on the table, starting to collect various weapons from around the room. She looked at me in confusion, and I kept focused on what I was doing, starting to speak firmly. “You’re gonna get your laptop and go back to the hospital. Call Garth. See what we can find out. Me and Sam are gonna find the bitch and torture her until she fixes this.” I glanced up, seeing the bewilderment on her face.

“Dean, I don’t -”

I wasn’t looking for an argument or more gentle encouragement toward rest. "Look, I’ve been sat in that hospital for nearly three weeks watching her lie there like a fucking corpse!” My voice was loud, echoing off the walls - I didn’t care. “I’ve gotta do something, Charlie! I can’t just watch her die!”

“She’s not dying!” The petite redhead wasn’t afraid to get in my face, I’ll give her that. I was vibrating with rage but she kept her ground, glaring at me.

“How long before that happens?” Tears were running down my face and I could feel hysteria building in my throat. I wanted blood. Something angry had awoken inside me and I was going to do what I did best. I was going to hunt and kill them. There was only one person I cared about saving now.

Charlie didn’t argue with me further, watching as I packed my bag for the road. I entrusted her with the key to the bunker, and drove her back to the hospital. Sam tried to argue the point, but when I said I’d leave without him, he followed. I heard him promise Charlie that we’d be back soon.

I knew I would be. I was going to find Natalia and rip her fucking spine out.

** _*****_ **

** _Sam_ **

Dean was out for blood. I’d seen this attitude before, and it scared me. Anyone who wasn’t scared didn’t have a brain cell to work with. Dean was downright dangerous when he was hurting, and right now he was an Alpha with a wounded mate, and endangered pups. That was pretty much the most dangerous animal anyone could face.

Fighting with him was less preferable to taking on a grizzly bear.

I didn’t mention the OBGYN nurse. I know Dean had met her, and part of me, the selfish part, wanted to talk to my brother about it. But I knew right now he couldn’t care. I felt bad, that in the midst of all this, I felt like I’d met someone…even if she hadn’t even slightly acknowledged it. A man could dream though, right? And it was good to hold onto something positive…

Although I didn’t think Dean would see it that way.

“So, what’s the plan again?” I asked, desperate to break the tension.

“Find Natalia.” He spat her name like it was poison. “Make her reverse the spell. Kill her. Slowly and fucking painfully.”

Wow. “Okay. And do we know where she is?”

He hesitated. _That would be a no_. I frowned and he glared at me out of the corner of his eye, keeping his main focus on the wet road ahead. It didn’t normally rain this hard in August - but the roads were almost flooding. “I don’t. Charlie and Garth are working on it.”

I didn’t say anything else after that, letting him seethe quietly as he drove. Leaning my head against the window, I let my thoughts drift, automatically going to Jess, before Caitlin’s face jumped into my mind. Somehow, I thought Jess might have liked her.

I certainly did.

When I woke up, a few hours later, Dean was pulling into a motel. He looked beat, but I wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t slept well, if at all, in weeks. “Where are we?”

“Just the other side of the Colorado border,” he replied. We’d made some distance then. I looked down, just checking I was alive and we hadn’t been involved in a horrible accident. “I need sleep. Nearly came off the road a couple miles back.” He grinned but it didn’t reach his almost dead eyes. “You were out cold, princess.”

“Thanks.” I stretched and yawned, letting him climb from the car before I followed. He went to the office to get a room as I grabbed our stuff from the trunk. Dean sauntered from the office, taking his bag from my hand and pointing towards room number 3.

“Last double they had.”

I nodded, feeling like I needed a shower, and I followed him to the room, watching as he threw himself onto the bed fully clothed. Moving past him, I went straight to shower, making it as hot as I could. Thirty minutes later, I felt cleansed and refreshed, not ready to sleep more. Deciding on contacting Charlie and Garth to see if they’d dug anything up, I left the bathroom fully dressed.

Dean was snoring on his side; I walked around to check on him. His face was red and puffy, tear tracks streaked down his face. One hand was fisted in the blankets underneath him – he’d never bothered to get undressed. His other hand was clutching what looked like a Polaroid photo and I moved closer, frowning as I bent my head to get a better look in the dim light.

It was one of the photos Garth had taken the night before we left on that last hunt. Y/N was dressed up, Dean too and they were smiling at the camera, her head bent a slight angle where she rested on his shoulder. They looked happy.

It was so fucking unfair.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

A week of searching and nothing. I’d contacted Crowley, and Charlie and Garth were on it, spreading the word through every network they knew, searching for the brunette witch. But I didn’t even know if what I saw was her true face.

I’d hated witches before - now I wanted them all dead.

We’d killed more monsters than I’d faced in a month in a single week, looking for any sign of the bitch. But nothing came up. August was coming to a close when Charlie called and asked us to return to Kansas, that the doctors needed to speak to me.

I’d driven like a bat out of hell. If something worse was happening…I couldn’t deal with that.

When I got there, the doctor on call wasn’t Y/N’s usual doctor, but that nurse, Caitlin, the one my brother was sniffing after (and thought I hadn’t noticed) was there. She’d quickly assured me that nothing was wrong, that Y/N was just slipping into a deeper coma than they’d expected, her brain activity lessening. It happened sometimes but wasn’t a threat to the babies. I’d heaved a sigh of relief, and pretended not to notice the shared looks between the blonde nurse and my brother.

I wanted to be happy for him but I couldn’t. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

I’d resumed my place at Y/N’s side, taking her hand, talking to her about what I was trying to do. The entire time, I watched her face, hoping for a twitch, a flicker – anything to indicate she was in there.

But there was nothing.

What else could I do but break again?


	10. September

** _Dean_ **

“You should ask her out.” I said quietly, not even looking at Sam across the room. They’d brought in a cot for me, seeing as I’d refused to leave Y/N’s side, except when someone provided me with a lead that might get me Natalia’s head on a platter. Even then, in the last month, it had only been two or three times I’d left, and I’d only go if Charlie or Sam were here to watch over her.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had a fucking shave. She’d probably love this beard I had going.

Sam made a noise at me, having not heard, looking over his stupidly thick book. “What was that?”

“Caitlin.” I motioned to the door. “The pretty Omega nurse you’ve been slobbering over every day for a month. Hell, dude, even I’m getting embarrassed now. Just go…make a move or something.” I felt a little drop in my chest. “Don’t feel like you should hold back on my account.”

My little brother’s face was ashen. Did he really think I was dumb enough not to notice? “Dean, I -”

"Look, you were there, man,” I muttered, “you were there the whole time when I should have been more considerate. Parading around in front of you when I knew you’d lost Jess.” I sighed, knowing he was probably thinking I was an idiot.

“You’re an idiot." 

_Bingo_. 

Sam shook his head, putting his book down. "And…I’m going to. Just… don’t know how.” His voice lowered to an ashamed mumble and I felt a smile cracking my cheeks. It had been a while since they’d done that.

“Yeah, I felt like that. Do you think…she might be…”

He shrugged, crossing one leg over the other, looking a little uncomfortable. "I don’t know. I mean, I like her. A lot. A hell of a lot. And there’s something about her that just makes me feel - I dunno -”

"Primal?” I interjected, knowing exactly what he meant.

Like when the air got sucked out of the room and they were the only thing you could think about. It wasn’t that long ago I was in the same position.

“Me and Jess were the real deal, Dean.” I could see the heartbreak on his face. No matter how much time passed, Sam would never get over that. Not completely. “I don’t think it’s possible to have that again.”

I shook my head. “So you’re not even gonna try?” Why was I angry at that? Did I want him to end up like me? Regretting what had happened… but was that any better than regretting that nothing happened at all?

“I didn’t say that,” Sam said, slowly, almost sensing my irritation. “And I am.” The door clicked open. “I’ll talk to her later, yeah?” I sat up straight as two doctors entered, one being Y/N’s usual doctor, Dr. Porter and the other being someone I’d not seen before, another doctor, judging by the white coat and smart haircut. Dr. Porter smiled, the wrinkles on his forehead almost tripling.

Man, he must have been nearing retirement. He looked like Henry Winkler lost a fight with the Fountain Of Youth.

“Mr Winchester. This is Dr. Osgood.” The new doctor nodded, and I looked him up and down, assessing him. He looked like a dick. “He’s one of our neurology consultants and he had a look at some of Y/N’s scans." 

I did not like the sound of that.

"Mr Winchester,” Dr. Douchebag started - I liked that name better - and his voice grated. “Mrs Winchester’s -”

"We’re not married,” I corrected him, “and her name is Y/N.” She hated being formal. She’d hate this guy to hell and back.

“Y/N -” Dr. Douchebag said her name haltingly, as if it were below him, and I subtly sniffed the air. Alpha doctor. Great. Probably thinks the worst of any Omega. "Her body is under a great deal of stress in the coma. With the drop in her brain activity -” 

He droned on, referring to the two drops in the last four weeks. I’d only been there for the second, and it terrified me. 

"We are concerned that the pregnancy is taking an unnecessary toll on her body.”

Wait.

What the fuck did he say?

Sam stood up, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Dr Porter looked at his colleague in alarm. Dr Douchebag scratched his nose and carried on speaking like he was discussing the weather and not my fucking family.

“It would be advisable, in her condition, if we aborted the fetuses until -”

He didn’t finish his sentence. 

Before I even registered what I was doing, I had him against the wall, my teeth inches from his neck, bared and growling like an animal. Red filled my vision; my hand tightened around his throat, intent on squeezing the life out of him. Shouts of ‘_Mr. Winchester_’ and ‘_Dean_’ filled my ears along with the ringing of murderous thoughts in my own mind.

He was almost blue when Sam finally pulled me off, holding me back as I thrashed against him. Dr. Porter was helping the collapsed doctor to his feet, the latter holding his bruised neck as I screamed at him. He left the room abruptly, with Dr. Porter shaking his head.

"I told him not to suggest it. I told my superior it was a bad idea. But they both thought it would be easier… I am so sorry, Mr Winchester.”

“You should go,” Sam advised, not menacingly, but he was still restraining me. I was practically foaming at the mouth, ready to rip Dr. Douchebag apart for even suggesting that I kill my children.

Fuck the coma.

_Fuck_ that _fucking_ witch.

Y/N wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t want her pups killed because it might help. She’d hate me if I even thought about doing it.

I stopped fighting against my brother and fell to her bedside, my left hand taking hers and the other laying over her swollen belly. They were growing fast – she was almost 24 weeks now. Caitlin said they were doing another ultrasound this week and I would be able to know the sex.

Y/N should have been awake. She should have been there to see all this, to experience it with me. The doctors and Sam kept telling me that coma patients can hear their surroundings… but this wasn’t a normal coma. Natalia said she wouldn’t dream. For her… it could just be endless blackness, trapped in her head without anything to focus on.

It was like a living death.

My resolve to find the witch strengthened. Along with my intention to rip her to shreds.

** _*****_ **

** _Sam_ **

I needed a distraction. Dean had finally fallen asleep at Y/N’s bedside, knees almost touching the floor where he was slumped in the chair, so I took the opportunity to leave the room, knowing Charlie would be back soon. The doctor who’d made the stupid suggestion to him was at the nurses’ station and the nurses were all giving him a wide berth. His neck was a mass of purple and black, and I couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied.

Stupid dick.

You don’t threaten an Alpha’s pups in front of him; born or not. Dean acted exactly as any Alpha would. Apparently the nurses, most of whom were Betas, understood this. They gave a few nods in my direction, meant in solidarity.

I hoped.

It didn’t hurt that Dean had charmed half the women on the wing into giving his mate the best care possible. I envied him sometimes.

Caitlin was coming out of the staff room as I was walking down the corridor towards the coffee machine and I almost hid. 

Almost. 

God, I felt like a teenager around her, and it was embarrassing. She spotted me almost immediately and smiled; I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat.

Maybe Dean was right all those years ago. I am a sick romantic.

“Hey, Sam.” She waved, stopping and waiting for me. “Rumors are going around that your brother beat up Dr. Osgood.”

“He didn’t…beat him up. Bruised him a little.” I grinned. “But he had it coming.”

“Dr. Porter warned him and Chief. B that it was a bad idea,” she sighed, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. “I did too, but they thought they had to present all the options.” She fell into a gait beside me, and I found myself drawn to her pretty green eyes. She was stunning - curves in all the right places, gorgeous shoulder length dark blonde hair. I had to fight to keep my attention on what she was saying.

“Well, obviously they forgot how protective Alphas can be. And Dean’s pretty protective anyway so…”

She was slowing to a stop by the door to the ward. My grin faded and nerves started to play a spicy waltz in my stomach. God, I was working myself up too much over this. "I just wanted to, er,” I scratched the back of my head, “I wanted to ask -”

My mouth was so fucking dry. What if she was already with someone? Didn’t mean she had to be claimed. She could be with a Beta, or her Alpha might be waiting or -

"Sam?” she asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I’d stopped talking; she was facing me now, her chin level with my chest. “I finish at six today.” She smiled, pressing her hand right over my heart. “And I would love to go for a drink with you.”

I heaved a sigh, glad she’d seized the initiative there. “Six. Okay. I’ll probably be in Y/N’s room.”

There was a flash of concern on her face. “Won’t Dean -”

I shook my head. "He pretty much told me to do it before he hit me. Or something like that.” She giggled and it was the most wonderful sound in the world. Fuck, I was in deep. “So, six? I’ll see you then.” I smiled and she nodded, moving back a foot or so before freezing. 

She stepped back towards me, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss me softly on the lips. She tasted like cherry lip balm and coffee.

When I got back to Y/N’s room, I was bright red.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

My phone woke me up, vibrating in my jeans pocket. I read the text quickly, wiping my face of the sleep I’d not enjoyed. Nightmares were hitting me more frequently these days, mostly of Y/N suffering, or of losing…

I couldn’t even think about it.

The message was from Garth, regarding a lead on the witch. He was on his way to check it out and would let me know if it was solid. In the meantime, I was sat there, on my own. Sam had left with Caitlin for a date, and while part of me was happy for him, a small part of me resented anyone getting on with their lives when mine was lying in a hospital bed, unresponsive to the world.

Selfish, really, considering everything he’d already lost. Sam deserved more from life.

I pressed my hand against Y/N’s belly, feeling the swell of it. We’d done that. We’d made those little people growing in there. She’d be so excited to feel the first flutters, and I was sure I could feel kicks when I touched her but half the time I thought I was imagining it.

They were doing a scan tomorrow to find out the sex. I couldn’t bring myself to look forward to it. But my nightmares had at least given me an idea.

“Cas?” I called out to the silent room, knowing it was a long shot. We hadn’t seen him in months before Y/N was cursed and I hadn’t been kind to him when he’d turned up and told me there was nothing he could do. “Need a favor, buddy.” Pausing, I felt my stomach churn and I tried one more time. Cas?”

The flutter of wings sounded a few moments later, much to my surprise and Castiel approached the other side of the bed, casting his gaze over the sleeping Omega.

“Dean,” he greeted, his tone gruff. He took Y/N’s hand - they’d only met once or twice and the last time he’d been here, he’d tried to heal her, with no luck and plenty of aggravation from me. It wasn’t his fault but I… I just couldn’t hold it together. 

His hand slid over her bump, right by her belly button and I swore I saw him smile. “The babies are healthy,” the angel informed me, “and very happy.” I wished I could smile at that but my plan was weighing me down. “Is everything okay?”

“I need…” I stopped, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I need you to help me with something.”

“I already tried to heal her, Dean. I cannot -”

Stopping him short, I held a hand up. "No, not that.” It felt like there was a stone lodged in my throat; what I was about to ask him to do was not what I wanted but if it worked… “I need you to wipe my memory. Take all of it away. So I don’t remember her.”

Castiel stared at me, those stupid blue eyes full of more emotion than I could muster right now. He looked down at Y/N, removing his hand before shaking his head. “It would not work, Dean.”

“Why not?” I demanded, indignant that my plan was being shot down. “I can’t love her if I don’t know her. Then she’ll wake up.”

“Because,” he started slowly, talking to me like I was a toddler, “even if you do not know her, you are bonded to her. Your soul knows hers.”

Well, wasn’t that disgustingly romantic? I hated that it made me feel a little warm inside when I should be cold. “We don’t know that it wouldn’t work.”

“It wouldn’t,” the angel reaffirmed. “You and Y/N are mates. The witch knew that. You are connected on a level that not even the strongest power could separate you. Even if you did not know her, your soul would and would still love her.”

I wanted to punch him in his stupid angel face for making sense.

“We kill me then,” I reasoned, already knowing he’d shoot that idea down too. “If I die, I’m gone, soul’s gone, so she wakes up.”

He looked even sadder if that were possible, like one of those stupid china clown dolls they give kids, with the frowny faces. “Your soul would only wait for her in heaven, loving her eternally. Death does not stop love, Dean. You should know this already.”

I sank down into a chair, feeling even more lost and desperate than I had before. “I don’t know what to do, Cas. How do I… how do I keep going?”

“You find the witch. She is the only one who can break the spell. Or…you stop loving Y/N.”

“That isn’t possible.”

“Which I believe was her intention,” he pointed out. 

_Punching him is going to hurt you a whole lot more_, my brain reminded me, even though my fingers itched for a fight I couldn’t win.

“Dean,” Cas was stood next to me now, a hand on my shoulder, trying to offer comfort, “I can feel your suffering. I wish I could help.”

Forcing myself to nod, I kept my eyes on the bed. “You said they’re happy.”

“They are,” he replied, his gaze going back to my Omega.

“You can… can you read their thoughts.”

“They’re not exactly cognitive yet,” the angel muttered, “it’s more feelings than anything. They’re safe, warm… content.”

“Good,” I whispered, wiping away the tear that dared escape. “That’s good.”

** _*****_ **

** _Sam_ **

Garth’s lead had been a bust and when I got back to the room, Charlie was there, on her own. She was half asleep, reading Lord Of The Rings out loud; I smiled, making sure she had everything she needed before leaving without disturbing her.

Dean was at the bunker and he was half drunk. It took a lot to persuade him into his room, and even more to get him to get some rest. He’d wanted to go back to the hospital, but after repeatedly telling him he couldn’t turn up drunk like that, he’d finally relented.

And sobbed for about three hours until he finally went to sleep.

I was too wired to sleep right away, after my date with Caitlin. She was…intriguing. Beautiful and intelligent - I was completely caught. Inappropriate timing aside, I was feeling happier than I had since Jess… well, the possibilities were opening up. I had to take a cold shower, seeing as thinking of her was causing some issues with controlling myself.

After finally grabbing a few hours sleep, I woke up at 10am, finding a hungover Dean in the kitchen, making coffee. He looked grumpy as hell, and I decided not to poke the bear for a little while, leaving it to him to speak first.

“Y/N has another scan today,” he mumbled, half into his coffee. I nodded, sitting opposite him with my own drink and a bagel. It was mostly stale, and I made a mental note to buy something a little fresher later on. “One thirty.”

“Do you want me to be there?” I asked; he nodded.

“I think Caitlin is doing it,” he mentioned and I blushed, looking down at my food as he grinned knowingly. “I assume last night went well? Except for… well, drunk me.”

I nodded, smiling. “It did. Obviously not rushing. I told her about Jess. The monster-less version anyway. Turns out, she had a mate but he was a douche and ran. Don’t know why. She’s pretty fantastic.”

Dean managed a small smirk. “She’ll be in good hands.” He stood up. “I’m gonna go shower off the whiskey.” As he passed me, he clapped a hand on my shoulder. “You told me to seize happiness once, Sammy. I’m gonna tell you the same thing. And thanks. For last night.” He paused. “For everything.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I assured him, watching him slump from the kitchen.

Three hours later, we were driving to the hospital, making it just in time to burst into Y/N’s room where Charlie was quizzing Caitlin on all the different equipment she was using. The ultrasound machine was next to the bed, switched on and Dean’s face fell.

“Did I miss it?”

“No!” Caitlin exclaiming, smiling at me. I nodded, ducking my head and moving around beside Charlie, who gave us both a knowing look. Goddamn perceptive Betas. “We’re just about to start.” She picked up the wand, spreading the ultrasound jelly over Y/N’s exposed stomach. My heart hurt just to look at her; she was missing all of this.

It should have been an exciting time but the atmosphere was morose. Dean sat beside his mate, holding her hand, his eyes flickering between her still features and the machine’s screen.

Caitlin made humming noises as she rubbed the wand over the swell of Y/N’s belly, nodding and smiling when she found one of the babies. “Here’s number one.” She glanced at Dean. “Did we want to know the sex?” He nodded and I smiled, knowing how much he hated surprises. “Well, twin number one is…” She squinted at the screen and then smiled. "A boy.”

Dean didn’t react.

Caitlin waited a second or two, her eyes flickering to me before she carried on. When she found the second, she leaned in, twisting the wand a little. “Number two is a little shy,” she commented, squinting at the screen before twisting the wand again. “Let’s try another angle - oh, no, there it is! Another boy.”

I looked at Dean as Caitlin continued with the scan, checking for all the other things she needed to check for. Dean was still, his hand holding Y/N’s but his lips were moving where he was leaned in close to her. I edged a little closer, noting the little smile on his lips and the shine in his eyes.

He was whispering to her.

“We’re having twin boys, baby. I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna wake up to see them. I’ll make sure of it. I love you, so much.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, stepping back to watch Caitlin pack up the equipment, a sad expression on her face. Charlie moved behind Dean, rubbing his shoulders, and she looked at me, asking a silent question.

But I didn’t know what to do.


	11. October

** _Sam_ **

“_I found her_.”

Crowley’s voice was clear as day and I sat bolt upright in the chair, not expecting the call. The British accent on the other end gave me an address and I nodded, despite the fact he couldn’t see me, barking out an affirmation that I would be there within the day before hanging up.

Opposite me, his head laying next to Y/N’s swollen belly, one hand curled around her waist, and the other at his side, clutching the precious Polaroid photo of them, Dean snored lightly. He couldn’t be comfortable but it was the way he slept most nights, ignoring the cot that the nurses had put in there for him. The photo was worn around the edges, probably from where he’d pulled it out of his pocket so often.

“Dean?” I shook his shoulder gently; he woke instantly, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes. Whatever rest he’d gotten, it wasn’t peaceful.

“What?” He was alert in a second, looking over at the monitors, his first thought for his mate. Once he was satisfied that she was there and nothing had changed, he switched his attention to me, and I nodded.

“Crowley found her.”

His eyes cleared, and he stood up, pulling out his cell. Without acknowledging what I’d said, he tapped away at the screen and I briefly saw Charlie’s name before he was pocketing the phone again.

“How’d he do it?” Dean asked and I shrugged.

“Didn’t ask. Figure he’s feeling bad about his hench demons going behind his back.” I picked up my jacket. “I’ll get supplies. You stay here - I’ll swing by for you before we go. Crowley’s got her contained.”

His jaw ticked but he didn’t argue with my plan. “For now.” It wasn’t difficult to see the murder in my brother’s eyes. I nodded, leaving the room, seeing Caitlin across the hall but I didn’t stop, despite my urge to go to her. She smiled, giving me a little wave as I bolted off.

It hadn’t taken long for her to figure out that I wasn’t the regular kind of guy you meet at a bar. She wasn’t up to speed on all things monsters and demons but she was laid back about my mysterious past and accepted when I said I would explain when this was all over.

I didn’t have time to think of my own love life right now. We had a witch to hunt.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

I wasn’t expecting Castiel to pop in. Taking a few moments to myself, I was talking to Y/N and the room was silent, save for the quiet beep of the machine monitoring her vitals. He scared the shit out of me and just fucking _grinned_ at me. His gaze dropped to Y/N and I frowned.

Something struck me and the angel seemed to sense the question on my lips, his blue eyes on me. “She doesn’t dream.”

“The witch said she wouldn’t,” I muttered in return. “It’s like she’s dead but -”

"She isn’t,” he assured me. “She is far from death. It’s more like… she’s suspended. A freeze frame.” He cocked his head to the side before looking down at Y/N once more, her skin holding a sickly pallor. Those tan lines I’d once kissed were long gone. Castiel reached out, putting a hand on her belly, and I had to fight down the urge to tackle him away from her.

He wasn’t an Alpha. He wasn’t even human. I was just being over protective.

A smile cracked his face, and he looked up at me again. “The babies are kicking.” I nodded, hating the pain that laced through me at that when it should have been happiness. “They are very content.”

I didn’t make a sound, wishing he’d stop talking.

Keeping his hand where it was, the angel closed his eyes, smiling again. “They know they are loved and warm and safe, even if they don’t know what those feelings mean.” I shook my head, turning away from the bed, not wanting the slight measure of happiness I was feeling.

Cas’ hand on my shoulder made me freak a little, until a warm and serene feeling came over me. I stopped in my tracks, looking from the angel’s hand on mine up to his face. “What the hell?”

“That is what they feel,” Cas murmured before releasing me. The warm feeling faded but didn’t disappear completely, remaining as a shadow on the edge of my consciousness. “They don’t know what it is but it is important that they feel it. And important that you know.” He removed his hand from Y/N, fixing his eyes on me again. “Dean, I know this situation is difficult, but there is light here. For the both of you.”

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing I could feel that and not the despair eating away at me. “Crowley found the witch.”

“And you plan to kill her,” the angel stated.

I nodded. “Once she’s reversed the spell.”

“And if she cannot?” He paused. “Or will not?”

Thinking about that felt too much like giving up. “I’ll figure it out.”

I wasn’t lying, and sat in the car, I let my mind wander through the possibilities. Sam insisted on driving and I honestly didn’t have the energy to fight him on it. My only focus was killing Natalia and saving my Omega.

As I watched the lights go past the car, I stopped thinking about possible outcomes, sheer exhaustion numbing my senses. The radio was playing random songs, and Alicia Keys came on, ‘_Empire State Of Mind_’. She’s a good singer, not my thing, but the tune reminded me of a happier moment. A smile touched my lips as I closed my eyes.

_“Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t dooooo -” Her voice echoed through the bedroom, disturbing my nap. I rolled over, looking over to the bathroom where steam billowed out. There was an ache in my thighs, probably from the exertion night before, and I stretched out on the bed languidly. Y/N continued to sing in the shower, and I waited, listening as the water turned off._

_Moments later, she emerged, wrapped in a towel, her wet hair sticking to her equally wet skin._

_“Now, that view makes up for the singing.”_

_“Hey,” she admonished, a little bit of a swagger in her step as she approached the bed, “I’m a good singer.”_

_“Whatever you say, sweetheart.” I reached out, unashamed of my nudity as I pulled her into bed with me. She squealed, putting up the most pathetic attempt to escape that ended in giggles when I started to kiss her throat._

_“Dean! I just got clean.”_

_“And I’m making you dirty again,” I chuckled, pinning her underneath me, my arousal already poking into her towel covered thigh.“I love it when you’re dirty.”_

_She pushed at my shoulders. “Can I at least dry my hair?” I shook my head. “Deeean.”_

_“Shush.” I kissed her, making her forget every single protest as I let my hands pull her towel open. Moving down from her lips, I made a path down her jawline, over her pulse point, nipping lightly to hear a satisfying yelp from her. My nose brushed her skin as I kept at my journey, coming to rest over her belly, dipping my tongue into her belly button. She smelled like raspberries, and I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply._

_“I can’t wait to see your belly full of pups,” I whispered, not even filtering the thought, feeling her still underneath me for a second. Opening my eyes, I looked up at her, drinking in her smile. “Tell me you want that,” I practically begged, even though I hadn’t realized I’d wanted it so badly until now._

_Her hands cupped my face, pulling me back up, taking me away from my previous intention, which was to have her squirming on my tongue. But the atmosphere had changed and I slowly pushed into her, moaning as we finally connected, our mouths fused together._

_Sometimes, I wondered how lucky I was, when the other shoe was going to drop. I had this beautiful creature underneath me, whispering my name over and over, my cock buried inside her, bringing her to the edge over and over again._

_She told me once that when she came for me, the stars fell around us. I loved when she got all deep and poetic like that. I wasn’t one for words, but I agreed. Everything little thing she did was magic. And I was aware of the copyright infringement on that line._

_Right here, right now, I was in heaven. I didn’t need anything else but her._

Sam’s voice pulled me out of the pleasant memory and I wiped my face, realizing I was crying. He didn’t mention it, asking if I wanted to stop; I nodded, unsure of my own ability to answer vocally. A bathroom break was called for, mainly so I could try and man up in a filthy truck stop mirror for five minutes.

I practically leaped from the car when he stopped, not answering his question of what I wanted from the store. I didn’t want anything. Nothing bought could make me happy.

** _*****_ **

** _Sam_ **

Dean was hurting. I’d only woken him up and asked if he wanted to stop because he’d dozed off thirty minutes before. It was obviously a happy memory that he’d been lost in… and I’d broken it. 

The truck stop was the last one until we reached the address Crowley had given us. Dean needed to pull himself together, as harsh as it sounded. Weakness in front of the enemy was never a good idea, and Dean was showing everything right now.

Problem was, I wasn’t sure if he could help it.

When he returned to the car, water still clinging to his forehead where he’d washed up, I handed him a cold bottle of Powerade. He wasn’t exactly eating much but keeping fluids up was important and even he knew that. 

Plus, he would do anything to avoid a lecture.

He took it without argument and I started the Impala back up, pulling out onto the road. It was raining hard again and there was a distinctly wintry chill to the air now.

Summer seemed like so long ago.

I’d managed to fire off a quick text to Caitlin when we stopped and she’d replied telling me to keep safe. Y/N was okay, nothing had changed, and I relayed that information to Dean. He only nodded, and went back to staring out the window.

I missed my brother. He was right there beside me but it seemed like most of his personality, his mind was with Y/N. This goddamn witch had done a number on him. She’d gotten him right where she wanted. But it would only end badly for her.

Dean was out for her blood and I knew what that meant.

He cleared his throat, sitting up straight in the seat. “We’re nearly there,” he spoke quietly, not looking anywhere but at the road ahead. I nodded, letting him take his time. “I don’t know what to do. I want her dead… but killing her won’t fix this.”

“We leave her alive… she might hurt someone else,” I pointed out gently, knowing what he was thinking.

He could torture her, or let Crowley do it. It wouldn’t be the first time we’d gotten our hands dirty. But chances were, Dean would have to dig deep, into training he didn’t want to remember, times he’d put behind him.

Trying to undo this spell might undo him.

“I don’t want to see blood on my hands when I hold my kids, Sammy.” God, his voice was heartbreaking.

“You’re not alone in this, Dean,” I reassured him, glancing over. He looked like a ghost, sat there in Baby’s front seat, his skin pale and drawn, his normally green eyes a lackluster hue of moss. I was right before - he’d left everything with Y/N. This was just Dean’s shell.

Until she woke up…it was all he’d be.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

Crowley had taken up residence in some kind of old asylum, naturally. It would be the homey place for a demon, with its Gothic architecture and long haunting halls of brick.

And it had a dungeon.

I couldn’t complain about that - it wasn’t like the bunker didn’t have one. The latest in-home accessory.

His henchmen met us at the door, taking us straight down to the lavishly decorated office. The King Of Hell himself stood, bowing his head slightly as we entered

“Not Moose. Moose,” he greeted and I simply stared at him. Nicknames and pleasantries were for lighter times and by the dark look on his face, Crowley knew it. Sam grunted at him, folding his arms across his chest.

“Crowley.”

“Where is she?” I ground out and Crowley blinked.

“Straight down to business then?” He gestured to the still open door, and we followed him down another stupidly long corridor and some rickety old stone steps. I walked like a zombie, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides, my stomach churning with rage and uncertainty. “I have called in some help, if you don’t mind. Another witch, who may be able to help.”

I scowled at the demon’s back. “More witches. Just what we need.”

“Well, if you want to break a spell, they’re usually the ones to help,” Crowley pointed out and my fists tightened even more with his petulant tone. “Anyway, Natalia is a somewhat nasty piece of work. She hasn’t given my boys anything yet but she’s bound, and hopefully we can get some answers now you’re here.”

“Why the hell are you helping us anyway?” I asked, still curious as to his reasons.

Crowley stopped in his tracks, turning to face me. “We’ve all lost people, Dean. You’re not the only one with an intense dislike for witches.” He shrugged. “Besides, you all cosy with a mate and pups? Keeps you out of my hair, doesn’t it?” I didn’t believe him for a second but as long as he kept to his side of the bargain, I’d let it slide for now. He started to walk again; Sam and I shared a look before following.

At the end of the corridor was the dungeon. Natalia was in a small cramped cell on our right as we entered, and murder immediately surged through my veins at the sight of her.

She was looking more like the twisted creature I knew she was, than the prim brunette I’d first seen. Her grey skin and crooked teeth, mottled with her blood, lank brunette hair hanging down to her waist. The simple black dress she was wearing was spattered with blood and torn, her bare feet almost mangled beyond recognition.

Obviously Crowley had tried to get our answers for us.

“Dean Winchester,” she cackled, her lips pulled back in a bloody smile, “it’s been months.”

“Natalia,” I growled, stepping closer to the bars she was behind.

“How’s Y/N?” she inquired, almost friendly in her tone, but it just pissed me off more. “And the baby? Well, I hope.” Her grin was malicious now, and I wanted to rip her throat out to watch her choke on her own insides. “You don’t look very well though.”

“That’s enough, darling.” Crowley came to stand by my side, and I knew he sensed the animosity flowing off of me. 

I wanted the bitch dead. 

“Why don’t you give us what we need, and we won’t start cutting off pieces at a time.” The demon king looked at me with a wink. “I haven’t even gotten to the thumb screws yet.”

Natalia turned her gaze to Crowley. “And why would I do that? Dean is suffering. He’s stood here, right in front of me, so hopelessly in love with his poor little Omega and unable to save her because of it.” Her eyes moved back to me; I was practically vibrating with rage. “Tell me, do you sit with her? Talk to her? You know she can’t hear anything?” She laughed, rocking back in her restraints maniacally. “I bet you’ve tried everything. Did you try to kill yourself yet?”

I lost it. 

Throwing myself at the bars, everything in me screamed for her blood - I barely registered Sam’s hands on me. All I could hear was her laughter, echoing over the image of Y/N laying in that hospital bed.

My brother dragged me away as Crowley took a cattle prod to the bitch but all I wanted was to kill her. “Dean!” Sam yelled, slapping my cheek. I froze, realizing I was almost crying, hysterical with desperation. “Killing her won’t get us anything,” he insisted, shaking me.

Rage became numbness and I pushed back away from Sam, stumbling to the door and almost walking into someone else.

“You can kill her when I’m done,” the newcomer said, a European lilt to her accent and I looked up, coming face to face with a tall blonde woman. She smiled at me, guiding me out of her way and I didn’t fight. "Never liked the stupid cow anyway.”

“Ah, Katrina,” Crowley greeted, holding out his arm to her. “So nice to see you.”

“I don’t think the same can be said in return,” Katrina replied, pulling at her black shirt. “But a deal’s a deal, isn’t it?” She sighed, peering into Natalia’s cell. “Oh dear, Natalia, what kind of mess have you gotten yourself into now?”

“Katrina?” Natalia sounded angry, and I dared myself to walk closer. “You’re working with hunters? With demons?” She let out a low growl. “You traitor.”

“Oh Natalia.” The blonde witch smiled sweetly. “If you would be a dear and shut the hell up.” She looked over at me and Sam. “I may not care for hunters, Natty, but I care for you even less.” She pulled her hands up, spreading her fingers with her palms vertical either side of her head. “Now, let’s see if we can’t break this curse.” She closed her eyes and the room became charged with energy.

I watched, feeling like the seconds were stretching into centuries as she chanted under her breath, Natalia silent in her cell. I vaguely sensed Sam’s presence behind me, and magic seemed to fill my lungs, standing my every hair on end. 

I hated magic but if this could save Y/N, I wasn’t going to say no to trying.

She kept chanting, frowning every now and then, her body still like stone, and I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until my lungs started to burn. My entire being was so tense it hurt, and my eyes stung where I didn’t want to look away or blink.

Finally, she stopped, opening her eyes, her pale gaze fixed on Natalia, hanging from her chains in the cell. “I can’t do it,” she whispered miserably. “I’m sorry, I just -”

“What?” My voice was a rasp, disappointment flooding my entire system. “Why can’t you do it?”

“She’s used blood magick,” Katrina explained, turning to me. “I’m sorry, but the only person who can break this spell is her. The curse ends by her decree.” She looked over at Crowley, her posture stiffening. “I tried. Our deal is done." 

He nodded and Katrina disappeared from the room.

I stumbled backwards into Sam, Natalia’s low chortling ringing in my ears. Crowley opened the door, and one of his henchmen walked in, brandishing the keys to her chains. "Plan B,” he said. “We torture her some more.” He looked over at me but I wasn’t paying attention. I was staring at my hands, wishing I had the answer.

“I can’t,” I mumbled; Crowley frowned.

“We can take care of the torture.”

“I won’t tell you anything!” Natalia screeched, earning herself a backhand from the henchman. Her head snapped back, and fresh blood trickled down her lip. Crowley grabbed her by the throat, holding her up easily. She smiled at him, her lips stretching back over her gums. “I won’t lift the curse. The only way for Dean to break it is to stop loving Y/N. And the only way for him to do that is to love someone else. He can’t die, he can’t forget…” Her eyes flickered to me where I stood, my shoulders slumped; I was ready to give up. "But an Alpha won’t leave the Omega he’s bonded to. It’s impossible.”

“We’ll see about that,” Crowley grunted, jerking his head toward the henchmen.

I turned, not wanting to see any more blood than I had to for a change. “Can we go?” I asked, suddenly not willing to be part of any torture or death. I just wanted to be back with Y/N. 

Sam frowned at me. “Are you sure?” he asked, confused by my sudden about turn on the subject of killing the witch.

“Crowley can take care of this,” I muttered, pushing past him. It felt like a blackness had taken hold of my insides, twisting and gnawing until there was nothing left. “I just…” I didn’t need to finish, as Crowley interrupted.

"I’ll see what I can get out of her.” He raised his hand, clicking his fingers and we were back outside.

The cold air felt good, even with the slight tinge of nausea from the teleportation; Sam took the initiative and led me to the car.

I slept most of the way back to Kansas and dreamed of Y/N.

A part of me didn’t want to wake up.


	12. November

** _Dean_ **

“So, what do you want for lunch?” Y/N slid over to my side of the bed, or what we’d classified as such, wrapping her smaller arm around my waist. Her fingers traced the trail of hair leading from my belly button down to my groin, and I groaned loudly.

“You.” I muttered, pulling her up for a kiss.

“I don’t think I’m edible,” she giggled, squealing I flipped her underneath me.

"We’ll see about that.” I moved down over her belly, pausing to kiss the swell of her stomach, my nose inhaling her sweet scent before I focused on my main prize. Spreading her thighs, I ran one digit up over her slit, and she moaned, provoking a grin from me. “You sound delicious,” I pointed out, before licking her essence from my finger, “and you taste even better.”

“Dean, I’m starving,” she whimpered, but didn’t put up a fight as I buried my tongue in her soaked cunt, sucking and licking up every drop of her. I held her thighs apart, making sure she couldn’t block me out, and listened to the sweet sound of her orgasming on my mouth. “Deeeaaaan.”

Music to my ears. She kept panting my name over and over and -

Was that an alarm going off?

“What’s that beeping?” I asked, pulling back to look at her. “Did you set an alarm?”

“You need to wake up,” Y/N replied, sadly, and the room grew a little darker. I leaned back on my haunches, seeing her gloriously naked body disappear beneath a white sheet, the swell of my pups inside her completely covered. “Dean?” she repeated, her voice becoming distant and quiet. “You need to wake up.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I am awake, I’m -”

Ouch.

My memory faded.

The hospital room was stark white and hurt my eyes when I opened them. Sitting bolt upright, I felt Caitlin’s hand on my shoulder, and she was smiling gently at me. Sam’s scent was all over her, and my stomach dropped.

"It was a dream,” I muttered, looking over to my mate, still in the bed, still wearing that awful white gown, those coarse sheets over her constantly growing body.

Caitlin nodded, sympathy all over her face. She removed her hand from my shoulder, walking around the bed, doing her usual checks. “You were out for a while. Sam asked if I could wake you up. He’s gone to get you both some lunch.”

“‘M not hungry,“ I grumbled, reaching over to take Y/N’s hand. The Polaroid photo lay discarded next to her and I snatched it up. Obviously my body had grown tired of sleeping slumped over. "How is she doing?”

“No change.” Caitlin scribbled something on a chart, placing it at the bottom of the bed. “She’s still stable and the babies are doing fine.” She moved around the bed, sitting at the foot. I wondered when I’d gotten so comfortable with her - clearly she was making Sam happy, which I was grateful for beyond belief - but I never thought I’d be accepting someone new into our weird little family, while half of it was stuck in a hospital bed. “Have you…have you thought about names for the babies?”

I blinked up at her, shaking my head. “I…didn’t want to pick anything. In case she didn’t like it.”

She nodded; I hated the pity in her eyes. I knew she couldn’t help it but I still hated it. It was the look everyone gave me now. The scruffy Alpha, watching over his mate, even though it was likely she’d never wake up. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d gone back to the bunker for a shower and a shave. Maybe I should do that today.

“I think -” she started, and I could sense her apprehension. "Maybe you should think about it. I don’t want to be negative, Dean, but there’s a chance… you might have to raise these boys without her.”

The thought cut through me like a knife. It had done every time I’d had it. The second I’d found out about the babies, I’d been thinking about that. What kind of father would I be? Raising one child was hard alone, raising two?

Caitlin obviously picked up on my thoughts. “You know that Sam will help. Charlie and Garth too. And there’s still hope.” She smiled, trying her best to reassure me. “I don’t want to be too forward but…I’ll help too." 

I had an inkling that her and Sam had finally done the deed, but neither of them wanted to rub it in my face. Almost immediately I felt guilty, knowing that when you first bond like that, all you want to do is spend time together. 

Here I was, standing in the way of their happiness.

"I’m sorry, Caitlin,” I whispered, slumping down into my chair as she frowned at me. “This whole thing… I should be happier for you and Sam. I am, I know I’m not showing it, but he should be with you, not babysitting his broken older brother.” The Polaroid felt like it was burning in my hand and I tried not to acknowledge the evil little part of me that was glad I was interrupting their time.

If I couldn’t have my mate with me, why should Sam?

Because Sam had lost more than I had, a long time before I had it.

Caitlin didn’t seem to show any animosity towards me. Crouching down in front of me, she patted my forearm, giving me another of the kind smiles I didn’t deserve. “I’ve gotta do the rest of my rounds. Don’t worry about me and Sam, Dean. We’re figuring it out.” She got to her feet, her hand on my shoulder again. “It’s not like I can just call in sick for, y’know, that.”

I smirked at that, feeling like it was at least a little bit genuine.

She was heading for the door, giving me one last look that wasn’t quite a pitiful as before. “Eat something Dean. Get a shower. Rest a while. She’s in good hands.”

** _*****_ **

** _Sam_ **

His dreams were getting worse. He didn’t need to say anything, I just knew. I’d never seen my brother this broken before… but I’d seen it elsewhere. I’d seen that face in the mirror every day after Jess died. 

I knew exactly what he was going through.

That only made it worse that I couldn’t do anything. I guess I know how he’s felt all these years, looking at me and knowing I’d lost her. He’s in the same place, with only a slim hope that his mate would come back to him. It was like living on a knife edge between hope and loss, not knowing whether he’d ever see her open eyes again - at least I’d known, without a doubt, that Jess was gone. I didn’t have to hold onto a hope that might not come to fruition.

At least he ate more now. I think Caitlin had been helping with that.

I always felt warm when I thought of her now. Ever since we’d made it official, at her place of course - the bunker wasn’t really the most romantic setting - I’d had to resist the urge to find her every five seconds in the hospital. Felt like a teenager again, but it was nice. To have something bright in the midst of all the darkness.

I knew Dean felt guilty that he was stopping us from having our time together, but it wasn’t entirely that. She had a job to do as well, and I wouldn’t ever take that from her. I liked that she was so keen on helping people. Just made her even more beautiful.

Slipping into the hospital room with two sandwiches in my hands, I found Dean gone, and Castiel stood by Y/N’s side, just watching her. He looked up as I came in, and I frowned, dropping the food on the table at the end of the bed.

“Where’s Dean?”

“He asked me to take him back to the bunker and return here to watch Y/N. Charlie was unavailable - she went to check on Garth and help out with a case.” He was always so matter-of-fact, the angel friend of ours. Made him even more endearing. “Said he was feeling pungent.”

“That’s a long word for Dean,” I chuckled, sitting down by Y/N’s bed. Castiel just stood there, looming over her like some statue. “No change.”

“Not in Y/N, no. But the babies,” Cas lowered himself into a chair, his eyes locked on the bed, “it is fascinating watching them grow.”

“I forget you’ve never really been around this stuff,” I replied, reaching for my sandwich and ripping the packet open. They only had white bread in the store, which wasn’t my preference, but I was pretty hungry, so it would do. “Pregnancy is pretty weird.”

“It isn’t weird,” the angel chuckled in amusement. “Just this morning, boy one understood sound for the first time. It was Dean talking. He’s still processing that information.” He reached out as I watched, placing a hand on Y/N’s belly. They’d had to elevate her bed a little more to prevent any swelling in her feet. “It’s amazing how quickly they grow.”

“Wait until they’re out. Dean always said I grew like a weed,” Sam paused. “How do you know it was Dean’s voice he was reacting to?”

For a second, he was quiet. “I’ve been here,” he admitted, removing his hand from Y/N’s stomach. “I like to stay and watch over them. They’re very… important to me.”

I grinned. “Uncle Castiel.” He frowned. “Uncle Cas. It’s got a ring to it.” Taking a bite out of the sandwich, I chewed it, watching the angel puzzle over my comment.

“But I am not their blood relation.”

Unexpected laughter nearly had me choking on the thick slice of tomato I’d just chewed. “Doesn’t matter,” I rasped, punching my own chest to clear the blockage, finally swallowing it entirely. “You’re family, Cas. So you’re gonna be an uncle to those kids whether you like it or not.“

He shifted, looking down at Y/N. "It is an honor to be considered as such. One I am not sure I am worthy of.”

“Family doesn’t end with blood,” I quoted, a wistful smile on my face. “Man, wish Bobby were here. He always knew what to do.”

Cas frowned again. “No, he didn’t.” He blinked when I gave him a pointed look and the penny dropped. “You’re saying that to comfort yourself.” There was a pause; I took another bite of my food, waiting for the expected follow-up. “Yes. Bobby Singer would have known what to do." 

I tried not to laugh, going back to my sandwich.

The next time I looked up, he wasn’t there. Or he was invisible. It was kinda sweet, him watching over Y/N when no one else could. Made me feel a little better than she was never alone.

Don’t know if Dean would have seen it that way. He tended to growl at anyone who came near her lately. Except for me - I’d never been a threat to him.

I settled in for a while, picking up the copy of Lord Of The Rings that Charlie had left behind, pulling my chair closer to Y/N’s bed. Leaning on the edge of the bed, I located the neatly folded bookmark, opening the epic tale to the page I’d left it on.

_“So it was that in the light of a fair morning King Théoden and Gandalf the White Rider met again upon the green grass beside the Deeping-stream…..”_

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

Her hands were gentle as they soaped up my back, and I leaned into her, enjoyed the soothing presence of her scent around me. I moaned softly when her fingers slipped over my ass, around to my front, wrapping around my cock without preamble. Pressing her cheek against the middle of my back, she started to stroke me, slowly, just enough to get me fully hard.

It didn’t take much encouragement to turn around and I swallowed down her yelp of surprise with my lips, my hands finding her already hardened nipples and twisting them enough to make her hum against me. Her soapy hand kept hold of my dick, moving at a steady pace and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came.

Breaking away from her mouth, I turned her, causing her to release me; she muttered an approval when I placed her hands on the cold tile, spreading her legs with one knee. The soap and water combined to allow me a smooth entrance into her body, and I stilled when my pelvis pressed into her ass, content to just stay there forever.

She was not so content.

Moving back against me, she gyrated her hips, making my cock hit a different angle. It was a fight not to release her hands and slam into her. Instead, I allowed my hips to move with hers, rocking into her from behind, the water making a pornographic sound as we collided over and over.

"Dean…” Her voice was drowned out by my panting and the spray hitting the rubber shower mat after covering our bodies, but it was enough to spur me on. My pace quickened a little and I looked down to watch myself moving into her, her pussy accepting me readily. She whimpered just as I felt the first flutterings of her orgasm around my dick.

"Come for me, baby,” I whispered in her ear and she screamed, letting go, pulling me straight over the edge with her. I bit down into her shoulder, leaving a perfect imprint of my teeth; she shuddered, letting me finish riding out the bliss inside her.

When I pulled out, I turned her around, kissing her tenderly, my hands moving down to caress her stomach.

Something was wrong.

This was all wrong.

Y/N looked at me, her eyes almost dead.

I sat up with a gasp, heaving lungfuls of air into my chest as I looked around the cold bedroom I’d once claimed as home. It was dim, lit only by a single lamp across the room, and I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.

I’d intended on a shower, but as soon as I’d seen the bed, I was out cold on it. I wasn’t even sure how long I’d been unconscious. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I checked the time, seeing a few messages from Sam, and one from Castiel and Charlie. Garth had tried to call.

Somehow, I had slept for nearly twelve hours.

Panic seized me and I bolted from the bed, having the quickest shower mankind had ever seen, forgoing the shave before praying to Cas. I’d left Baby at the hospital and I was hoping he’d answer quickly. A rustle of wings, and he was in front of me, cocking his head to the side.

“You look well rested,” he commented and I scowled.

“You should have come back here and woken me up.”

“I was not given any instruction to do so,” he pointed out. “And Sam said you needed rest. Nothing has happened in your absence. Y/N continues to sleep. The babies continue to grow. Sam continues to pine over his new mate. Charlie is still at the safe-house with Garth.” He frowned as I continued to scowl. “There was no need to wake you.”

“I should have been with her.”

“You are not of any use to your mate if you cannot function,” the angel argued, and I felt that urge to punch him again.

“Take me back to the hospital, Cas.” I demanded and he sighed, his shoulders sagging. Reaching out, he touched my arm and the room span, nausea filling my stomach, bubbling up to leave a foul taste of bile in my throat.

It was at that point my brain decided I was hungry as hell.

“Dean!” Sam sat up straight, running a hand through his mussed up hair. He’d obviously been sleeping in the chair I normally occupied. “You’re back!”

“You should have sent Cas to wake me up,” I growled, angry for no good reason. Sam climbed from my chair, putting the book he’d had in his hands to the side. I glanced at it, ignored it, and retook my place at Y/N’s side. “I didn’t want to be gone that long.” The dream I’d had was obviously the cause of my grumpiness but I wasn’t about to tell them anything about it.

Sam shrugged. “You needed the rest. Nothing happened.”

Castiel raised a hand. “I already explained that to him.”

“Not the point.” My stomach grumbled, and I spotted a sandwich on the table. Sam grimaced. “How long has that been there?”

“Long enough that I suggest you don’t eat it?” he advised, grabbing his jacket. “Look, I’ll do a run. Pick you up a nice greasy burger and a milkshake. You just… chill out, yeah?” I felt bad almost instantly, but didn’t wipe the foul expression off my face. I wanted the memories of that dream gone. It felt wrong. Sam didn’t wait for an answer from me, sharing a look with Castiel before he ducked out of the door.

The angel remained after my brother had left and I wasn’t sure why. He sat next to me, just watching her like I did, and it was a long time before either of us spoke.

Surprisingly, it was me who broke the silence, with the strangest request I’d ever made of my friend.

“Do you think you could… can I feel them again?” I wasn’t even sure if it was possible, but I had to ask. Just that connection… remembering the feel of it… I wanted it again.

Castiel smiled.

“Of course.”

*****

Thanksgiving was coming up. There were plastic turkeys and decorations everywhere. I don’t know why I was finding it so hard to be grateful for what I had. It was stupid really, because despite the fact that my mate was in an unresponsive coma, unlikely to ever wake up, she was still carrying my pups.

I was trying so hard to be thankful for that.

Sam having someone new in his life was another thing I was trying to be thankful for. Caitlin was amazing. She continued to act as Y/N’s OBGYN nurse, constantly checking on her, more than she probably should. I wasn’t sure when Sam explained the whole weird life we led to her, but she seemed to accept it without question. I guess, working in a hospital, she’d seen her fair share of weird things.

I talked to Y/N, every day. We all took it in turns to read to her. Sam had plowed through the rest of the Lord Of The Rings and Charlie had started reading The Hobbit. I picked a different set of books to read to her, ones I remembered my mom reading to me.

I started with Fantastic Mr Fox. The babies liked that one. When I’d started, as soon as my hand was on her belly, they kicked, hard. According to Cas, they liked the sound of my voice, moving way more when I was around. It gave me a little boost, and helped me to carry on. I wished that she could hear me too, and ignoring the fact that she couldn’t was harder every time I read, but I didn’t stop.

Making my way through the Roald Dahl collection, I decided to skip The Witches. It was a little too close to home. But they seemed to respond to The Twits and James And The Giant Peach. I always liked that one. I guess, when I was a kid, an adventure away from everything seemed amazing.

My mom never finished reading it to me.

My dad never bothered reading to me at all after the fire and I’d only had comics to read to Sam.

I wouldn’t let that happen to my sons.

_My sons_.

That thought gave me pause, and I felt something ignite in my chest that had been burning a dull ache since Y/N passed out in my arms, all those months ago.

I felt hope.


	13. December

** _Sam_ **

Returning from the bunker, I was expecting to find the usual morose scene at the hospital. Dean had been slightly more upbeat as of late, but the amount of time he’d been spending with Y/N was increasing, although he was eating more. He showed zero to no interest in hunting, and I’d left on two hunts alone in the last month.

Christmas was fast approaching, and the decorations around the hospital were growing on a daily basis. Caitlin had managed to get Dean to agree to some tinsel and a little tree in Y/N’s room, but Dean was still being very Scrooge about the whole holiday. He didn’t care, and I could only think it was because the one thing he wanted, he was unlikely to get.

Walking through the hospital to find my way to the neurology department where they were monitoring Y/N, I smiled at the nurses as I passed. A lot of them knew me because of Caitlin, and I was glad we’d managed to get such a good and caring team.

Except for Dr. Osgood. He hadn’t been back since Dean had left a lasting impression on his throat.

Approaching the door to Y/N’s room, I paused, frowning in confusion at the sounds coming from the other side. There was a distinct melody, guitar and…

Dean singing.

I wrapped my fingers around the handle, pulling it down slowly, banging my foot against the door. Ordinarily, the thought of catching my brother in an embarrassing position would be something I’d not pass up, but this seemed like too intimate a situation to rib him about.

He was sitting on the bed, with his phone and a small set of portable speakers… was he using Spotify? Well, that was unusual. Dean didn’t normally play anything produced after 1980. One hand held the phone and the other was pressed just to the side of Y/N’s belly.

Upon seeing me enter the room, his singing stopped but there was no mistaking the joy on his face.

“Sam!” He waved me over and I shut the door, confused by his suddenly turn in mood. I don’t think I’d seen him smile like that since before this all started. “You gotta feel this, man.” He grabbed my hands as I neared the bed and the shock of his movement almost made he pull back. 

Dean didn’t do touchy-feely. This sudden invasion of my personal space was putting me on edge.

Not that he noticed.

“Put one here.” He placed my left hand on the underside of Y/N’s belly and I felt my cheeks flush. He didn’t normally like anyone touching her like this. “And that one there.” My right hand was put just to the side where his hand been, and he pulled back, looking up at me, green eyes tired but sparkling. “Now, wait.”

He turned the music up a little and I recognized the song as one of his favorites by Led Zeppelin. He started to sing along.

“_Mine’s a tale that can’t be told, my freedom I hold dear_.” He was watching me carefully, and I kept my eyes on him, still confused -

Wait.

Dean’s smile grew as he kept singing and then I felt it for definite. A hard thump from inside Y/N, almost in time with the music. A grin burst out on my face, matching my brother’s and he nodded.

“See? See?” He stood up, almost giddy. I wasn’t going to lie, it felt good to see him like that. “Pair of little rockers already. Caitlin gave these to me.” He motioned to the speakers. “I wasn’t sure at first, but she was saying something about it being too quiet, and that the babies like sound. So she showed me how to put songs on it and play it, and then… man, they love it! Everything. Sabbath, Metallica." 

He was grinning like a lunatic, more animated than I’d seen him in what felt like forever. Unexpected laughter left me as I felt another kick under my hand and I suddenly felt a burst of gratitude that Caitlin had landed in our lives, the Omega I’d never been looking for. She was already part of this family, and I could see the old Dean leaking back through in front of me.

He put a different song on and I left my hands where he’d put them, feeling the activities of my nephews under my palms. It was an amazing feeling.

And Y/N couldn’t feel it.

Somehow, that was the saddest thing I could ever imagine.

Dean sat back, putting his feet up on the smaller armchair beside Y/N’s bed, drumming in the air. I didn’t want to say anything to him but my joy at seeing him happy had turned bitter in my mouth and I wondered if he’d had the thought and fought through it, or whether it was yet to strike him.

For now, he was happy.

I guess that was all that mattered.

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

Cas appeared out of the blue, and scared the ever-living crap out of us both. He looked serious, but then it was always difficult to tell with him. "Dean.” He nodded in my direction. “Sam. I have good news.”

I sat upright, turning off the music that I’d been playing constantly. “What?”

The angel took a breath and I wondered if he specifically amped up the drama. I think he liked doing that. “I may have found a counter curse that will work. But it is complicated and I cannot promise results.”

“A counter curse?” Sam looked over at me, and I held my breath, not daring to hope too much. “I thought Natalia was the only one who could reverse the spell?”

“She can reverse the spell, yes. But this is a counter curse. It would negate the effects of the first curse.” Castiel looked between us and I dared to think that it might be a solution, no matter how simple it sounded.

“And we didn’t think of this before, because?” Sam asked, suspicious as usual. I wasn’t angry at him for it; if anything, having Sam on side meant that there would be no missed points - he’d be meticulous about checking the details. I would try, but I’d always miss that one thing.

Castiel sighed. “It was not an immediate solution and the path may not be desirable. We would have to cast a curse on Y/N to remove this one.”

“It sounds too simple.” Sam shook his head. “What sort of curse?”

“Anything would work, within reason. But I have found a curse that would work better than most, with no ill effects, and it does not require a witch to cast it.”

“Surely Natalia would have covered her bases with this?” I chewed on my lip, my eyes grazing over my still mate, wishing none of this was necessary. “She’ll be expecting this.”

“Not necessarily, if the curse we chose was one small, simple. Like, a sleeping curse.”

“But she’s already asleep?” I frowned. “Isn’t that the spell we’re trying to undo?”

“No. Her curse is specific.” The angel walked past Sam, looking down at Y/N. “I would propose a smaller curse, one with no blood magic. We cast the curse, and hopefully it will negate the properties of the current curse.” He looked up. “We would need a full moon to try it.”

“That’s in ten days,” Sam muttered, going over it in his head.

I held up a hand. “Wait, what do you mean, hopefully?”

“It’s a long shot. At the worst, the curse will do nothing, and it won’t cause any harm. We don’t have many other options.”

I looked down at Y/N. The worst bit was that she’d know what to do. But if she were here to tell me… she wouldn’t need to. My previous good mood faded, and I reached over, stroking her hair. It was dry and thin, and I hated how much she looked dead without being gone.

“Do you want to risk this, Dean?” Sam asked, and I noticed he’d moved around the bed, standing beside me. I was reminded of all the time we’d had each others backs, and how grateful I was to have him here. There was no doubt I’d have fallen apart way before now without him. “I can check everything. Double check. But we won’t do anything without your say so. She’s your mate.”

I nodded, wiping at my face. Jeez, I was tired.

“Ten days?” I asked and Castiel nodded, along with Sam. “Yeah. We can’t just let it pass. Let’s try. But only if nothing happens to her. Just that she wakes up.”

*****

I didn’t want to admit that I was a pessimist, but I spent the next ten days without leaving her side, except to use the restroom and occasionally to get fresh air. Leaving her side wasn’t something I could deal with, and the closer the end got, the more I started to panic. And the more the dreams came. Vivid recollections of the small amount of time I’d had with her, every single one in such perfect detail that I’d wake up empty and wanting.

I wanted her back. So much that it was tearing me up inside.

Sam and Castiel were there, the evening before the spell, waiting for the moon to be at its peak. Christmas was thirteen days away, and I wanted more than anything for Y/N to be awake for it. Sam had checked everything in the curse several times over, and it looked okay. I was allowing myself that hope I’d denied before, despite my inner voice telling me it was a bad idea.

All that could happen was that she stayed asleep. The spell wouldn’t hurt her.

At a quarter to midnight, Sam left, Cas disappearing with him. I pulled my chair close to her bed, holding her hand tightly, keeping my eyes on her face. I wanted to be the first thing she saw when she woke up.

“You’re gonna be home with me soon, baby.” I whispered, trying to distract myself. “We’ll pick one of the rooms in the bunker for the boys. Paint it blue with rockets and… ducks or something. I’ll cut back on hunting. We’ll be a proper family.” I chuckled. “Sam and Caitlin won’t be far behind, the rate they’ve been banging. All these pups running around, we won’t have time for anything else." 

I reached up, placing my hand on her belly, feeling the movement underneath. They weren’t as active as they usually were, but it was night-time. I’d read in one of those books that they calmed down and had a natural circadian rhythm from a young gestational age. 

"You’re gonna get to feel this. You’re gonna be awake when our boys are born,” I murmured. There was no way of knowing if I was speaking the truth, but it felt better to say it out loud. I was useless with words. And useless in situations like this. I had nothing to fight, nothing to punch or shoot…this wasn’t my element.

I brushed her hair out of her eyes, smiling despite the tears in mine. There was nothing else I could think of to say, so I sat in silence, watching her breathing, feeling the odd kicks from the pups in her belly.

At three minutes past midnight, her body tensed, and I sprang up, gripping her hand tight, willing her to squeeze back, waiting for her eyes to open. Her mouth dropped and I held my breath, hearing her breathing change.

At four minutes past midnight, the seizures started. Her body jerked and shook, and in a panic, I slammed my hand on the emergency button.

At five minutes past, the room flooded with staff, including Caitlin, who looked at me in worry. I shook my head, unsure if she even knew what we had planned.

“Any history of seizures?” one of the doctors asked, and I opened my mouth, but found myself unable to reply. I settled for shaking my head again, stepping back out of the way, even though I was desperate to be right beside her. 

“She’s bleeding” another doctor said, standing back, and I looked down. Blood was dripping from the bed, quickly saturating the blankets. “Is that amniotic fluid too?”

It was like a horror movie. Nothing felt real.

Caitlin’s hands were on my shoulders, and I could hear the doctors talking between themselves as they tried to stabilize her. “The seizures triggered labor,” Caitlin explained, almost having to translate for me.

“No!” Panic seized my heart in an icy grip. “You can stop it right? She’s only thirty-four weeks! They can’t be born yet.” I surged forward but Caitlin grabbed me, holding me back as the doctors completely ignored me, unhooking all of the machines and rolling my mate from the room. “They’re too small!” I cried, almost sobbing into the smaller nurse’s arms. 

Nothing I’d read had prepared me for this.

“Dean,” Caitlin shushed, holding my shoulders. “You gotta calm down. Come with me, we’ll get you into some scrubs and you can be there. Okay?”

“They’re too small…” I repeated and she shook her head.

"We’ve got a fantastic unit here, okay? I’ll talk you through everything. It’s quite common for twins to be born early.” I wasn’t sure whether she was telling the truth or placating me but I followed her anyway. Pulling my phone out before she took it off me, I fired off a text to Sam, a simple 911. I wasn’t sure if the spell had caused this, but either way, we had to face the consequences.

*****

The room was white and stark as I watched them prep Y/N for surgery. I stayed propped on a stool by her head, stroking her hair, whispering soothing words despite her not being able to hear me. After a quick test of responses, they decided against anesthetic because she was in a non-responsive coma. Her status wasn’t likely to change and they needed to get the babies out. I could hear them, but I didn’t acknowledge their words - even if I had, I wouldn’t have known what they meant.

About half an hour in, the steady beep of her heart was comforting me, and I wondered how stupid I looked in blue scrubs, a surgical hat and gown, and the mask covering half my face. Y/N would have laughed if she could see me. Sam would too. I didn’t even know if they’d got my message, or if they were here.

Caitlin came in, dressed in similar attire, placing a hand on my shoulder. “The first twin is about to be born,” she said quietly. “Do you want to hold him?” I nodded, unable to speak for fear of bursting into tears. 

Standing from the stool, I watched them work. I’d never seen anything so gory, and I’d ripped monsters apart before. But this… this was… different. It was life, I supposed. I was used to dealing with death.

The small body they pulled from my mate was almost blue, and the nurses quickly covered it with a blanket, rubbing its back. I was aware of Caitlin’s comforting touch on my arm, but I couldn’t do anything except stare as they turned to me, and a high pitched wail filled the room.

Probably the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

“Say hello to your son,” one of the other nurses whispered, handing me the bundle she carried, and I stared down at the tiny person I’d helped create. They’d cut the umbilical cord, and put one of those funny little pegs on it, and the blanket was covered in blood and other things from his arrival, but fuck, he was perfect. 

Ten little fingers and ten little toes. His mom’s nose - I could see it already. A thatch of dark fuzz on his head.

Time stood still as I held him, and his eyes opened, blurry and dark, but open, and his cries lowered to a tiny whimper. I held him in one arm, though he was so small, I only really needed one hand, and used my other to touch his miniature fingers, grasping at air. He latched onto one digit straight away and I felt my chest swell. A feeling like I’d never known swept through me and the atmosphere of the room started to crackle. I knew then that this tiny person had changed me forever.

Somewhere in the background, the beeping of the machines got louder and more erratic.

“Dean." 

The gasp of my name made me move, looking back over to Y/N. Her eyes were open, and she was reaching for me as I stood there, our son in my arms. She was awake.

And then she screamed.

The doctors freaked, and the newborn child was taken from my arms as I was shoved to the side. The whole room dissolved into chaos, with the coma patient suddenly and inexplicably awake and able to feel everything. It became a rush to sedate her, and to get the other baby out before he became distressed. My first born was wheeled from the room, possibly to NICU, but I couldn’t ask. Caitlin was busy helping and in the midst of it all, I fell to my ass, tears streaming down my face.

"She’s bleeding out.”

“Did you nick an artery?”

“She moved! There’s too much blood to visualize.”

“How the hell is she awake?!”

“We need to drain this quick.”

“Get the other baby out, now.

Words mixed together in a blur, and it became too much. The heart monitors bleeped and screamed, Y/N fell silent and my heart thundered in my ears as I looked down at my gloved hands. There was blood there, from where I’d held my son.

"She’s crashing.”

The two words split through my confusion, and I looked up, terror on my face as the noise of the machines curled through my mind like a nightmare. I could only manage one word, and it came out a strangled whisper as I watched them pull paddles out to shock her.

“No.”


	14. December (Continued)

** _Reader_ **

I’ve never felt like a lump of concrete before.

Opening my eyes seemed too hard so I didn’t bother, trying to feel my extremities and conjure up whatever I could remember. It was foggy, like the memories were sunken underwater.

The witch.

Feeling that pink haze take hold.

Had she drowned me?

Sounds started to filter through and I just about registered them. Machines, beeping - and something hurt. My stomach? My legs?

What the hell did she do to me?

The two pink lines on the pregnancy test suddenly jumped to the forefront of my mind as I heard the sound of a baby somewhere near me. There was a hand on me, maybe my wrist, my forearm?

Fuck.

Forcing my eyes open, I was assaulted by the brightness of the room around me, and the mask obscuring half of my vision. That explained the clean tasting air I’d been inhaling.

There was a figure beside me, dressed entirely in pale blue. Rolling my head to the side, I started to worry that something had gone seriously wrong. Why else would I be in hospital?

The figure turned, bestowing green eyes on me and I realized who it was. I couldn’t scent him with the mask on my face but with my senses starting to sharpen, I could _sense_ him, at least a little. My Alpha.

_Dean._

His body was facing me front on now and he was holding a tiny bundle in the crook of his right arm. Moving my lips, I swiped my tongue across them to try and lessen the dryness, croaking his name through the mask.

The second his eyes met mine, I felt _everything_.

Someone was cutting me. Cutting _into_ me.

I screamed. Dean disappeared and eyes I didn’t recognize looked down at me, holding me down. It felt like I was being torn apart inside out and I couldn’t stop screaming.

The needle in my arm barely registered until the smooth warm buzz of morphine spread outward from the penetration. I clung desperately to alertness but it took less than ten seconds before I was unconscious again.

I was home. Back in my old bedroom, on my bed, face down on the pillows with Dean’s hand resting on my ass. Smiling, I turned my head to look at him, drinking in his sleeping face. It felt like I hadn’t seen him in months.

Reaching out with one hand, I traced his nose, connecting the freckles. He screwed up his whole face as the move disturbed him and he reached out blindly to drag me into his body.

“Missed you,” he muttered, eyes still closed. “I hate sleeping sometimes. Feel like I’m losing time with you.”

“I feel like I’ve been asleep for centuries,” I whispered, breaking off into a yawn. “Guess I was tired. Had a really weird dream though.“

Dean frowned, finally opening his eyes to look at me with concern. "What kind of dream?”

“You were there but you were holding a baby. And someone was hurting me. I don’t remember much else. Oh, and a witch. I think.”

“That sounds a little crazy,” he smiled, kissing me softly, “but then, you must be crazy. You’re with me.”

“You’re just as crazy,” I murmured, pressing closer, enjoying the warmth and taste of him. His hands were running through my hair, pulling me closer, as he kissed me with more and more desperation. “Make love to me, Dean,” I begged, little more than a whisper and he nodded, his body hard against mine.

The both of us took our time undressing from the flimsy sleepwear we wore because it was too hard to pull away. It was almost like I hadn’t touched him in months, desperate to remember what he felt like. As he finally pushed into me, I groaned his name loudly, cumming quick and hard under his skilled touch. He followed just as quickly but didn’t knot me. It happened that way sometimes - this wasn’t about mating, it was about something entirely different.

“If this is a dream, I don’t ever wanna wake up,” I sighed, curling up on his bare chest. Dean chuckled, his hand combing out my ridiculous sex hair.

“Maybe it’s not a dream,” he said. “Feels like heaven to me. Maybe we’re dead.”

I slapped his chest. “Don’t say things like that.” Dean laughed, rolling over to tickle my sides. I giggled, but he tickled harder and I yelped. “Dean, stop it, that’s hurting.” He didn’t stop, his fingers practically digging into me.

Was that blood? 

Pain lashed at my sides and I tried to push him away, tried to shout at him but my arms were heavy and my throat was sore.

I couldn’t breathe.

Dean’s face swam in and out of focus, the bedroom completely gone. Everything hurt, something held me down, filling my throat until I couldn’t scream anymore.

I let go.

For a little while, there was nothing but black. The odd voice but I was too tired to listen. What had happened? Why did it feel like my throat was still held in a hard grasp?

“Calm down, calm down, please, Y/N -”

The voice speaking grew clearer and I didn’t recognize it. Attempting to calm myself, I forced my eyes to open and look at my assailant, breathing furiously through my nose. I wanted to puke but whatever was in my throat was stopping me.

A strange Omega greeted me when I opened my eyes. She was clearly a nurse, her pastel uniform and neat hairstyle giving her away. But that wasn’t what threw me.

She smelled like family.

"Y/N, calm down.” Her hands were on my shoulders. “I’ve called for the doctor, okay? My name is Caitlin." 

I attempted to answer, coming up against the tube in my throat, gagging around it.

The door opened and Caitlin stepped away just as I started to panic. Another woman was leaning over me, giving me a kind smile. “You’ll need to calm down, Y/N, and we’ll get the tube out, okay?” I managed to nod, even though my heart was pounding hard enough that I could feel it behind my eyeballs.

Minutes ticked by and I tried to calm my breathing, obeying the doctor-woman’s instructions so I could get the damn tube out of my throat. When it was gone, I felt like I was going to vomit lava but an empty stomach only resulted in useless retching.

I burst into tears.

“Hey, hey,” Caitlin returned to my side, stroking one hand over my shoulder. “Dean’s on his way.”

“Who…” I couldn’t force the words out and she grabbed for a plastic cup of ice chips on the nightstand. 

“Take it easy. No rush.” The door opened and she stood straight, giving me a direct line of sight to the newcomers.

Dean was frozen in the doorway, obscuring Garth from view, his eyes fixed on me. I choked out a sob, lifting one shaking hand; it spurred him forward and I found myself crushed in a hug that hurt a little. When he pulled away, we were alone in the room.

Dean’s voice sounded tired as he mumbled my name, pulling back to cup my face, his thumbs wiping away my tears. "God, I thought you’d never wake up. Thought I’d lost you for real this time.”

How long had I been out to cause this reaction?

“Dean…” I managed, looking up at him, confused as hell. I couldn’t remember what had happened after Natalia had turned up at the house, after she’d frozen me to the spot? Had I passed out? Did she hurt me? “What happened?”

“You were cursed,” Dean muttered, sitting on the side of the bed. I shook my head, not quite understanding it.

“How long was I out?” He swallowed and I knew there was more to this that I wasn’t going to like. “How long, Dean?” I forced, terror clogging my throat.

“Nearly six months.”

Freezing dread curled around my heart, seizing it in a vice like grip. I moved my hand to my stomach, wincing when I localized the discomfort, numb with morphine. “The baby…”

“Babies.”

His correction made me snap my head up in confusion, searching his face for an answer. Dean’s expression cracked and he laughed, tears running down his cheeks.

“We’ve got two baby boys, Y/N,” he informed me and I couldn’t do anything but stare at him in shock. “They’re beautiful. As soon as we can -”

“I was… I was asleep the whole…” God, I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. My heart was thundering, the sound echoing in the mechanical beeps from the machines beside me. I couldn’t fill my lungs quick enough - Dean gripped my shoulders.

“It’s okay,” he promised. The lie made me want to scream. I’d slept for over five months and missed _everything_. “They’re okay. They’re -”

“I wanna see them,” I demanded, my cold tone making him stop and take a second. “I - I…” What the fuck was I supposed to say? Should I be grateful that I’d been ripped from one point in time and dumped somewhere else without the benefit of knowing anything? How could I be a mom when I didn’t remember _growing_ them?

“I know,” Dean murmured, forcing one hand onto my shoulder to relax me. “And you can.”

“When?”

He wasn’t used to me being short with him and I could see the frustration on his face. No doubt he’d been suffering but I wasn’t going to stop poking the bear. Something precious had been stolen from me and I wanted it back.

No matter how impossible that was.

“Y/N… you need to know what happened,” Dean urged, unwilling to let go of my hand. “I’m gonna tell you everything okay?” He sighed, dropping his gaze and I frowned - guilt was all over his face. “I’m so sorry, baby. This is my fault.”

I couldn’t help the disgusted noise I made. “You’re such a pity party,” I growled, making him look at me with surprise. “Of course it’s your fault. It’s your fault when the grocery store is out of milk. The sky could turn bright green and it would be your fault.”

“How much morphine did they _give_ you?”

I snorted at that. “Not enough.” There was a second of silence and I grimaced, closing my eyes when a memory came back to me. “I woke up.” He frowned. “I woke up when they were -”

“Yeah,” Dean admitted, stroking his thumb over my knuckles. “That… that definitely was my fault.”

*****

I don’t ever recall sitting in a wheelchair before. Hospitals were not high on my list of places to visit - I hated getting shots, for one - and now I was rendered incapable of walking due to the serious internal injuries I’d suffered giving birth to my sons.

Sitting in a wheelchair was weird but not as weird as knowing I was about to meet my two sons for the first time since they’d been born days ago.

Dean had filled me in on everything, from Natalia’s curse, to Sam and Caitlin, to Charlie going on a date with a cute ER nurse. He didn’t leave anything out. He held my hand the entire time, told me the absolute truth and when he’d finished, I had a million questions. 

But I didn’t ask one of them except for one I’d already asked.

"Can I see my babies?”

My Alpha was more than happy to oblige and had located the wheelchair, helping me into it. I had to keep the damn IV pole with me, and it hurt to move from the C-section wound. Dean wheeled me slowly through to the NICU, where my sons were in a single crib next to each other. 

Sam and Caitlin - now I knew who she was, I smiled at her upon entering the unit - were already there, keeping watch in the waiting room.

“They tried to put them in separate cribs but…” Dean chuckled, shaking his head. “They didn’t like that so they found a bigger one to accommodate them both.”

I reached out a hand to the plastic between me and my children. 

"They’re strong and healthy,” he continued. “This is just a precaution because they were early.”

Pressing my nose against the case, I took in every detail. Dressed in tiny blue onesies, they were so small, but perfect, both of them exactly the same. Identical little boys. I could see their father in them already. The boy closest to me gurgled, turning his head, bright green eyes looking at me.

I felt tears sting in my eyes. Little fingers curled, tiny little nails…they were more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.

“Have you named them?” I asked, genuinely not worried if he had but Dean shook his head.

“At the moment, they’re Winchester One and Winchester Two.”

I giggled, despite the situation, and motioned to the nurse, who came over. “Am I…can I hold them?”

“Of course you can, sweetheart,” she exclaimed, beaming at me. “We’ve been giving them your milk but I suppose now is as good a time as any to show you how to feed them.” I went blank, looking down.

“I…I haven’t prepared for any of this.”

My boobs had. They were full and aching, they had been since I’d woken up only an hour ago.

The nurse smiled lightly, sympathy accentuating her wrinkles. “We heard about your accident. Your boys are little fighters, four days old and doing so well.” She turned, opening the NICU crib, picking up one of the twins and handing him to me.

I felt like she’d handed me a precious vase, a very _breakable_ precious vase. He was so tiny…

Was I crying again?

I’d held babies before. This didn’t feel like that. This was holding the world in my hands and right then, I knew I’d never love anyone or anything more than my children. I’d kill to protect them.

Dean was holding the other boy now and I wished I had the strength to hold them both. “There’s a private room this way,” the nurse offered, “so you can feed them if you like.”

“What do I do?” I asked, blinked at her. I didn’t know the first thing about… anything.

“Just hold him near to your breast,” she instructed gently. “He should figure out the rest but you can call if you’re having any problems.” The door closed on her and I looked up at Dean, my bottom lip wobbling.

"Is this…is this what it’s like?” I whispered, watching him take a seat opposite me in the small lounge-like area. When he looked down at his son, I saw his face twist into something I’d never seen before as he nodded. “To love someone so perfectly… that you’d fight the world to keep them safe?”

My mate smiled. “It’s what woke you up.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Natalia said that the only way to wake you was to stop loving you.” Dean looked down at the baby in his arms. “And for a split second, holding this little guy… I did. Because I loved him more than anything in the world.” I understood that but that didn’t mean I was about to _not_ cry again. Fucking hormones. “I guess it was enough to break the curse.”

“And the counter curse that Cas did?”

Dean shook his head at the inferred question. “No. She’d placed a protection on her spell. It shouldn’t have hurt you but I guess she didn’t account for pregnancy when she’d originally come up with it.” He looked away. “Human error was what nearly took you from me. But I can’t blame anyone for that. It happens. And you’re here, now, with us.”

I looked back down, watching my son squirm towards my boob underneath the gown. With my free hand, I pushed it down, allowing him to get at my nipple. When his little mouth secured around it, I hissed at the brief pain. 

“How do you know he was the one born first?” I asked, not able to see any difference between the babies.

Dean grinned, getting up to bring the second boy closer. “I can tell them apart. They look identical, but see, this little guy has a birthmark.” He turned his arm slightly, showing me the tiny circular mark. “Just above his collarbone. It’s like a little brown circle.”

A slight pang of jealousy hit me that Dean had got more time with them than I did - but it wasn’t his fault. Changing the subject seemed like a good course of action. “We need to name them. Can’t call them One and Two the rest of their lives.”

He nodded, holding out his finger to the boy in his arms, who gripped it tightly, flexing his tiny little hands. “I wanna call him Bobby. Robert Winchester.” I was expecting that. Bobby was a prominent figure in his childhood, the man had practically been his father after John died.

But it seemed odd he would mention Bobby and not John. “What about your dad’s name?” Dean shrugged at my question.

“I don’t know if it’s… if it feels right,” he sighed. “I loved my dad. But I know he wouldn’t think this was a good idea.”

Sometimes, Dean was about as dense as they came. “He’d be over the moon,” I said, forcing him to look at me. “You know he would be.” He didn’t answer, watching Bobby gum at his finger. “He should be John,” I decided. “John Peter Winchester. After both our dads.“

A smile lit his face.

*****

The worst thing about hospitals is the looks from strangers. 

And not being able to stand on my own without someone in scrubs telling me that I had to be in a wheelchair or resting.

I just wasn’t the type to sit on my ass.

It was six days until Christmas and the twins were a week old. I got the hang of breastfeeding, though Dean was being a massive pervert about it. When I pulled him up on his staring, he smirked, and the reminder that it was their intended use didn’t seem to do much. 

He made me blush when he bent down, kissed me and whispered; "Sorry, but seeing the mother of my pups feeding them? Sexiest thing, ever.”

Giant softy.

Having had the pregnancy practically stolen from me, I spent as much time as I could in the NICU. They weren’t allowing the boys to leave until they’d gained enough weight and I wasn’t sure when I would be allowed home either. But then, we were still trying to figure out what the living arrangements would be.

When Castiel popped into my room one evening, when I was supposed to be resting and Dean was with the twins, I jumped out of my skin, pulling at the still-healing wound on my belly.

“Y/N.”

“Castiel,” I grunted, the pain making my insides clench. He approached the bed, reaching out with his hand and touching my side.

"You’re hurt.”

“I pulled a staple I think.” I watched as he flattened his palm, light glowing underneath it and my eyes shut automatically at the warmth of his touch. 

The pain was gone when I opened them again. “You healed me.”

“Yes,” he confirmed with a sharp nod. “You are no longer injured. I also healed the internal wounds, and the neurological trauma that the doctors hadn’t discovered.”

“What?”

He smiled a little awkwardly. “It was my fault, after all. The spell we cast was intended to save you, not to endanger you and your children. And as their uncle, I am duty bound to do my best for them. Which means helping you at this time.”

“Oh.” I was still struggling to figure out exactly how to deal with this strange creature. Dean trusted him, so I did too, but he was very very odd. “I’m gonna have to figure out how to explain that to the doctors.”

“I didn’t think of that.” He frowned. “I am unable to replace the wound.”

I laughed. “I don’t think I want it back. I’m sure I can…discharge myself or something.” Watching him, I chose my next words carefully. “Dean said you were here a lot during… everything.” He nodded, his impassive expression giving nothing away. “Thank you. For keeping watch over them.” It wasn’t just the twins included in ‘_them_’ and he nodded again, picking up on the subliminal message. “Where have you been the last week?”

“Keeping watch,” Castiel replied simply.

"Over the twins?”

“Yes,” he mused. “I find the miracle of my father’s creation quite intriguing. You and Dean have very astounding children.”

A laugh caught in my throat. “Castiel, they’re a week old. They make funny noises, poop and eat. That’s about it.”

“It does not make them any less of a miracle,” he pointed out and I smiled, reaching out to take his hand in gratitude for the sentiment.

“You’re gonna be a great uncle.”

*****

“Can we go home yet?” I whined, looking up at Dean. Caitlin had helped cover up the little secret of my wounds not being wounds but she’d suggested staying in the hospital for a couple more days to try and not attract attention to myself. I had agreed, but only because it meant I could be with the twins. They were taking them out of the NICU and placing them in a normal maternity ward, where I could join them, and they had to be there for at least two days. The doctors were happy with their progress; each twin had gained weight and were growing like weeds.

“I don’t know,” Dean replied, not looking at me from his position stood over the two cribs placed close together. He was like a guard dog, refusing to leave us and it was more than adorable. “They said they’re doing okay, but we haven’t sorted out where we’re actually gonna go, Y/N.”

“The bunker,” I announced. It had been the only thing on my mind while I was stuck in there. “Garth can take my house and keep it going. We’ll sort out getting my stuff… but I wanna be with you, Dean. And the bunker is the safest place on Earth that those boys can grow up.” I reached out, wanting him closer; Dean turned, taking my hand before sitting on the bed, looping his arm over my shoulders. I was finally back in my own clothes, having ditched the horrible hospital gown as quickly as possible. “You said something about a nursery?”

“I did.” Dean kissed the top of my head. “There’s plenty of rooms to choose from. They can sleep in with us until we’ve finished their nursery. Want them close to us for now.” I smiled, leaning into him. “And we can get new furniture and everything we need. I didn’t… I didn’t really think about it before now.”

“I know,” I smiled, pressing my face into his chest, “but we’ll figure it out. I’m awake, the boys are fine… everything is going to be okay.”

Dean smiled tightly and held me close for a second before his phone started to vibrate noisily. “I’d better go answer that. Might be Sam panicking about lunch.” I nodded, hearing the lie in his voice but not pushing it for now.

He slipped from the room, and I got out of bed the second the door closed, wandering over to the cribs, looking down at my sons. “Hope you don’t cause too much trouble.” I smiled, reaching down to touch both of them, receiving answering coos.

*********

**Dean**

I didn’t want to lie to her. But I couldn’t tell her what I was doing.

Answering the phone, I took a breath before speaking.

“_You there_?” the British voice on the other end drawled.

“I am.”

“_So, have you decided_?”

“She can’t live. If she escapes, she’ll come after Y/N and the boys. I can’t… I can’t rest knowing she’s out there.”

“_So she dies_,” Crowley hummed. “_I’ll take care of it, Dean. But you owe me_.”

“I can live with that,” I grunted. Owing the King Of Hell was nothing compared to knowing there was still a definite danger out there to my family. Natalia had to die. I shouldn’t care. She was a witch. But I wasn’t sure how Y/N would react to it. 

And there was the fact that I couldn’t do it myself.

Hanging up, I turned back to the door, walking up to it and seeing Y/N on the other side, with Bobby in her arms, talking to him and smiling. Inhaling deeply, I fixed a smile on my face and walked in.

I had to put this behind me.

There were more important things to focus on.


	15. January

** _Reader_ **

I stood back, admiring my handiwork on the larger of the two walls. Now, I’m not the DIY-about-the-house type, having always had some hunter or another around to repay my services with a spot of shelving or drilling. But I hadn’t done that bad a job with this. 

Brushing off my hands, I realized in dismay that the lack of paint on the floor was because I was covered in it. Frantically trying to clean my hands off on my thighs, I missed Dean’s entrance.

“Well, you look… ravishing,” he complimented, approaching me slowly.

“I’m covered in paint,” I pointed out, as if he were stupid; he chuckled in response, threading his fingers together over my belly from behind. Covering his hand with my own, I smiled as he pulled me back against his chest.

“You’ve done a good job,” he murmured, kissing the side of my jaw, forcing me to tip my head to the side. “But seriously, you look good enough to eat.”

“I really would like a shower,” I turned, giving him a quick peck on the lips before pulling out of his embrace and starting to clear up, “and this needs a few hours to dry, and then we need to air out before we can put the furniture in here.“

Dean pouted, but I ignored it, too busy running through my less than organised thoughts about where to put the crib, and the changing table, and…

Dean’s hands were on my ass.

"Dean?”

“You said you wanted a shower,” he growled, pulling me harder against his groin. “So I’m joining you. Then I’m gonna make sure you know how hot you are.” I gasped when his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of my pants, seeking out the wet juncture of my thighs. "Please baby… don’t deny me.”

I groaned, moving on his fingers. It wasn’t that I didn’t want sex, god, it wasn’t. But every time we tried, something interrupted -

Twin cries echoed down the hallway, and I rolled my eyes as Dean’s fingers froze.

There was that interruption.

“It’s like they _know_,” he grumbled.

“I got it!” Sam yelled down the corridor and Dean chuckled, holding me back as I went for the door. “Seriously, I got it!”

“I told him to keep an eye,” Dean grunted, not releasing me. “He’s good with them. Besides, Caitlin is on her way over.” His voice was low in my ear and a shudder forced my body to relax. I was happy to leave the twins with Sam for a moment. He had everything he needed and we hadn’t had any time together since they’d finally discharged them last week. “Now.” He kissed the back of my neck, his fingers resuming their exploration of my sensitive skin. “Where was I?”

“Talking about a shower,” I whispered huskily, whining when he sank his index finger inside me, crooking it slightly to reach that spot that made my insides curl with pleasure. “Uh, Dean!” When was the last time I’d even managed to get myself off?

I started to pant, so close to a long denied orgasm, it was unreal. Dean obliged, adding a second finger and twisting a little more to pump them inside me, scissoring them. With a muffled cry, I came hard, repeating his name over and over.

He slowly pulled his fingers away, licking them clean, grinding his erection into my backside. “Fuck the shower. That can wait. Can’t knot you in there without one of us breaking a leg. And baby, I gotta knot you.”

“Not in here,” I scolded, pushing away before turning to face him. “In our bed.” He grinned at me, taking my hand to pull me down the hall to the next room, the one that had once been his alone.

We hadn’t even had a chance to christen the sheets.

Rushing to plaster myself against his chest, I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him with more fervor than I thought I was capable of. “Knot me, Alpha.”

Dean growled, wrapping his arms around my waist, the momentum carrying us both onto the bed. I screeched in surprise and then dissolved into laughter, feeling his fingers hook into my jeans and rip them off as I wriggled further up the bed. My panties were quick to follow and as Dean stripped his own clothes off, I shed my top, flinging it to the corner.

He stood at the foot of the bed, his eyes roaming over my naked body, his erection jutting proudly from the thatch of pubic hair at his groin, weeping pre-cum and I licked my lips.

“Kinda wanna taste you,” I moaned, reaching for him, but Dean shook his head, dodging out of reach.

“I can’t,” he complained. “I’m already on edge. You do that and it’ll ruin the moment.” Catching my hands, he pinned them above my head, kneeling between my legs. A guttural growl rumbled through his chest as the tip of his cock brushed my swollen pussy. “Sweet Omega…” He nuzzled at my cheek, before capturing my lips in a kiss and sinking into me slowly.

"Dean!” My back arched my body off the bed and Dean released my hands, grabbing my hips to pin me down. His strokes were furious and hard, the thick length of his shaft splitting me open and yet I still craved more.

“I missed you so much.” He sounded like he was almost crying but he didn’t relent in his pace, slamming into me harder and harder until I couldn’t do anything except gasp and tear at the sheets. His knot swelled and he sank his teeth into my throat as he came, grunting against me. I couldn’t catch my breath, panting and clinging to him when he lowered his body over mine. 

His hips stopped jerking and I went limp, my cunt still twitching and pulsing around him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his forehead pillowed against my shoulder. “That was….” He lifted to look at me. “A little disappointing.”

That wasn’t the reaction I’d be looking for. I thought it was pretty damn great. “Why?”

“I guess I thought our first time would be more… romantic?" 

That was his takeaway? Neither of us had had sex in over six months and he wanted romantic? I just wanted to cum.

He chuckled at my expression. "Or not.” Bending his head, Dean kissed me thoroughly until I was begging for oxygen. His cock was still buried inside me, and I flexed my inner muscles, eliciting a groan from him. “Don’t do that.”

“Or what?”

“I’m sensitive.” He emphasized the point by rolling his hips, pressing his pelvis into my clit, and I whimpered at the sudden increase in pressure. “Seems like you are too.”

“I could use a nap,” I yawned - Dean wrapped his arms around me, rolling until I was comfortably draped over him, one leg hooked over his hip and my face buried in his shoulder. “We’re gonna have to make the most of these quickies with two kids around.”

“I’m aware,” he laughed, kissing the top of my head. “How soon can we start on the next one?”

** _*****_ **

** _Dean_ **

“So, that favor you owe me.”

Crowley’s voice made me jump out of my fucking skin, and I whirled on him, scowling. I’d only gone outside to grab some stuff from Baby’s trunk before I tucked her into the garage for the night, and here was the King Of Hell, showing up and making demands.

“What of it?” I asked, eyeing him warily.

“I’ve decided to cash in.”

I froze, letting the trunk of the Impala fall shut, forgetting the bag I’d left in there with the rest of the new clothes for Y/N and the boys. “And?”

“You stop hunting,” he said. “For good.”

I narrowed my eyes. “What?”

“You and Moose.” Crowley walked around me, keeping a wide circle, almost as if he was afraid I’d attack. “You quit hunting, settle down with your ladies and stay out of anything going on.”

“We can’t do that,” I replied, shaking my head. “You’re gonna have to think of something else.”

“That’s the deal, Dean. You owe me, remember? Or do you want me to fish Natalia’s soul out of hell and let her loose on your precious little family?" 

Red hot anger flashed through me; I lunged for the demon, only for him to disappear and reappear on the other side of the driveway. "That’s not going to cut it, Dean. You can’t lay a finger on me. Now, you gonna sign the deal or not?”

“No deal,” I growled, only to hear the bunker door slam shut behind me. Both of us looked over, seeing Y/N stood, her arms folded, and a deathly glare on her face.

“What the hell is going on here?” she demanded. “I come up here to see what’s taking so long, and find you at each other’s throats?” Her eyes focused on me. “What fucking deal, Dean?” My mouth opened and closed, and of course, Crowley decided to try and land me in it.

“I disposed of his witch problem. He agreed he owed me a favor. And now he’s not holding up his end of the bargain.”

She kept her eyes on me. “So he killed Natalia?” I nodded, unsure of her reaction, more concerned when there wasn’t one. She glanced to Crowley. “What was your offer?”

“Him and his brother quit hunting.”

Her eyes widened and she looked over at me. “And he refused.”

“Naturally.”

I swallowed, unsure of what was going to happen next. Y/N and I hadn’t discussed the future - not with regards to hunting. But I knew I wouldn’t give it up. It was too much a part of me and Sam. Of course, we’d be more careful, probably wouldn’t start any apocalypses for a few years. But I didn’t know if she wanted me to give it up.

“No deal, Crowley,” she said, looking back to him. “I won’t be giving it up either. It’s in our blood. Maybe I’m not the stab-em-and-kill-em type, but I’ll always want to help those out there.” She gestured to the woods around us, and I assumed she meant the rest of the world. “You’re asking too much.”

“I did explain the alternative to Dean.”

“What? That you were going to go find Natalia and set her loose again?” Y/N scoffed. “You don’t think she’d be gunning for you, just as much? You killed her. You’re public enemy number one. And we all know demons aren’t impervious to an angry witch.”

She had him there.

“That’s not the point.”

Y/N grinned. “Here’s my point. I believe your demons tried to kill me, several times. Well, I’m calling in a favor for that.”

Crowley scowled, clearly not used to be walked over by an Omega with a backbone. “Now, hold on a minute -”

"How about, you take your suit-covered limey ass outta here, and I don’t kill you for putting me in danger?” I blinked - I’d never quite seen this side of Y/N. She was all mama-bear right now, and Crowley could see it in her as much as I could. She reached behind her, pulling out the demon killing knife.

“It’d take more than that pig-sticker, darling,” Crowley mocked, but I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“If that was true, you wouldn’t need to say it. I’m giving you an opportunity, Crowley.” Y/N smiled, taking a step towards him. “Maybe this pig-sticker won’t hurt you but you forget how much I read. I can bring a thousand tortures, a thousand new problems to your doorstep. So call your fucking owings off, and get the hell away from my family.”

_Shit_, I loved her.

The King Of Hell watched her for a moment, considering his options. There was a good chance he could just kill us all with the snap of his fingers but we both knew… that wouldn’t stop a Winchester. Sighing heavily, he leveled us both with a dark glare. “You lot are more trouble than you’re bloody worth." 

He left, just as dramatically as he’d arrived.

My mouth dropped open and Y/N sagged, putting the knife back in the sheath at her waist. A shiver coursed through her, and I moved to her side, wrapping her in my arms.

"Have I told you recently that I love you?” I whispered, kissing her hard. She smiled.

“Not that I recall.”

“Well, I do.” I held her close, inhaling her scent. “I’m so fucking lucky to have you, my beautiful Omega.”

She blushed, standing on tiptoes to kiss me back. “And I’m cold. So let’s get inside.”

“Wait.” I held her close, smiling, feeling like I need to do it now. “I wanted… look, I don’t have a ring, or anything, but I swear I’ll get you the nicest one a fake credit card can buy.” She stared at me, wide eyed. “I just… I needed to ask… will you marry me?”

The air seemed to still as I worried at my bottom lip with my teeth, terrified she’d say no, even though it was kinda stupid. We were already mated, with pups, how could she say no?

“You actually think I’d say no?” she giggled before throwing her arms around my neck. “I can see you worrying about it, you great big loser. Of course I’ll marry you, Dean Winchester.”

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

“And then she threatens him, the King Of friggin’ _Hell_, and he just runs.” I smiled as I listened to Dean tell Sam what had happened the night before while Bobby nurse. John was asleep in his father’s arms, despite his animated story telling. “I tell you what, these boys are gonna have to watch themselves with a scary momma around.”

“I’m not that scary, Dean,” I pointed out, realizing that Bobby had finished and was slowly dozing off with one little hand caught in the strap of my bra. Winding him made him grizzle but as soon as I had two decent burps, I tucked him into the crook of my arm and let him doze off.

“He’s definitely mine,” Dean commented, watching me wipe the baby’s face of residual milk.

“So, I need to talk to you guys about something,” Sam said, slowly, tapping his fingers on his knee nervously. “About Caitlin.” Dean and I waited expectantly. “She’s gonna move in here. I want her safe, with me, and it’d be easier, and she’s still close to the hospital and -” He noticed that none of his arguments were being countered, and neither of us were doing anything but smiling at him. "What?”

“We thought she already had,” I chuckled, standing up with Bobby and walking over to his moses basket. Placing him inside, I cast a sideways look at my mate’s brother. “I mean, she’s always here. When she isn’t working, she’s here. We just assumed.”

“Oh.” Sam’s face was bright red. “I just thought… I’d better… never mind.”

Dean chuckled. “Anyway. I’ve got something I need to run past you, baby brother.” Sam rolled his eyes at the affectionate term. He glanced over at me and I smiled reassuringly. “I need a best man,” Dean announced. 

Sam’s eyebrows shot up so fast, I was worried they’d get lost in his hair. 

“I asked her, last night after the whole Crowley thing.”

“And she said yes?” Sam asked, and I grinned, rolling my eyes at the playful banter. “Are you sure they should have discharged you from neurology?”

“Very funny.” Dean kicked him under the table, causing the younger Winchester to yelp. “Anyway, need a best man. You up to the task?”

“Of course I am,” Sam laughed loudly. “Congratulations, man. I’m proud of you. You’re punching above your weight, though, you know that right?”

“Please, have you seen that hot little number you’ve hooked?”

“You two are both….” I sighed, throwing my arms up. “Incorrigible. Now, give me my babies, and you two can get lost for the night. Go celebrate. Be manly.” I paused. “Be home by midnight.” Both brothers nodded, grinning widely before standing, Dean handing over sleeping baby John as he went to follow his brother. 

As they headed out the door, I watched, happy and content, but needing to deliver one final warning.

“And don’t wake the babies. I’ll kill you both if you do.”


	16. Six Years Later

** _Dean_ **

I threw my duffel over my shoulder as I trudged into the bunker, sore from a night driving to get back from the hunt. I promised her I’d be home for my birthday and I was late. It just added to the feeling of disappointment I felt in myself lately. I missed Bobby’s first karate competition, and I missed John’s first soccer game.

It was amazing to me how different those boys were from each other, despite being twins. It was easy to tell them apart - they looked exactly the same, but I always knew who was who.

Sam slammed the bunker door behind him, and I tossed him a look, hearing nothing from the rest of the converted building. My brother shrugged, moving past me to head down the stairs, no doubt eager to see his Caitlin after a few days away. I followed, almost slumping my way down.

As I reached the bottom of the staircase, I lost sight of Sam and I turned with a sigh, wondering where everyone was. Maybe she was really pissed at me but I still didn’t wanna spend my birthday alone.

“Dean!” Sam’s shocked yell prompted me to burst into a panicked run, my bag discarded in the foyer, as I aimed for the library. Skidding to a halt inside, my eyes went wide as I saw what was waiting for me.

“Happy birthday!” The yell from everyone made me jump, and I frowned in confusion at the colorful hand-painted banners, balloons, and the pie in the middle of the table with three candles in it. Y/N stood, with Bobby in her arms and John at her side, all three of them wearing party hats. Caitlin was next to her and Charlie on the other side, while Castiel stood rather awkwardly at the other end of the table, a party hat lopsided on his head.

I wasn’t sure what to do or how to react.

“This is… this… wow,” I stuttered as Sam laughed.

“Happy birthday Dean,” he said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “Y/N text me this morning. Told me to stall you. That’s why I, er, fumbled a little.”

Irritated by the deception, I narrowed my eyes, maintaining my grumpy exterior. “Sneaky jerk.”

“Happy birthday, Daddy!” John ran to me first, hugging my legs and I chuckled, bending down to his level, just as Y/N let Bobby down from her hold. He ran to join his brother and with both of my boys in front of me, I couldn’t help but smile, pulling them both close. “We missed you,” John said, quietly.

Bobby nodded against my shoulder. “We’re not mad at you for missing our sports. Mom videoed them. We’re just glad you’re home and that the wendy monster didn’t eat you.”

Y/N laughed as she came up behind the boys, eyes twinkling as she looked down at me, the rising emotion in my chest making the top of my nose sting. I hefted both boys into my arms, making them both yell out happily. “I missed you too,” Y/N whispered, leaning up on tiptoes to place a soft kiss to my lips. "We wanted to surprise you for your birthday.”

“There’s pie!” Caitlin gestured to the pie in the middle of the table, surrounded by all the foods I loved. They’d even found those mini-Phili cheese steaks I’d had one a case years ago and never forgotten. “And lots of beer.”

“Sounds like my kind of party,” I laughed, dropping Bobby and John to the floor and letting them run off to the table. “Let’s eat and be merry.” I pulled my Omega close, kissing her again, a little deeper this time.

Bobby made a noise of disgust. “Yuck. Mom! Dad!”

John stuck his tongue out before he shoved a cocktail weiner into his mouth. “That’s how you get sisters!”

Y/N blushed as I laughed, my hands holding onto her hips, not willing to let her get too far away. “Do I get any presents?”

“The boys made you something. And I think Caitlin and Sam got you a little something.” She smiled coyly, lowering her voice. “I’ll give you yours later.”

“Oh, will you now?” I gave her my best wolfish grin, sliding one hand down to cup her ass where no one could see. She slapped my hand away and I laughed, taking her hand to pull her toward the table of goodies. “Let’s eat.”

** _*****_ **

** _Reader_ **

Dean was stretched out on the bed, groaning as several joints clicked. He was fully sated with food and beer, looking comfortable as I returned from checking on the sugar-filled small people. He’d stripped down to his boxers but wasn’t expecting me to lounge in the doorway wearing nothing but a smile and a skimpy black lingerie set that probably didn’t have enough fabric for what I’d paid for it.

The blood abandoned his brain and his boxers began to tent. “Fuck,” he muttered, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Did you just walk down the hallway like that?”

“It’s okay. No one saw,” I giggled, shutting the door as I moved into the room, my feet making no noise on the floor. “Why, would you have been jealous if they did?” My scent was thick, close to heat, and Dean’s nostrils flared as he picked up on it.

“Damn fucking right I would have been.” He sat up a little more. “Fuck, baby, you’re nearly in heat.”

I nodded, crawling onto the bed at his feet. “I didn’t want to say anything earlier. You didn’t seem to notice, what with the party and all.” He shook his head and I smiled, placing my hands on his thighs as his cock jumped beneath his boxers. “But I’m really close. And I’ve been thinking about you so much the last couple of days.”

“I bet,” he groaned as I stroked one finger over his hardness. “I was thinking about you too. Motel shower got a lot of action." 

Pulling his boxers down, I smirked when he lifted his legs, bending his knees to accommodate me. The fabric was flung across the room and I turned my attention to his cock. Dean’s throaty growl as I slipped my lips over his tip made me whimper against his skin. My hand wandered between my thighs and I could feel how wet I was. 

"You smell fucking delicious.” Dean muttered, his hand coming up to hold onto my ponytail. He didn’t move my head; he always allowed me to take my own pace when I did this, but tonight, I wanted to make him scream for a change.

Inhaling through my nose, I took him down as far as I could, deep throating him, feeling the tip of his dick press against the back of my throat, and a noise exploded from him when I swallowed around him. His hand tightened on my hair, and I pulled back, inhaling swiftly before repeating the action.

“Holy - fuck - baby, I’m gonna cum if you do that.”

I pulled away briefly, looking up at him with wild eyes and a smirk. “Then cum,” I whispered; Dean groaned as I returned my mouth to his cock, lapping at him before sinking down on him again. His hand on my hair pulled, and I found myself unable to reach him.

“I’d love to,” he muttered, arousal making his voice a deep rumble that electrified my core. “But I wanna sink into you and knot you, my sweet little Omega.” I shivered, letting him pull me into his arms, his fingers making short work of the bra and panties. They joined his boxer shorts on the floor, and he slotted himself between my thighs. 

Nipping at my breasts, Dean paid special attention to my nipples, growling all the while. “I’m gonna fuck you from behind like a proper Alpha.” His hand were massaging my ass as he spoke. “Wanna knot you, fill you with pups.”

The thought of letting him fuck me full was enough to make every nerve ending in my body tingle with desire. I wanted it. So bad. “It’s your birthday, baby. You can do what you want,” I gasped, as his teeth closed around one nipple and tugged, just enough to make me jerk my hips towards him. “Please, Alpha. Need you.”

“I know.” He reached down, running a finger along my slit, finding me already dripping for him. He sucked the digit into his mouth and smiled, crashing his lips into mine. “Turn around.” I obeyed instantly moving onto all fours as he kneeled behind me, slapping his cock against my ass playfully. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, rubbing his tip against my pussy. His hand came down on my ass, slapping my rear with a soft thwack and I cried out, moving back against him, seeking out the friction I wanted. 

Dean grinned, pushing into me a little way before pulling out again.

“Dean!” I cried out, desperate for him to be deep inside me; he groaned at the neediness in my voice, both hands grabbing my ass as he pulled me back onto his cock, watching while he was fully sheathed inside my body. “Alpha, yes!”

“’mega,” he growled, leaning over my back and seizing my breasts, his cock moving in slow strokes inside me. “Fuck, Y/N. Love you so much.” I couldn’t answer, literally reduced to a whimpering mess as he tweaked my nipples, the drive of his length inside me pushing me over the edge without much encouragement. I’d been thinking about this for days while he was away and as usual, Dean didn’t disappoint.

My orgasm was swift and heady, leaving me panting underneath him as he released my breasts, pulling me upward against him, driving deep into me with long, hard strokes. One hand was wrapped in my ponytail, the other alternating between teasing my nipples and my clit, and I felt the swell of his knot starting as he fucked me harder.

“Dean, please,” I begged, wanting to move, but finding myself completely immobilized in his hold. My slick was already staining my thighs, and his, but I knew I was close again. “Alpha, need your knot, baby.”

Dean grunted, biting at my neck, his thrusts becoming more erratic as his knot hindered him, and with a throaty roar, he held me tightly, pushing me over the edge with him once more. My name was a prayer on his lips as he came inside my ruined cunt, pumping long jets of spunk inside me; I gasped, the feeling of fullness overwhelming.

Both of us collapsed onto the bed, with Dean trying to keep his weight off of me, rolling a little to the side. Our panting echoed around the room, and he curled his body around mine, pulling me into a spooning embrace, his knot still inside my shivering body.

“I love you, so much, sweet Omega. My beautiful Y/N,” he whispered in my ear, his nose brushing against my hair. “Best birthday ever.” I giggled, my hand finding his, threading our fingers together.

“I love you too, Dean. My Alpha.” My reply was disrupted by a yawn, and Dean laughed softly, kissing my shoulder.

“Get some sleep.”

** _*****_ **

** _One Month Later_ **

** _Reader_ **

“Dean?” I peered around the bedroom door, finding him sorting through his sock drawer. He was always losing the damn things, and it made me laugh when I caught him wearing odd pairs. He’d been putting off sorting it out for ages.

“What’s up, baby?” Dean asked, smiling over at me with one Sonic The Hedgehog sock in one hand and those awful ‘Send Noods’ noodle socks Sam got him for Christmas in the other. “Man, I really hate socks.”

I smiled, walking a little closer. “Erm, well, you know it was your birthday a month ago?”

He frowned. “Yeah?”

“I’ve got a late birthday present for you.” I reached into my pocket, pulling out the white stick with two blue lines on it. “Happy birthday?” It was half question, half statement, both halves equally terrified.

Dean stared at the stick for a split second before a smile broke his expression.

“We’re pregnant?” he asked and I nodded. Dean whooped in joy, picking me up and spinning me around hard enough for me to squeak. “Yes!” I giggled as he dropped me back to the ground, seizing my face in a hard kiss. “You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” His hands cradled my still-flat tummy and the smile on his face only grew.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” I whispered.

Dean laughed. “Baby, I couldn’t be happier.”


	17. A few months later...

** _Reader_ **

Waking up next to Dean never got old. His warmth seemed to spread through the bed, along with his gentle snoring, but I didn’t mind.

Of course, his hand was still on my ass.

Despite the fact that I was now sleeping sideways because the bump was too much to lay on.

Five months gone with another pup, just the one this time, and I was over the moon. Dean was too, sharing every step with me this time, seeing as I’d missed out on so much with Bobby and John. The littlest Winchesters were growing like weeds. Not that I could call them the littlest Winchesters anymore.

Sam and Caitlin had welcomed baby Mary into the world only three months before and they were already well on the way with the second one. And with everyone under the same roof at the bunker, things could get a little… hectic.

But right now, it was a Sunday morning. No one else was awake, and Dean’s hand was in its usual resting spot on my ass. The world held a peaceful equilibrium and we were both where we belonged.

“Mornin’, sweetheart,” Dean muttered, his face buried in the pillow.

“Hey,” I whispered, rolling over, dislodging his hand from its spot so I could face him. “I thought you were still asleep.”

“I was,” he groaned, yawning widely before turning to face me. His hair was a mess and his face had sleep-lines where he’d been hugging the pillow. “But you shifted a little and, bam! Senses woke me up.”

“Goddamn those hunters instincts,” I giggled, finding myself with armfuls of Dean peppering kisses wherever he could reach. His mouth went to my throat as his hands cupped my breasts, pulling me closer.

"Hmm, you smell wonderful.”

“I need a shower.”

“Have one with me.”

“We won’t both fit,” I pointed out, motioning towards the bump. “Dean Junior is taking up too much room.”

His eyes lit up. “When’s the next scan?”

“Next week.”

“Can we find out the sex?” he asked and I nodded, before his gaze darkened, and his touch became a little more adventurous. “Can we have sex?”

“Hmmm.” I reached out for him, intending on granting his request, when the bedroom door burst open.

“Mom! Dad! John took my magazine!” The blond boy at the door interrupted us, and we both groaned in tandem, Dean’s head hitting the pillow again as he muttered something.

Another identical blond boy sprinted past the room. “No I didn’t!” he yelled in passing. Bobby scowled at his retreating brother before chasing after him. A second later, a crash was heard from the library, and then a baby started crying.

I sat up, a little off balance first thing in the morning as Dean came up behind me on his knees, nuzzling at my neck. “We should go and separate them. Were you and Sam this bad?”

“Worse,” he said, kissing me and I smiled.

“I’ll go. You get some more sleep.”

“I’m hungry,” he whined.

“Pancakes?”

“You’re the best.”

“Go on then.” Dean’s face dropped, and he dragged himself from the bed sulking as he walked past me. “You’re the best, sweetie.” I threw his words back at him with a giggle and he blew me a sarcastic kiss from the door, before heading into the kitchen to make the pancakes.

With a sigh, I hauled myself off the mattress, before looking around the room at the family photos. I could hear Caitlin shushing the disturbed Mary, while Sam greeted Dean in the kitchen, obviously up to make up a bottle. The boys continued to fight in the library.

I smiled.

Life was crazy.

But life was good.

##  **FIN**


End file.
